Archive | August, 2012

What I’ve Learned About Fucking Men From Fucking Men

31 Aug

Awhile back, I was fucking a top with a nine inch tool at one of the gay guesthouses by the beach here in Gay Partytown Ft. Lauderdale where I live when it hit me:

What have I learned about fucking men from, well, fucking men?

You see, for most of my gay career, I was pretty much an oral guy, and never let a guy get anything bigger than his tongue or finger near my hairy manhole. Then, about ten years ago, I came down to Lauderdale where you were almost forced to join one or the other of the two local political parties: toplican or a bottomcrat. Since I don’t wanna get fucked, I was left, by default, in total top territory and have found myself, with my humpy, hirsute body, almost seven inch tool, and cocky demeanor surprisingly in demand – even if I ain’t young anymore.

OK, so what have I learned?

That the guy still has to be a guy for me to get it up. Sorry for being judgmental – though equal opportunity employment doesn’t apply in the bedroom – but effeminate men, I don’t care how butch they look, won’t do it for Mr. Peter.

That I still need to see a stiff dick on my bottom for me to feel aroused.

That I like to suck a guy and have a guy suck me before I fuck him. Bottoms with their asses in the air and not interested in foreplay should get a broomstick.

That guys who describe themselves as “top/versatile” are closet bottoms.

That give me a furry butt and my cock is in fuck heaven, though a nice beefy, smooth ass can still do the job.

That I’ve fucked more guys who say their total tops with tools down to the floor than I’d ever figure.

That in this town, there are 7 bottoms to every three tops, yet most of the guys searching for a man on the sites are tops. And so many of these bottoms actually play hard to get. Huh? I can get off in the mirror, but you’re the one who needs my dick up your ass, right?

That they’re guys who say they want you to plow them all night and cum in ten minutes; or guys who say they love getting fucked, and get fucked all the time, then plead “watch it, man, I’m kinda tight” when you begin the penetration process.

That almost every bottom prefers to have his manhole prepped with your tongue before you shove it in.

That your tool can be half hard but as long as you’ve penetrated his hole (and I got a nice mushroom head to do that) and get it all the way up there, the guy is still in prostate heaven and usually cums with no problem. Yea, even with his dick limp.

That even when a guys lies to you and says he hasn’t been fucked in a while (like maybe 3 days), a wiff of poppers and he takes it like a pro.

That guys on E or meth are never satisfied, even if you fuck ‘em til your dick drops off.

That either position, on their stomach or with their legs up in the air facing you, is fine by me, but I feel I can penetrate him deeper when he faces me.

That my nips are hard-wired to my cock so if a guy plays with my nips while I fuck him, he knows he’s getting my maximum hard-on.

That my hottest fuck sessions are when my fuckee and I are role-playing Daddy and Boy (even if my Boy is 42) and how Dad needs to punish his boy’s butt to make him a man.

And finally that, no matter how much he tells you you’re a “Fucken A! , Fucken A!,” only one out of five bottoms you fuck ever invites you back for a second round.

So what happened to fuck buddies? Are they going the way of landline phones?

Tomorrow: What Would You Do If You Couldn’t Have Sex For A Year?

Tomorrow, we begin a series from The “Confessions” Archives: It’s All About Sex, Stupid!

30 Aug

And what better place to start than with: “What I’ve Learned About Fucking  Men From Fucking Men.”

30 Aug

For the past two years I’ve posted my daily blog, “Confessions of a Str8 Gay Man” where I’ve pontificated on just about facet of American gay subculture from sex (of course) to politics to hot spots to what I think makes us tick. All from the perspective of an ordinary gay man who’s seen and lived it all: Heady Gay Liberation, the Wild and Wicked Yet Strangely Innocent 70’s, the Genocidal 80’s, the Hesitant 90’s, right through the 21st Century Techno Obsession where we are today. Both a blessing and a curse, it has forever changed the gay landscape.

There are some of you who have applauded and lauded me for telling it like it is, not like the all-so-politically-correct gay pundits and activists tell us it should be; and there are others who have reviled me as a an arrogant, myopic, self-centered, heartless, uncaring,  narcissist deceiving asshole  – all true.  So be it. It’s my blog and I’ve said want I wanted to say; if you think differently, go write your own. That’s why God – not Al Gore – invented the internet.

I’ve also shared with you some of my most intimate experiences with the men I’ve known, loved and even slept with. And yes, what I told you was pretty much as it happened – no fiction writing here. Most of my encounters over the years have been mundane, even pedestrian, a few comical, a few hauntingly frightful, and a handful – maybe five in a lifetime – iconic, the kind of encounters and relationships gay men live for.

Yes, I guess I’ve been lucky.

But now I feel I’ve said just about all I wanted to say, and that it’s time to hang up my jockstrap, figuratively at least, and move on to other creative endeavors like my third work of gay fiction.

But who knows? I may return some day here to let it all hang out again with some more true confessions of a str8 gay man. After all, when it comes to being gay,  or living, never say never.

Meanwhile for the curious, below is a directory by subject of all the BS I’ve posted – Yikes! Did I write all that? – just in case one cold and lonely night you get bored with your favorite porn.

And if you’re in the mood for some raunchy gay tales with a film noir flair, check out my other site, erotic-gay-fiction.com; or my e-books on Amazon.com’s Kindle or Barnes and Nobles’ (bn.com) Nook, “Basic Butch” and “Not in It For the Love” under me, RP Andrews.

“Basic Butch” is my collection of edgy short stories set in some of America’s leading gay venues, New York, Chicago, Houston, and Fort Lauderdale and involve characters – gay men and women – whose arrogant, aggressive natures lead them down life paths they wished they had never explored. Walks on the beach these stories ain’t.

“Not In It For the Love,” a novella, is the story of Josh, an 18 year old psychopathic Florida drifter, whose body and cocky attitude are all he has to offer the world. Bishop, a successful Wall Street power broker, convinces Josh to leave the life of a cheap motel hustler and come away with him to Manhattan where he introduces him to The Good Life as his trophy boy. Yet for Josh, sex remains a momentary pleasure, or more often, a commodity for sale, and killing – beginning with his own parents – a practical way to make problems go away. And when Hylan, a fellow drifter, enters his life, Josh realizes killing is the only way for him to hold on to what matters. That is, until 9/11 changes everything.

For more, check out the pages listed under my blog masthead

Confessions of a Str8 Gay Man Subject Directory

Below is a directory of the subjects I’ve posted since I started Confessions of a Str8 Gay Man for your virgin enjoyment or hardcore rediscovery. Use the date and the monthly archive in the lower right column to retrieve.

Category headings:

  • The Gay Psyche
  • Gay Culture
  • Gay Issues and Politics
  • Man Make-over
  • Sex and Where To Find It
  • My Life and Loves as a Hirsute Man
  • Gay Personas
  • Relationships
  • Playing the Web
  • Friends, Family And Holidays
  • The Wizard! The Wizard!: Gays and God
  • Tripping: My Take on Some So-called Gay Travel Hotspots
  • Hangin’ Loose in SoFlo (South Florida)
  • Florida’s Gay Campgrounds  

The Gay Psyche

7/19/10 The Silent Majority
7/21, 22/10 Shades of Gay
7/20/10 The New Millennium Gay Lexicon
9/7/10 The Homophobic Homosexual
1/15/11 One Guy’s Lament: “I Hate Being Gay. It’s a Lonely, Miserable Life”
8/14,15/10 Telling Your World
2/15/11 What We Look For In a Man
8/3/10 Looking for Mr. Good Dick
2/17/11 How Far Would You Go For Mr. Right?
2/24/11 Kodak Moments
9/8.10,11/10 Forty Years Post Gay Liberation: What Went Wrong?
5/12, 13/11 The Male Gay Baby Boomer
8/28, 29/10 The Inferiority/Superiority Meter: Our Fragile Egos in Overdrive
2/27/11 What’s Gauche in Straight life is Hot in Gaydom
12/15/10 Me, Myself and I: Super Egos
5/7/11 You Ready for Retirement? (I don’t mean from sex, dude)
1/21/11 Canine Obsession
5/10/11 Rite of Passage
5/5/11 What the Fuck?! Crazy People, Crazy Moments
1/24, 26/11 Ten Minutes Left in the Candy Store: Coming Out Late in Life
5/17/11 Gay Happiness
3/21/12 Age and Attitude
3/23/12 Twenty Somethings: The Pan Sexual Generation?
3/24/12 The Warren Beatty Complex

 

Gay Culture

1/9/11 Is There Really a Gay Community?
8/4/10 The Guy Bar: An Endangered Species?
10/22,23,24/10 The U.S. Leather Scene: On Life Support?
 5/16/11 The Gay Gap: Segregation from Without – and Within
11/16/10 Twenty Somethings: The Pan-Sexual Generation?
10/13/10 Personal Reflections on the Gay Bullying Epidemic
4/23/11 Gay Double Speak
4/25/11 The Gay Nude Sub-Culture
8/9, 10/10 “Don’t Flush for Piss:” The Sleaze Factor
1/7/11 The Next Best Gay Bar
4/24/11 Gay Pride: Proud About What?
8/22/10 “You Party?”
2/24/11 Girley Man
11/17/10 Gays and Their Cell Phones, iphones, Blackberrys, etc.
1/22/11 Cruising in Limbo
1/30/11 My Beef with Men’s Fitness Magazine
11/7/10;4/16/12 Is Logo Exploitation Television? Is Logo Going Str8?
9/3/10 Was “Queer as Folk” For Real?
2/6/11 Stalkers
1/5/11 Gay Guys and Their Girl Friends
1/28/11 Oz vs. Kansas: The Urban Scene vs. Rural Nowhere
11/29/10 Lauderdale’s Leather Masked Ball
10/29/10 Halloween, South Florida Style
1/23/11 Lauderdale’s Top Gay “Professions”
11/26/10 SoFlo Tourists: A Necessary Evil
1/3/11 My 2020 Predictions for Gay Life
11/01/12 Beefcake TV: It’s About Fucken Time!
4/13/11 Florida’s Gay Rodeo: No Brokeback Mountain
3/6/12 Trouble in Gaytown?
3/8/12 “Cruising,” The Movie: A Gay Docudrama Of How It Was
3/22/12 The F Word (F for “Fag”)
3/22/12 Living in Tinseltown (South Florida)
3/30/12 Are American Men As Stupid As TV, Movies, Advertising Make Them Out To Be?
4/7/12 Wake Up Guys! Gay Cruises, Gay Days: They’re Not about Acceptance, They’re All About Our $$$
4/11/12 “My Week With Marilyn”: Michelle, I Knew Marilyn and You’re No Marilyn
4/9,12/12 Transgenderism Part of Gay Culture? Transgender This!
4/17/12 Gay Society’s One Percent
4/18/12 Gay History: Do The Young’ens Know? Or Even Care?
4/21/12 The Gay Rodeo’s in Town! OK and?
4/26/12  My Top Ten Worse Fag Bad Habits Out of the Bedroom
5/13/12 Lauderdale’s Beach Bear Weekend: More Social Than Sex

Gay Issues and Politics

10/8/10 Power in Numbers: We Could Fill the State of Texas and Then Some!
10/10/10 Gays and Adoption: Big News in the Sunshine State
12/19/10;1/15/12 It’s About Fucken Time: Gays and the Military
12/13,14/10 The AIDS Crisis: Victims, Self Inflicted
10/25,26/11 Gay Marriage Reality Check Time
12/1/11 What To Do About Florida’s AIDS Crisis NOW
12/20/11 Feds Say Real Estate Flipping Caused the Bust: How Gays Contributed To the Mess
12/28/11          White Party BS: When The Fuck Is AIDS Resource Gonna Wake Up?
1/13/12 Profanity on Broadcast TV: Hey Supreme Court? Ever Watch “Two & a Half Men?”
1/15/12 Flattery From the Pope
3/11/12 The HIV Health Care Access Working Work Policy: The Devil’s in The Details
3/13/12 “Pill Anyone?”: The Contraception Controversy
3/19/12 On The Subject of Marriage (Again)
12/4/11 Repealing DOMA Is Critical to Making Gay Marriage Work
4/21/12 Some More Good News Re. Gay Marriage
4/25/12 HIV Stigma Sucks.com
5/11/12 Is The Whole Gay Marriage Thing Going Down The Crapper?
5/15/12 Coming Out for Gay Marriage May Be the Dumbest Thing Obama Has Done
5/18/12 AIDS: Why Are We Still Even Talking About It?
6/13/12 Gay Marriage Showdown Destined for the Supreme Court?

 

Man Make-Over

2/28/11 Getting in Shape for Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now)
3/1, 2/11 Working Out and More Tales from the Gym
3/3,4/11 Cosmetic Surgery
3/5, 6/11 Rejuvenation Therapy: Mr. T and More

 

Sex and Where to Get It

2/27/11 So What Are You Looking For NOW?
8/11/10 The Dickter (as in Rickter) Scale
2/8/11 The Perfect Cock, the Perfect Butt: What’s Your Favorite?
2/4/11 What’s YOUR Body Count?
8/30, 9/1/10 A Hard Dick Is Hard To Find: America’s Erection Crisis
2/12, 13/11 What Happened To Lust?
2/7/11 Getting it Up and Keeping It Up: Those Magic Pills
2/9/11 Getting It Up and Keeping It Up: It’s All in Your Head
11/15/10 The Comings and Goings of Cumming
3/7, 8, 9/11 Baths and Sex Clubs
3/11, 10/11 Rating the Hook-up Sites
3/12/11 Making a Scene: Public Sex
1/8/11 Fuck Buddy Groups
8/5/10 The Fine Art of Cocksucking
2/22/11 Is Cocksucking a Lost Art?
1/16/11 Oral Only, Anyone?
5/5/11 The Magic Triangle
10/8,9/10 Bearcrashing
11/14, 11/29/10 Huge Cocks: Is Bigger Really Better?
11/27, 28/10 Underwear Nite at the Ramrod
12/4/10 Extreme Sex: X Marks The Spot
12/5, 6/10 This Hand Was Made for Fisting
12/8/10 Asphyxiation: How Tight Do You Want It?
12/10 Scat: Dirty Little Secrets
9/15/10 Fetishes: Strange Bedfellows
3/17, 18/11 Second Hand Sex
2/11/11 Talking Dirty
4/26-30/11 Picking Up Str8 Guys
2/10/11 Being a Pig Ain’t All Fun
1/31/11 Double Booking
3/28/11 7 Men, 32 Hours
3/14, 15, 16/11 Midnight At The Oasis: Friday Nite at The Local Sex Club
4/3/11 Rim Away!
1/2/12 Hard-on Day Dreaming
1/18/12 Getting Off the Assembly Editing Way
1/26/12 When Is Sex Addiction Not Sex Addiction
2/16/12 The Tina Fuck (No, Not Fuck Tina) Diet
3/11/12 The Res-Erection of Barebacking
3/18/12 The Way of All Flesh
3/18/12 Bottoms Up!
3/25, 4/30/12 What Would You Do If You Couldn’t Have Sex for A Year?
3/29/12 Not Happy With the Size of Your Dick?
4/6/12 Total Tops, Total Bottoms
4/11/12 What I’ve Learned About Fucking Men From Fucking Men
4/14/12 Is In-The-Flesh Sex Losing Out to Cyber Sex?
4/27/12 They Should Call It P-Pad (P for Porn)
4/28/12 My Top Worse Fag Habits in the Bedroom
5/3/12 So What’s My Fantasy? My REAL Fantasy?
6/26/12 The New Meat Syndrome
6/27/12 So What’s One Way for a Sex Pig to Go Celibate?
6/27/12 Go Fuck Yourself (Now You Can!)
7/1/12 Drugs and Sex: Inseparable?
7/21/12 Going Versatile

 

My Life and Loves as a Hirsute Man

8/21/10 It’s All About The Fur
2/21/11 My Life as a Furry Guy
2/23/11 Furry Backs
2/25, 26/11 Hairy Men I Have Known, Loved and Even Slept With
6/14-16/11 My Month as a Rentboy
2/17/12 My 15 Minutes of Fame (More Like 57) In Porn
3/16/12 I’m An Older Gay Man Who Likes Older Guys But …
5/30,31;6/1/12 The Memorial Day Weekend Diary of a Pig
6/13/12 Hirsute Phobia
7/8, 9/12 The Two Most Sensual Hours in My Life With The Sexiest Man I’ve Ever Known
7/10, 11/12 Friday Night and Saturday Morning: More With The Sexiest Man I’ve Ever Known
8/17, 18/12 How My Last Blow-Out with The Sexiest Man in My Life Almost Became the Nightmare of My Life
9/11/11 9-11: I Was There.

Gay Personas

 4/3/11 Technos
4/5/11 Bears
4/7/11 Muscle Bears
8/20/10 The Belt Loop Boys
4/4/11 Peter Pans and Tinker Bells
4/8/11 Closet Cases
4/9/11 Bi’s
4/10/11 Extremos
4/6/11 Flickers
5/15/11 A Tale of Two Men
1/29/11 Party Boy
10/17/10 The Perfect Fuck
12/23/10 Airheads
12/1,3/10 This Dad Has Two Sons
1/17/11 On Your Knees: My Born Again Manhunt Hook-up
12/27-31/10 Meth Heads: Ode to Mitch
3/18/12 A Boy and His Dog
3/20/12 The 2012 Airhead of The Year Award
3/21/12 The New Age Flasher
3/26/12 Career Gays vs. Professional Gays
4/20/12 The Flypaper Boys
4/27/12 The Asshole of the Month Award
5/2/12 Klone Kevin
5/4/12 So What’s a Daddy Dick?
5/5/12 Heterosexists
6/21/12 Silent Sex: Making it with a Deaf Guy

 

 Relationships

For my blogs on Gay Marriage see “Gay Issues and Politics”

8/2310 “Seeking LTR”: You Sure About That?
2/14/11 Gay LTR’s: Fantasy or Fact?
2/18/11 Making Relationships Work: Do’s and Don’ts
9/25/10 Monogamy: Another Gay Myth
9/12/10 Signs Something’s Amiss (in Your LTR)
8/12/10 Fuck Buddies
2/16/11 Partners Vs. Fuck Buddies: Who’s Better?
2/19/11 Fuckin’ Around (and Married)
9/26, 27/10 Threesomes: Utterly Decadent or Somewhat Problematic?
2/20/11 So You’re Calling It Quits: Getting Out Gracefully
2/2/11 Boys Don’t Cry: Are We Adult Males or Love Sick Adolescent Girls?
3/31/12 Ten Reasons Why Taking My Partner to Key West Was A Mistake
4/8/12 Monogamy Double Talk
4/18/12 Honesty in Relationships
4/25/12 He’s There Somewhere. Waiting. Waiting for You.
7/22/12 Those Who Don’t Have an LTR Want One, Those That Do, Want Out
8/3/12  Excess Baggage

 

 Sex Slots: Playing The Web

3/19/11 The Web: The New Millennium’s Gay Addiction
7/28/10 Confessions of a Cyber-spike Addict
3/20/11 Cyberspikes: Almost As Good As You Know What
3/21, 22/11 What Works and Doesn’t in a Web Profile
10/20/10?? Family Albums
3/25/11 “Caution: You Have Just Entered The No Fuck Zone.”
3/23, 24/11 Hook-up Fuck-offs, Cyberstyle
3/26, 27/11 Cyber Mindfuckers
2/5/11 Will These Web Boys Shit or Get Off the Pot?
5/5/11 Reading Between The Lines
5/4/11 “BTW, I want let you know I’m Poz, if that’s OK with you”
5/1/11 Are The Hook-up Sites Getting Prudish?
9/4/10 Web Hook-ups from Hell: Cruising in Craig Country
1/16/12 Chat with Some Hunk in Dubai Lately?
3/26/12 Thank the Gay God For My Midnight IM Saviors
4/5/12 How To Reply to a Totally Unsolicited Web Hit
4/24/12 How NOT to Hit Up a Guy You Really Want on the Web
5/1/12 Get Ur &&;LA DY ##hOT 2niTE With a {tOOL th at deLIVERES
5/3/12 Hook-up Gems
5/4/12 Wireless Café
5/23/12 Hey Dude, You’re Fucken Hot, I’d Loving Getting Together But …
6/13/12 Front Page News in South Florida: Grindr!
6/27/12 Odd Man Out – More Web Weirdies
6/27/12 He Sounds Like A Great Guy, But …
6/29/12 The Web:A Numbers Game, & Like Vegas, the Odds Are Against You

 

Friends, Family and Holidays

8/17, 18/10 Friends of the Friendless
12/19/10 Friends, Vacation and Fucking
12/21/10 Why I Hate The Holidays
5/8/11 Memories of My Own “Mommie Dearest”
12/21/11 Christmas Cheer?
4/22, 23/12 When Alien Worlds Collide: Boring Suburban Relatives vs. Evil Urban Me
5/13/12 My Mother’s Day Royal Fuck-up
3/13/12 Dad: My First Sex Object
5/28/12 Remembering Dad on Memorial Day

The Wizard! The Wizard!: Gays and God

12/20 Yes, God Loves Us.
12/22 What If Jesus Were Bi?

 

Tripping: My Take on Some So-Called Gay Travel Hotspots

5/2/11 The Pig Vacation Planner
9/29, 10/1/10 San Francisco: Resting on Its Gay Laurels?
11/19-21/10 Key West Techno
12/11, 12/10 California Dreaming
4/15/11 Tampa and St. Pete’s
5/14/12 St. Pete’s Revisited
4/13/11 New Orleans
4/14/11 Chicago
7/14, 15/12 Montreal: Land of the Uncut 2010 vs. 2012
4/22/11 London, Paris
1/12/11 Seattle Seedy   
8/5-8/12 Cruising and Making It In Berlin

 Hangin’ in So Flo (South Florida)

 3/29/11 Hanging in SoFlo
10/16/11 Sebastian Beach, Fort Lauderdale’s Gay Sandbox
3/30, 31/11 Haulover: SoFlo’s Nude Beach
4/2/11 The Bar Scene for the Str8 Gay Man
1/10/11 Blowing A Load: Places to Have Sex (Legally) in Lauderdale

 

Florida’s Gay Campgrounds

2/05/12 Campground Cruising
11/5, 6/10 Cockteasing at Sawmill Campgrounds
7/5/12 No Life On Mars (Mars, Florida’s Gay Campgrounds That Is Is)
12/12/11;7/28/12 Vitambi Springs

 

29 Aug

For the past two years I’ve posted my daily blog, “Confessions of a Str8 Gay Man” where I’ve pontificated on just about facet of American gay subculture from sex (of course) to politics to hot spots to what I think makes us tick. All from the perspective of an ordinary gay man who’s seen and lived it all: Heady Gay Liberation, the Wild and Wicked Yet Strangely Innocent 70’s, the Genocidal 80’s, the Hesitant 90’s, right through the 21st Century Techno Obsession where we are today. Both a blessing and a curse, it has forever changed the gay landscape.

There are some of you who have applauded and lauded me for telling it like it is, not like the all-so-politically-correct gay pundits and activists tell us it should be; and there are others who have reviled me as a an arrogant, myopic, self-centered, heartless, uncaring,  narcissist deceiving asshole  – all true.  So be it. It’s my blog and I’ve said want I wanted to say; if you think differently, go write your own. That’s why God – not Al Gore – invented the internet.

I’ve also shared with you some of my most intimate experiences with the men I’ve known, loved and even slept with. And yes, what I told you was pretty much as it happened – no fiction writing here. Most of my encounters over the years have been mundane, even pedestrian, a few comical, a few hauntingly frightful, and a handful – maybe five in a lifetime – iconic, the kind of encounters and relationships gay men live for.

Yes, I guess I’ve been lucky.

But now I feel I’ve said just about all I wanted to say, and that it’s time to hang up my jockstrap, figuratively at least, and move on to other creative endeavors like my third work of gay fiction.

But who knows? I may return some day here to let it all hang out again with some more true confessions of a str8 gay man. After all, when it comes to being gay,  or living, never say never.

Meanwhile for the curious, below is a directory by subject of all the BS I’ve posted – Yikes! Did I write all that? – just in case one cold and lonely night you get bored with your favorite porn.

And if you’re in the mood for some raunchy gay tales with a film noir flair, check out my other site, erotic-gay-fiction.com; or my e-books on Amazon.com’s Kindle or Barnes and Nobles’ (bn.com) Nook, “Basic Butch” and “Not in It For the Love” under me, RP Andrews.

“Basic Butch” is my collection of edgy short stories set in some of America’s leading gay venues, New York, Chicago, Houston, and Fort Lauderdale and involve characters – gay men and women – whose arrogant, aggressive natures lead them down life paths they wished they had never explored. Walks on the beach these stories ain’t.

“Not In It For the Love,” a novella, is the story of Josh, an 18 year old psychopathic Florida drifter, whose body and cocky attitude are all he has to offer the world. Bishop, a successful Wall Street power broker, convinces Josh to leave the life of a cheap motel hustler and come away with him to Manhattan where he introduces him to The Good Life as his trophy boy. Yet for Josh, sex remains a momentary pleasure, or more often, a commodity for sale, and killing – beginning with his own parents – a practical way to make problems go away. And when Hylan, a fellow drifter, enters his life, Josh realizes killing is the only way for him to hold on to what matters. That is, until 9/11 changes everything.

For more, check out the pages listed under my blog masthead

Confessions of a Str8 Gay Man Subject Directory

Below is a directory of the subjects I’ve posted since I started Confessions of a Str8 Gay Man for your virgin enjoyment or hardcore rediscovery. Use the date and the monthly archive in the lower right column to retrieve.

Category headings:

  • The Gay Psyche
  • Gay Culture
  • Gay Issues and Politics
  • Man Make-over
  • Sex and Where To Find It
  • My Life and Loves as a Hirsute Man
  • Gay Personas
  • Relationships
  • Playing the Web
  • Friends, Family And Holidays
  • The Wizard! The Wizard!: Gays and God
  • Tripping: My Take on Some So-called Gay Travel Hotspots
  • Hangin’ Loose in SoFlo (South Florida)
  • Florida’s Gay Campgrounds  

The Gay Psyche

7/19/10 The Silent Majority
7/21, 22/10 Shades of Gay
7/20/10 The New Millennium Gay Lexicon
9/7/10 The Homophobic Homosexual
1/15/11 One Guy’s Lament: “I Hate Being Gay. It’s a Lonely, Miserable Life”
8/14,15/10 Telling Your World
2/15/11 What We Look For In a Man
8/3/10 Looking for Mr. Good Dick
2/17/11 How Far Would You Go For Mr. Right?
2/24/11 Kodak Moments
9/8.10,11/10 Forty Years Post Gay Liberation: What Went Wrong?
5/12, 13/11 The Male Gay Baby Boomer
8/28, 29/10 The Inferiority/Superiority Meter: Our Fragile Egos in Overdrive
2/27/11 What’s Gauche in Straight life is Hot in Gaydom
12/15/10 Me, Myself and I: Super Egos
5/7/11 You Ready for Retirement? (I don’t mean from sex, dude)
1/21/11 Canine Obsession
5/10/11 Rite of Passage
5/5/11 What the Fuck?! Crazy People, Crazy Moments
1/24, 26/11 Ten Minutes Left in the Candy Store: Coming Out Late in Life
5/17/11 Gay Happiness
3/21/12 Age and Attitude
3/23/12 Twenty Somethings: The Pan Sexual Generation?
3/24/12 The Warren Beatty Complex

 

Gay Culture

1/9/11 Is There Really a Gay Community?
8/4/10 The Guy Bar: An Endangered Species?
10/22,23,24/10 The U.S. Leather Scene: On Life Support?
 5/16/11 The Gay Gap: Segregation from Without – and Within
11/16/10 Twenty Somethings: The Pan-Sexual Generation?
10/13/10 Personal Reflections on the Gay Bullying Epidemic
4/23/11 Gay Double Speak
4/25/11 The Gay Nude Sub-Culture
8/9, 10/10 “Don’t Flush for Piss:” The Sleaze Factor
1/7/11 The Next Best Gay Bar
4/24/11 Gay Pride: Proud About What?
8/22/10 “You Party?”
2/24/11 Girley Man
11/17/10 Gays and Their Cell Phones, iphones, Blackberrys, etc.
1/22/11 Cruising in Limbo
1/30/11 My Beef with Men’s Fitness Magazine
11/7/10;4/16/12 Is Logo Exploitation Television? Is Logo Going Str8?
9/3/10 Was “Queer as Folk” For Real?
2/6/11 Stalkers
1/5/11 Gay Guys and Their Girl Friends
1/28/11 Oz vs. Kansas: The Urban Scene vs. Rural Nowhere
11/29/10 Lauderdale’s Leather Masked Ball
10/29/10 Halloween, South Florida Style
1/23/11 Lauderdale’s Top Gay “Professions”
11/26/10 SoFlo Tourists: A Necessary Evil
1/3/11 My 2020 Predictions for Gay Life
11/01/12 Beefcake TV: It’s About Fucken Time!
4/13/11 Florida’s Gay Rodeo: No Brokeback Mountain
3/6/12 Trouble in Gaytown?
3/8/12 “Cruising,” The Movie: A Gay Docudrama Of How It Was
3/22/12 The F Word (F for “Fag”)
3/22/12 Living in Tinseltown (South Florida)
3/30/12 Are American Men As Stupid As TV, Movies, Advertising Make Them Out To Be?
4/7/12 Wake Up Guys! Gay Cruises, Gay Days: They’re Not about Acceptance, They’re All About Our $$$
4/11/12 “My Week With Marilyn”: Michelle, I Knew Marilyn and You’re No Marilyn
4/9,12/12 Transgenderism Part of Gay Culture? Transgender This!
4/17/12 Gay Society’s One Percent
4/18/12 Gay History: Do The Young’ens Know? Or Even Care?
4/21/12 The Gay Rodeo’s in Town! OK and?
4/26/12  My Top Ten Worse Fag Bad Habits Out of the Bedroom
5/13/12 Lauderdale’s Beach Bear Weekend: More Social Than Sex

Gay Issues and Politics

10/8/10 Power in Numbers: We Could Fill the State of Texas and Then Some!
10/10/10 Gays and Adoption: Big News in the Sunshine State
12/19/10;1/15/12 It’s About Fucken Time: Gays and the Military
12/13,14/10 The AIDS Crisis: Victims, Self Inflicted
10/25,26/11 Gay Marriage Reality Check Time
12/1/11 What To Do About Florida’s AIDS Crisis NOW
12/20/11 Feds Say Real Estate Flipping Caused the Bust: How Gays Contributed To the Mess
12/28/11          White Party BS: When The Fuck Is AIDS Resource Gonna Wake Up?
1/13/12 Profanity on Broadcast TV: Hey Supreme Court? Ever Watch “Two & a Half Men?”
1/15/12 Flattery From the Pope
3/11/12 The HIV Health Care Access Working Work Policy: The Devil’s in The Details
3/13/12 “Pill Anyone?”: The Contraception Controversy
3/19/12 On The Subject of Marriage (Again)
12/4/11 Repealing DOMA Is Critical to Making Gay Marriage Work
4/21/12 Some More Good News Re. Gay Marriage
4/25/12 HIV Stigma Sucks.com
5/11/12 Is The Whole Gay Marriage Thing Going Down The Crapper?
5/15/12 Coming Out for Gay Marriage May Be the Dumbest Thing Obama Has Done
5/18/12 AIDS: Why Are We Still Even Talking About It?
6/13/12 Gay Marriage Showdown Destined for the Supreme Court?

 

Man Make-Over

2/28/11 Getting in Shape for Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now)
3/1, 2/11 Working Out and More Tales from the Gym
3/3,4/11 Cosmetic Surgery
3/5, 6/11 Rejuvenation Therapy: Mr. T and More

 

Sex and Where to Get It

2/27/11 So What Are You Looking For NOW?
8/11/10 The Dickter (as in Rickter) Scale
2/8/11 The Perfect Cock, the Perfect Butt: What’s Your Favorite?
2/4/11 What’s YOUR Body Count?
8/30, 9/1/10 A Hard Dick Is Hard To Find: America’s Erection Crisis
2/12, 13/11 What Happened To Lust?
2/7/11 Getting it Up and Keeping It Up: Those Magic Pills
2/9/11 Getting It Up and Keeping It Up: It’s All in Your Head
11/15/10 The Comings and Goings of Cumming
3/7, 8, 9/11 Baths and Sex Clubs
3/11, 10/11 Rating the Hook-up Sites
3/12/11 Making a Scene: Public Sex
1/8/11 Fuck Buddy Groups
8/5/10 The Fine Art of Cocksucking
2/22/11 Is Cocksucking a Lost Art?
1/16/11 Oral Only, Anyone?
5/5/11 The Magic Triangle
10/8,9/10 Bearcrashing
11/14, 11/29/10 Huge Cocks: Is Bigger Really Better?
11/27, 28/10 Underwear Nite at the Ramrod
12/4/10 Extreme Sex: X Marks The Spot
12/5, 6/10 This Hand Was Made for Fisting
12/8/10 Asphyxiation: How Tight Do You Want It?
12/10 Scat: Dirty Little Secrets
9/15/10 Fetishes: Strange Bedfellows
3/17, 18/11 Second Hand Sex
2/11/11 Talking Dirty
4/26-30/11 Picking Up Str8 Guys
2/10/11 Being a Pig Ain’t All Fun
1/31/11 Double Booking
3/28/11 7 Men, 32 Hours
3/14, 15, 16/11 Midnight At The Oasis: Friday Nite at The Local Sex Club
4/3/11 Rim Away!
1/2/12 Hard-on Day Dreaming
1/18/12 Getting Off the Assembly Editing Way
1/26/12 When Is Sex Addiction Not Sex Addiction
2/16/12 The Tina Fuck (No, Not Fuck Tina) Diet
3/11/12 The Res-Erection of Barebacking
3/18/12 The Way of All Flesh
3/18/12 Bottoms Up!
3/25, 4/30/12 What Would You Do If You Couldn’t Have Sex for A Year?
3/29/12 Not Happy With the Size of Your Dick?
4/6/12 Total Tops, Total Bottoms
4/11/12 What I’ve Learned About Fucking Men From Fucking Men
4/14/12 Is In-The-Flesh Sex Losing Out to Cyber Sex?
4/27/12 They Should Call It P-Pad (P for Porn)
4/28/12 My Top Worse Fag Habits in the Bedroom
5/3/12 So What’s My Fantasy? My REAL Fantasy?
6/26/12 The New Meat Syndrome
6/27/12 So What’s One Way for a Sex Pig to Go Celibate?
6/27/12 Go Fuck Yourself (Now You Can!)
7/1/12 Drugs and Sex: Inseparable?
7/21/12 Going Versatile

 

My Life and Loves as a Hirsute Man

8/21/10 It’s All About The Fur
2/21/11 My Life as a Furry Guy
2/23/11 Furry Backs
2/25, 26/11 Hairy Men I Have Known, Loved and Even Slept With
6/14-16/11 My Month as a Rentboy
2/17/12 My 15 Minutes of Fame (More Like 57) In Porn
3/16/12 I’m An Older Gay Man Who Likes Older Guys But …
5/30,31;6/1/12 The Memorial Day Weekend Diary of a Pig
6/13/12 Hirsute Phobia
7/8, 9/12 The Two Most Sensual Hours in My Life With The Sexiest Man I’ve Ever Known
7/10, 11/12 Friday Night and Saturday Morning: More With The Sexiest Man I’ve Ever Known
8/17, 18/12 How My Last Blow-Out with The Sexiest Man in My Life Almost Became the Nightmare of My Life
9/11/11 9-11: I Was There.

Gay Personas

 4/3/11 Technos
4/5/11 Bears
4/7/11 Muscle Bears
8/20/10 The Belt Loop Boys
4/4/11 Peter Pans and Tinker Bells
4/8/11 Closet Cases
4/9/11 Bi’s
4/10/11 Extremos
4/6/11 Flickers
5/15/11 A Tale of Two Men
1/29/11 Party Boy
10/17/10 The Perfect Fuck
12/23/10 Airheads
12/1,3/10 This Dad Has Two Sons
1/17/11 On Your Knees: My Born Again Manhunt Hook-up
12/27-31/10 Meth Heads: Ode to Mitch
3/18/12 A Boy and His Dog
3/20/12 The 2012 Airhead of The Year Award
3/21/12 The New Age Flasher
3/26/12 Career Gays vs. Professional Gays
4/20/12 The Flypaper Boys
4/27/12 The Asshole of the Month Award
5/2/12 Klone Kevin
5/4/12 So What’s a Daddy Dick?
5/5/12 Heterosexists
6/21/12 Silent Sex: Making it with a Deaf Guy

 

 Relationships

For my blogs on Gay Marriage see “Gay Issues and Politics”

8/2310 “Seeking LTR”: You Sure About That?
2/14/11 Gay LTR’s: Fantasy or Fact?
2/18/11 Making Relationships Work: Do’s and Don’ts
9/25/10 Monogamy: Another Gay Myth
9/12/10 Signs Something’s Amiss (in Your LTR)
8/12/10 Fuck Buddies
2/16/11 Partners Vs. Fuck Buddies: Who’s Better?
2/19/11 Fuckin’ Around (and Married)
9/26, 27/10 Threesomes: Utterly Decadent or Somewhat Problematic?
2/20/11 So You’re Calling It Quits: Getting Out Gracefully
2/2/11 Boys Don’t Cry: Are We Adult Males or Love Sick Adolescent Girls?
3/31/12 Ten Reasons Why Taking My Partner to Key West Was A Mistake
4/8/12 Monogamy Double Talk
4/18/12 Honesty in Relationships
4/25/12 He’s There Somewhere. Waiting. Waiting for You.
7/22/12 Those Who Don’t Have an LTR Want One, Those That Do, Want Out
8/3/12  Excess Baggage

 

 Sex Slots: Playing The Web

3/19/11 The Web: The New Millennium’s Gay Addiction
7/28/10 Confessions of a Cyber-spike Addict
3/20/11 Cyberspikes: Almost As Good As You Know What
3/21, 22/11 What Works and Doesn’t in a Web Profile
10/20/10?? Family Albums
3/25/11 “Caution: You Have Just Entered The No Fuck Zone.”
3/23, 24/11 Hook-up Fuck-offs, Cyberstyle
3/26, 27/11 Cyber Mindfuckers
2/5/11 Will These Web Boys Shit or Get Off the Pot?
5/5/11 Reading Between The Lines
5/4/11 “BTW, I want let you know I’m Poz, if that’s OK with you”
5/1/11 Are The Hook-up Sites Getting Prudish?
9/4/10 Web Hook-ups from Hell: Cruising in Craig Country
1/16/12 Chat with Some Hunk in Dubai Lately?
3/26/12 Thank the Gay God For My Midnight IM Saviors
4/5/12 How To Reply to a Totally Unsolicited Web Hit
4/24/12 How NOT to Hit Up a Guy You Really Want on the Web
5/1/12 Get Ur &&;LA DY ##hOT 2niTE With a {tOOL th at deLIVERES
5/3/12 Hook-up Gems
5/4/12 Wireless Café
5/23/12 Hey Dude, You’re Fucken Hot, I’d Loving Getting Together But …
6/13/12 Front Page News in South Florida: Grindr!
6/27/12 Odd Man Out – More Web Weirdies
6/27/12 He Sounds Like A Great Guy, But …
6/29/12 The Web:A Numbers Game, & Like Vegas, the Odds Are Against You

 

Friends, Family and Holidays

8/17, 18/10 Friends of the Friendless
12/19/10 Friends, Vacation and Fucking
12/21/10 Why I Hate The Holidays
5/8/11 Memories of My Own “Mommie Dearest”
12/21/11 Christmas Cheer?
4/22, 23/12 When Alien Worlds Collide: Boring Suburban Relatives vs. Evil Urban Me
5/13/12 My Mother’s Day Royal Fuck-up
3/13/12 Dad: My First Sex Object
5/28/12 Remembering Dad on Memorial Day

The Wizard! The Wizard!: Gays and God

12/20 Yes, God Loves Us.
12/22 What If Jesus Were Bi?

 

Tripping: My Take on Some So-Called Gay Travel Hotspots

5/2/11 The Pig Vacation Planner
9/29, 10/1/10 San Francisco: Resting on Its Gay Laurels?
11/19-21/10 Key West Techno
12/11, 12/10 California Dreaming
4/15/11 Tampa and St. Pete’s
5/14/12 St. Pete’s Revisited
4/13/11 New Orleans
4/14/11 Chicago
7/14, 15/12 Montreal: Land of the Uncut 2010 vs. 2012
4/22/11 London, Paris
1/12/11 Seattle Seedy   
8/5-8/12 Cruising and Making It In Berlin

 Hangin’ in So Flo (South Florida)

 3/29/11 Hanging in SoFlo
10/16/11 Sebastian Beach, Fort Lauderdale’s Gay Sandbox
3/30, 31/11 Haulover: SoFlo’s Nude Beach
4/2/11 The Bar Scene for the Str8 Gay Man
1/10/11 Blowing A Load: Places to Have Sex (Legally) in Lauderdale

 

Florida’s Gay Campgrounds

2/05/12 Campground Cruising
11/5, 6/10 Cockteasing at Sawmill Campgrounds
7/5/12 No Life On Mars (Mars, Florida’s Gay Campgrounds That Is Is)
12/12/11;7/28/12 Vitambi Springs

 

28 Aug

For the past two years I’ve posted my daily blog, “Confessions of a Str8 Gay Man” where I’ve pontificated on just about facet of American gay subculture from sex (of course) to politics to hot spots to what I think makes us tick. All from the perspective of an ordinary gay man who’s seen and lived it all: Heady Gay Liberation, the Wild and Wicked Yet Strangely Innocent 70’s, the Genocidal 80’s, the Hesitant 90’s, right through the 21st Century Techno Obsession where we are today. Both a blessing and a curse, it has forever changed the gay landscape.

There are some of you who have applauded and lauded me for telling it like it is, not like the all-so-politically-correct gay pundits and activists tell us it should be; and there are others who have reviled me as a an arrogant, myopic, self-centered, heartless, uncaring,  narcissist deceiving asshole  – all true.  So be it. It’s my blog and I’ve said want I wanted to say; if you think differently, go write your own. That’s why God – not Al Gore – invented the internet.

I’ve also shared with you some of my most intimate experiences with the men I’ve known, loved and even slept with. And yes, what I told you was pretty much as it happened – no fiction writing here. Most of my encounters over the years have been mundane, even pedestrian, a few comical, a few hauntingly frightful, and a handful – maybe five in a lifetime – iconic, the kind of encounters and relationships gay men live for.

Yes, I guess I’ve been lucky.

But now I feel I’ve said just about all I wanted to say, and that it’s time to hang up my jockstrap, figuratively at least, and move on to other creative endeavors like my third work of gay fiction.

But who knows? I may return some day here to let it all hang out again with some more true confessions of a str8 gay man. After all, when it comes to being gay,  or living, never say never. You may also want to check my new blog, “A Furry Man’s Journal” at furrymansjournal.com, debuting September 15.

Meanwhile for the curious, below is a directory by subject of all the BS I’ve posted – Yikes! Did I write all that? – just in case one cold and lonely night you get bored with your favorite porn.

And if you’re in the mood for some raunchy gay tales with a film noir flair, check out my other site, erotic-gay-fiction.com; or my e-books on Amazon.com’s Kindle or Barnes and Nobles’ (bn.com) Nook, “Basic Butch” and “Not in It For the Love” under me, RP Andrews.

“Basic Butch” is my collection of edgy short stories set in some of America’s leading gay venues, New York, Chicago, Houston, and Fort Lauderdale and involve characters – gay men and women – whose arrogant, aggressive natures lead them down life paths they wished they had never explored. Walks on the beach these stories ain’t.

“Not In It For the Love,” a novella, is the story of Josh, an 18 year old psychopathic Florida drifter, whose body and cocky attitude are all he has to offer the world. Bishop, a successful Wall Street power broker, convinces Josh to leave the life of a cheap motel hustler and come away with him to Manhattan where he introduces him to The Good Life as his trophy boy. Yet for Josh, sex remains a momentary pleasure, or more often, a commodity for sale, and killing – beginning with his own parents – a practical way to make problems go away. And when Hylan, a fellow drifter, enters his life, Josh realizes killing is the only way for him to hold on to what matters. That is, until 9/11 changes everything.

For more, check out the pages listed under my blog masthead

Confessions of a Str8 Gay Man Subject Directory

Below is a directory of the subjects I’ve posted since I started Confessions of a Str8 Gay Man for your virgin enjoyment or hardcore rediscovery. Use the date and the monthly archive in the lower right column to retrieve.

Category headings:

  • The Gay Psyche
  • Gay Culture
  • Gay Issues and Politics
  • Man Make-over
  • Sex and Where To Find It
  • My Life and Loves as a Hirsute Man
  • Gay Personas
  • Relationships
  • Playing the Web
  • Friends, Family And Holidays
  • The Wizard! The Wizard!: Gays and God
  • Tripping: My Take on Some So-called Gay Travel Hotspots
  • Hangin’ Loose in SoFlo (South Florida)
  • Florida’s Gay Campgrounds  

The Gay Psyche

7/19/10 The Silent Majority
7/21, 22/10 Shades of Gay
7/20/10 The New Millennium Gay Lexicon
9/7/10 The Homophobic Homosexual
1/15/11 One Guy’s Lament: “I Hate Being Gay. It’s a Lonely, Miserable Life”
8/14,15/10 Telling Your World
2/15/11 What We Look For In a Man
8/3/10 Looking for Mr. Good Dick
2/17/11 How Far Would You Go For Mr. Right?
2/24/11 Kodak Moments
9/8.10,11/10 Forty Years Post Gay Liberation: What Went Wrong?
5/12, 13/11 The Male Gay Baby Boomer
8/28, 29/10 The Inferiority/Superiority Meter: Our Fragile Egos in Overdrive
2/27/11 What’s Gauche in Straight life is Hot in Gaydom
12/15/10 Me, Myself and I: Super Egos
5/7/11 You Ready for Retirement? (I don’t mean from sex, dude)
1/21/11 Canine Obsession
5/10/11 Rite of Passage
5/5/11 What the Fuck?! Crazy People, Crazy Moments
1/24, 26/11 Ten Minutes Left in the Candy Store: Coming Out Late in Life
5/17/11 Gay Happiness
3/21/12 Age and Attitude
3/23/12 Twenty Somethings: The Pan Sexual Generation?
3/24/12 The Warren Beatty Complex

 

Gay Culture

1/9/11 Is There Really a Gay Community?
8/4/10 The Guy Bar: An Endangered Species?
10/22,23,24/10 The U.S. Leather Scene: On Life Support?
 5/16/11 The Gay Gap: Segregation from Without – and Within
11/16/10 Twenty Somethings: The Pan-Sexual Generation?
10/13/10 Personal Reflections on the Gay Bullying Epidemic
4/23/11 Gay Double Speak
4/25/11 The Gay Nude Sub-Culture
8/9, 10/10 “Don’t Flush for Piss:” The Sleaze Factor
1/7/11 The Next Best Gay Bar
4/24/11 Gay Pride: Proud About What?
8/22/10 “You Party?”
2/24/11 Girley Man
11/17/10 Gays and Their Cell Phones, iphones, Blackberrys, etc.
1/22/11 Cruising in Limbo
1/30/11 My Beef with Men’s Fitness Magazine
11/7/10;4/16/12 Is Logo Exploitation Television? Is Logo Going Str8?
9/3/10 Was “Queer as Folk” For Real?
2/6/11 Stalkers
1/5/11 Gay Guys and Their Girl Friends
1/28/11 Oz vs. Kansas: The Urban Scene vs. Rural Nowhere
11/29/10 Lauderdale’s Leather Masked Ball
10/29/10 Halloween, South Florida Style
1/23/11 Lauderdale’s Top Gay “Professions”
11/26/10 SoFlo Tourists: A Necessary Evil
1/3/11 My 2020 Predictions for Gay Life
11/01/12 Beefcake TV: It’s About Fucken Time!
4/13/11 Florida’s Gay Rodeo: No Brokeback Mountain
3/6/12 Trouble in Gaytown?
3/8/12 “Cruising,” The Movie: A Gay Docudrama Of How It Was
3/22/12 The F Word (F for “Fag”)
3/22/12 Living in Tinseltown (South Florida)
3/30/12 Are American Men As Stupid As TV, Movies, Advertising Make Them Out To Be?
4/7/12 Wake Up Guys! Gay Cruises, Gay Days: They’re Not about Acceptance, They’re All About Our $$$
4/11/12 “My Week With Marilyn”: Michelle, I Knew Marilyn and You’re No Marilyn
4/9,12/12 Transgenderism Part of Gay Culture? Transgender This!
4/17/12 Gay Society’s One Percent
4/18/12 Gay History: Do The Young’ens Know? Or Even Care?
4/21/12 The Gay Rodeo’s in Town! OK and?
4/26/12  My Top Ten Worse Fag Bad Habits Out of the Bedroom
5/13/12 Lauderdale’s Beach Bear Weekend: More Social Than Sex

Gay Issues and Politics

10/8/10 Power in Numbers: We Could Fill the State of Texas and Then Some!
10/10/10 Gays and Adoption: Big News in the Sunshine State
12/19/10;1/15/12 It’s About Fucken Time: Gays and the Military
12/13,14/10 The AIDS Crisis: Victims, Self Inflicted
10/25,26/11 Gay Marriage Reality Check Time
12/1/11 What To Do About Florida’s AIDS Crisis NOW
12/20/11 Feds Say Real Estate Flipping Caused the Bust: How Gays Contributed To the Mess
12/28/11          White Party BS: When The Fuck Is AIDS Resource Gonna Wake Up?
1/13/12 Profanity on Broadcast TV: Hey Supreme Court? Ever Watch “Two & a Half Men?”
1/15/12 Flattery From the Pope
3/11/12 The HIV Health Care Access Working Work Policy: The Devil’s in The Details
3/13/12 “Pill Anyone?”: The Contraception Controversy
3/19/12 On The Subject of Marriage (Again)
12/4/11 Repealing DOMA Is Critical to Making Gay Marriage Work
4/21/12 Some More Good News Re. Gay Marriage
4/25/12 HIV Stigma Sucks.com
5/11/12 Is The Whole Gay Marriage Thing Going Down The Crapper?
5/15/12 Coming Out for Gay Marriage May Be the Dumbest Thing Obama Has Done
5/18/12 AIDS: Why Are We Still Even Talking About It?
6/13/12 Gay Marriage Showdown Destined for the Supreme Court?

 

Man Make-Over

2/28/11 Getting in Shape for Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now)
3/1, 2/11 Working Out and More Tales from the Gym
3/3,4/11 Cosmetic Surgery
3/5, 6/11 Rejuvenation Therapy: Mr. T and More

 

Sex and Where to Get It

2/27/11 So What Are You Looking For NOW?
8/11/10 The Dickter (as in Rickter) Scale
2/8/11 The Perfect Cock, the Perfect Butt: What’s Your Favorite?
2/4/11 What’s YOUR Body Count?
8/30, 9/1/10 A Hard Dick Is Hard To Find: America’s Erection Crisis
2/12, 13/11 What Happened To Lust?
2/7/11 Getting it Up and Keeping It Up: Those Magic Pills
2/9/11 Getting It Up and Keeping It Up: It’s All in Your Head
11/15/10 The Comings and Goings of Cumming
3/7, 8, 9/11 Baths and Sex Clubs
3/11, 10/11 Rating the Hook-up Sites
3/12/11 Making a Scene: Public Sex
1/8/11 Fuck Buddy Groups
8/5/10 The Fine Art of Cocksucking
2/22/11 Is Cocksucking a Lost Art?
1/16/11 Oral Only, Anyone?
5/5/11 The Magic Triangle
10/8,9/10 Bearcrashing
11/14, 11/29/10 Huge Cocks: Is Bigger Really Better?
11/27, 28/10 Underwear Nite at the Ramrod
12/4/10 Extreme Sex: X Marks The Spot
12/5, 6/10 This Hand Was Made for Fisting
12/8/10 Asphyxiation: How Tight Do You Want It?
12/10 Scat: Dirty Little Secrets
9/15/10 Fetishes: Strange Bedfellows
3/17, 18/11 Second Hand Sex
2/11/11 Talking Dirty
4/26-30/11 Picking Up Str8 Guys
2/10/11 Being a Pig Ain’t All Fun
1/31/11 Double Booking
3/28/11 7 Men, 32 Hours
3/14, 15, 16/11 Midnight At The Oasis: Friday Nite at The Local Sex Club
4/3/11 Rim Away!
1/2/12 Hard-on Day Dreaming
1/18/12 Getting Off the Assembly Editing Way
1/26/12 When Is Sex Addiction Not Sex Addiction
2/16/12 The Tina Fuck (No, Not Fuck Tina) Diet
3/11/12 The Res-Erection of Barebacking
3/18/12 The Way of All Flesh
3/18/12 Bottoms Up!
3/25, 4/30/12 What Would You Do If You Couldn’t Have Sex for A Year?
3/29/12 Not Happy With the Size of Your Dick?
4/6/12 Total Tops, Total Bottoms
4/11/12 What I’ve Learned About Fucking Men From Fucking Men
4/14/12 Is In-The-Flesh Sex Losing Out to Cyber Sex?
4/27/12 They Should Call It P-Pad (P for Porn)
4/28/12 My Top Worse Fag Habits in the Bedroom
5/3/12 So What’s My Fantasy? My REAL Fantasy?
6/26/12 The New Meat Syndrome
6/27/12 So What’s One Way for a Sex Pig to Go Celibate?
6/27/12 Go Fuck Yourself (Now You Can!)
7/1/12 Drugs and Sex: Inseparable?
7/21/12 Going Versatile

 

My Life and Loves as a Hirsute Man

8/21/10 It’s All About The Fur
2/21/11 My Life as a Furry Guy
2/23/11 Furry Backs
2/25, 26/11 Hairy Men I Have Known, Loved and Even Slept With
6/14-16/11 My Month as a Rentboy
2/17/12 My 15 Minutes of Fame (More Like 57) In Porn
3/16/12 I’m An Older Gay Man Who Likes Older Guys But …
5/30,31;6/1/12 The Memorial Day Weekend Diary of a Pig
6/13/12 Hirsute Phobia
7/8, 9/12 The Two Most Sensual Hours in My Life With The Sexiest Man I’ve Ever Known
7/10, 11/12 Friday Night and Saturday Morning: More With The Sexiest Man I’ve Ever Known
8/17, 18/12 How My Last Blow-Out with The Sexiest Man in My Life Almost Became the Nightmare of My Life
9/11/11 9-11: I Was There.

Gay Personas

 4/3/11 Technos
4/5/11 Bears
4/7/11 Muscle Bears
8/20/10 The Belt Loop Boys
4/4/11 Peter Pans and Tinker Bells
4/8/11 Closet Cases
4/9/11 Bi’s
4/10/11 Extremos
4/6/11 Flickers
5/15/11 A Tale of Two Men
1/29/11 Party Boy
10/17/10 The Perfect Fuck
12/23/10 Airheads
12/1,3/10 This Dad Has Two Sons
1/17/11 On Your Knees: My Born Again Manhunt Hook-up
12/27-31/10 Meth Heads: Ode to Mitch
3/18/12 A Boy and His Dog
3/20/12 The 2012 Airhead of The Year Award
3/21/12 The New Age Flasher
3/26/12 Career Gays vs. Professional Gays
4/20/12 The Flypaper Boys
4/27/12 The Asshole of the Month Award
5/2/12 Klone Kevin
5/4/12 So What’s a Daddy Dick?
5/5/12 Heterosexists
6/21/12 Silent Sex: Making it with a Deaf Guy

 

 Relationships

For my blogs on Gay Marriage see “Gay Issues and Politics”

8/2310 “Seeking LTR”: You Sure About That?
2/14/11 Gay LTR’s: Fantasy or Fact?
2/18/11 Making Relationships Work: Do’s and Don’ts
9/25/10 Monogamy: Another Gay Myth
9/12/10 Signs Something’s Amiss (in Your LTR)
8/12/10 Fuck Buddies
2/16/11 Partners Vs. Fuck Buddies: Who’s Better?
2/19/11 Fuckin’ Around (and Married)
9/26, 27/10 Threesomes: Utterly Decadent or Somewhat Problematic?
2/20/11 So You’re Calling It Quits: Getting Out Gracefully
2/2/11 Boys Don’t Cry: Are We Adult Males or Love Sick Adolescent Girls?
3/31/12 Ten Reasons Why Taking My Partner to Key West Was A Mistake
4/8/12 Monogamy Double Talk
4/18/12 Honesty in Relationships
4/25/12 He’s There Somewhere. Waiting. Waiting for You.
7/22/12 Those Who Don’t Have an LTR Want One, Those That Do, Want Out
8/3/12  Excess Baggage

 

 Sex Slots: Playing The Web

3/19/11 The Web: The New Millennium’s Gay Addiction
7/28/10 Confessions of a Cyber-spike Addict
3/20/11 Cyberspikes: Almost As Good As You Know What
3/21, 22/11 What Works and Doesn’t in a Web Profile
10/20/10?? Family Albums
3/25/11 “Caution: You Have Just Entered The No Fuck Zone.”
3/23, 24/11 Hook-up Fuck-offs, Cyberstyle
3/26, 27/11 Cyber Mindfuckers
2/5/11 Will These Web Boys Shit or Get Off the Pot?
5/5/11 Reading Between The Lines
5/4/11 “BTW, I want let you know I’m Poz, if that’s OK with you”
5/1/11 Are The Hook-up Sites Getting Prudish?
9/4/10 Web Hook-ups from Hell: Cruising in Craig Country
1/16/12 Chat with Some Hunk in Dubai Lately?
3/26/12 Thank the Gay God For My Midnight IM Saviors
4/5/12 How To Reply to a Totally Unsolicited Web Hit
4/24/12 How NOT to Hit Up a Guy You Really Want on the Web
5/1/12 Get Ur &&;LA DY ##hOT 2niTE With a {tOOL th at deLIVERES
5/3/12 Hook-up Gems
5/4/12 Wireless Café
5/23/12 Hey Dude, You’re Fucken Hot, I’d Loving Getting Together But …
6/13/12 Front Page News in South Florida: Grindr!
6/27/12 Odd Man Out – More Web Weirdies
6/27/12 He Sounds Like A Great Guy, But …
6/29/12 The Web:A Numbers Game, & Like Vegas, the Odds Are Against You

 

Friends, Family and Holidays

8/17, 18/10 Friends of the Friendless
12/19/10 Friends, Vacation and Fucking
12/21/10 Why I Hate The Holidays
5/8/11 Memories of My Own “Mommie Dearest”
12/21/11 Christmas Cheer?
4/22, 23/12 When Alien Worlds Collide: Boring Suburban Relatives vs. Evil Urban Me
5/13/12 My Mother’s Day Royal Fuck-up
3/13/12 Dad: My First Sex Object
5/28/12 Remembering Dad on Memorial Day

The Wizard! The Wizard!: Gays and God

12/20 Yes, God Loves Us.
12/22 What If Jesus Were Bi?

 

Tripping: My Take on Some So-Called Gay Travel Hotspots

5/2/11 The Pig Vacation Planner
9/29, 10/1/10 San Francisco: Resting on Its Gay Laurels?
11/19-21/10 Key West Techno
12/11, 12/10 California Dreaming
4/15/11 Tampa and St. Pete’s
5/14/12 St. Pete’s Revisited
4/13/11 New Orleans
4/14/11 Chicago
7/14, 15/12 Montreal: Land of the Uncut 2010 vs. 2012
4/22/11 London, Paris
1/12/11 Seattle Seedy   
8/5-8/12 Cruising and Making It In Berlin

 Hangin’ in So Flo (South Florida)

 3/29/11 Hanging in SoFlo
10/16/11 Sebastian Beach, Fort Lauderdale’s Gay Sandbox
3/30, 31/11 Haulover: SoFlo’s Nude Beach
4/2/11 The Bar Scene for the Str8 Gay Man
1/10/11 Blowing A Load: Places to Have Sex (Legally) in Lauderdale

 

Florida’s Gay Campgrounds

2/05/12 Campground Cruising
11/5, 6/10 Cockteasing at Sawmill Campgrounds
7/5/12 No Life On Mars (Mars, Florida’s Gay Campgrounds That Is Is)
12/12/11;7/28/12 Vitambi Springs

 

What Now?

27 Aug

I write this from my summer home – George’s and my summer home in Dingmans Ferry, PA, loosely the Poconos, contemplating quietly, with no bar specials or sex club leather nights or “I want It now” web postings to distract me, my life torn between the two worlds I live in.

One world is here more spiritually than even physically with George, who I’ve known two thirds of my life, once a handsome and hunky Omar Sharif look-a-alike,  now old in body and in outlook, obstinate, uncompromising, arrogant, argumentative, and judgmental,  yet the most masculine gay man I will ever know, conservative in thought like me but utterly unbending to the new ways and views of this Brave New Gay World, and suffering from macular degeneration that threatens his sight though his rigid ego won’t allow him to admit he still needs me. As I, in some strange way, still need him.

My other world is 1340 miles away in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Gaytown, U.S.A.,  Home of the Beautiful People,  some benign good fucks, others devils wearing Prada, steeped in unholy sex and holiest of holy  drugs, searching for playmates to drag down into hell with them.

So which world do I live in? Which world will I choose? Or which world have I already chosen?

I’ll be up here until Labor Day and have decided, after two years, to bring “Confessions” to an abrupt  end – at least for now. I’ve said all I wanted to say about the foibles and fallacies of gay culture as I see it, and have shared a lifetime’s worth of experiences, some decades old, some as fresh as yesterday, with you my audience out there in the depths of cyberspace. Because right now I just need to think – think quietly whether George comes back with me to Florida and we lead the stereotypical  suburban life so many of our brothers share – and some even relish in  – or whether I move on and continue to bed down with an occasional pretty man in between all the shit, just to make me still feel desired, still feel wanted.

After all, isn’t feeling wanted what’s it all about?

Or is it?

From Guest Blogger Edmon Armstrong: “Is Your Gaydar Working? No?”

27 Aug

Gaydar: A colloquialism referring to the intuitive ability of a person to assess others’ sexual orientation as gay, bisexual or heterosexual.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t do any of that. I am somewhat of a people watcher. I sit in the mall all the time just looking at people walk by. I can tell when someone has a medical issue or disability, needs to pee, needs to fart, hell, even when someone is horny. The one thing I need the most to make it in this world is the one thing I don’t have.

A Gaydar.

I don’t know how many times I have wasted my time at a club, gym or school cruising a guy only for him to end up straight. How in the hell am I to know your straight if you’re in a gay club with a 40 dollar haircut and smell like  Bed Bath and Beyond. I love the fact that straight guys feel comfortable to come to a gay club, but can someone put a damn button on them saying “I’m straight.”

The gym is just confusing for me. I try to put out all the gay matting calls when there. I try the look, you know what I mean: I want to take you out to dinner look (not the; I want to fuck you look/ I am so going to kill you later look). They respond  with a puzzled look on their face as to way you keep checking them out, for the guys in the gym looking to show off they get off on it, but they are not gay. I also try doing the workout and sweat technique. I work out fast and sweat hard, you have to get those muscles out there (mostly every person looks good when wet; Most). All this ever gets me is to the point of passing out on the floor (if I can make it to the locker room I just sit in a stall for a min or 10).

School on the other hand is a lot more open for young gay guys to find their way. Ok, I’m just fucking with you, this is even harder than the gym and club combined. In our ever changing life’s gay and straight lines are completely blurred in high school and college. I know you would say do stuff gay guys are in to, tried that, mostly straight. I liked this guy named J (for this part of my life no full names) who whenever we were alone we had this chemistry you could cut with a knife. I have had straight guys who are very touchy feely and even flirt with you from time to time, but yet again they are not going home with you. End the end like so many gay movies in the main stream. The gay boy ends up alone, but he learned his lesson.

I don’t know what people with gaydar see: body language, hand movement, clothes, hair, voice or shoes. All I know is that I am a gay boy lost in the very small gay forest. I envy our straight counter parts in one way; they can walk down the street without a care in the world and hit on who ever walks by. For us gay in this world we have to pick and choice when to put out a matting call because ours could lead to a bashing and we don’t want that.

Editor’s note from RP Andrews: I’ve addressed the growing “blending” of the gay scene that was once a secret society a few times in my past blogs; Edmon confirms the negatives of what happens when everything is so open – maybe a little too open.  

You can find more of Edmon’s perspective at his own blogsite, edmonarmstrong.blogspot.com. Or tweet him at Writing Boy@EdmonArmstrong.

My Last Blow-Out with The Sexiest Man in My Life Almost Became the Nightmare of My Life, Part 2

26 Aug

There were only two people – an elderly couple – sitting in the ER waiting room when I arrived, dressed in baggy shorts and an oversize button down shirt I usually only wore to cover up my leather harness while I drove over to the Ramrod on a Saturday night.

I was coolly clinical with the perky black registrar at the desk and white lied about suffering from erectile dysfunction, and how the pills did nothing but give me a headache, and how a friend had prescription medication injections for his penis and how I had asked him to try it on me. Only, only what should have been a six hour junket had turned into a 10, going on 11 hour nightmare. My dick hurt bad – real bad.

I repeated my tale for the intake nurse who said they would have to call in a urologist. Then she led me to an exam room and instructed me to strip, leaving a hospital gown on the side of the exam table. Several other hospital personnel – a patent rep and a staff doctor useless for anything more than asking questions came in over the next 45 minutes while, still smacked out, I sat, stood, sat, stood, trying to find a comfortable position for my aching dick but to no avail. Twice, I even ventured out of the room, oblivious to the bump under my gown, to ask if they had heard from the urologist.

“He’s on his way.”

From where? Bulgaria? I think they were taking secret delight in watching this stupid bastard suffer.

Finally, finally he arrived, looking like an absent minded professor, bald, egged head, with dark horn rimmed glasses and gawky. He spent the first ten minutes that felt like another eternity going through some fucken medical history form – Jesus !  Then he had me lie on the exam table as he and the nurse – female nurse – took a gander at my never–quit pecker.  I was still high from last night’s slam, but quickly brought up all the Benadryl I had swallowed which seemed to work as a good cover story to explain my erratic behavior and non-stop gibberish.

Now I confess I’ve had my share of Nazi sex fantasies, you know, being tied to a cross bar butt naked while hot, young, blond, blue-eyed German soldiers play with my privates under some evil commandant’s orders. But this – this made my fantasies look like a Shirley Temple flick.

After scrutinizing my dilemma, Herr Professor sat down beside the exam table and gave me his pronouncement.

There‘s blood trapped in the chambers of your penis. I will first have to drain the excess blood, then fill the chambers with saline solution. Hopefully that should diminish your erection.”

Then without a pause, he added the kicker: “This procedure will leave you permanently impotent.”

Crazy as it sounds, I actually felt half relieved by his life sentence. I could finally free myself of my addiction to the hook-up sites and hang up my jock-strap. This insatiable hunt which was only leading me into darker and darker realms of depravity would finally come to an end.

He had shaved my pubes, dick and balls and my upper thighs (remember, I’m a hairy guy) and was ready to numb up my dick for the “final solution” when it happened.

“Well, you’re a lucky man,” he proclaimed genuinely happy about what he saw. “It looks like it’s going down. We may not have to perform the surgery after all.”

Had the Benadryl finally kicked in?

Thank God for Walgreen’s.

For the next hour, I lay there, an icepack on my crotch, as I contemplated the insane merry-go-round ride I had been on the past few weeks, recognizing that if this phallic fiasco wasn’t a wake-up call, I was dead. But through all this doom and gloom of what might have been, I still got a chuckle when I overheard the nurse who had been in the room mutter to her cohorts at the nurses station just outside my half open exam room door, “He’s got a nice one.”

Back home later that morning, I called Bill to let him know I had avoided the knife and what the urologist had described would have been a “bloody, very bloody procedure,” then  went on about finishing up the preparations for my trip up to the Poconos and George. I had planned to leave the following morning – Sunday morning – and now it looked like I still could. I first thought about canceling a rendezvous in Jacksonville on my way up with a web fuck buddy of mine but then thought I would use the opportunity to test whether King Peter was still King, having suffered the most hellish night of his realm. And if he didn’t perform his royal duties, well, so be it. I deserved it.

Cleaning up my bedroom from the fuckfest of the night before – it seemed like it had happened centuries ago – I found that Todd had left behind a pile of accruements –  cockrings, leather gloves, and my favorite oddity, a gas mask for inhaling his home made poppers – and I e’d him without divulging my little episode in the ER that I’d bring the shit with me later that afternoon to that Celebration of Life for his old pal, Don.

The house – a million dollar baby right on a canal with a huge private dock – was loaded with older gay men like me when I arrived about 6, and Todd, the only one dressed in a suit and tie and sweating like a pig, made it a point to give me a hug when he saw me. Interestingly, Brent never showed, but I wasn’t about to open a can of worms and call him to see if he had suffered a fate similar to mine.

I didn’t want to know.

A large blow-up of the late Man of The Hour stood on the fireplace mantel. I instantly recognized him.

I chatted with a few brittle types, and then with Don’s fiftyish younger sister, who lived outside Atlanta where she raised horses. Finally, I was able to retrieve Todd from the maddening crowd and asked if we could talk privately. We snuck out to the empty patio where I relayed to him my tale of terror. He seemed unruffled by what the urologist had said to me about the procedure rendering me permanently impotent as if he had heard it all before. Now I wondered if his own persistent erection issues – even after he shot his own dick up – were the result more of him having gone under the knife rather than the smack.

“I gave you and Brent 2 cc. Next time, I’ll cut it back to 1.5.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I lied. I had vowed to myself I would never play with fire again. If Viagra couldn’t cut it, so be it.

Back inside, a tall, thin older guy with a mop of hair that was a cross between Einstein and Harpo Marx, asked if I went to the Zoo, the old Gold’s gym. No, I replied, I went to LA Fitness, but the query had served its purpose as an icebreaker.

We soon drifted as only gay men could to what our preferences were in guys. Ernie liked ‘em hairy and built and pointed to his partner three conversations away. I took that as a cue to hold up my polo shirt.

“Think I qualify?” I asked.

His eyes lit up as he scanned my hairy chest and abs.

“Sure do,” was his reply.

“So how do you know Todd?” I asked innocently.

“Oh, Todd gets around. He and I and my partner Bob have played a few times. He’s one hunk of man.”

“Sure is.”

“And you – how do you know Todd?” he asked in a patronizing tone.

It was my golden moment to lay it on thick.

“Oh we’ve played too, in fact, he and I had a threesome with a mutual hottie just last night.”

Ernie took the cue and excused himself to the bar.

I spent the end of the evening talking to some female friend of Don’s sister who was enchanted by all my political pontificating.

“You ever consider running for office?” she said.

I laughed.

“No,” she insisted, “You sound more intelligent than most of the politicos out there right now.”

Just then Todd walked into our conversation.

“Do you know your friend here isn’t just good looking, but smart too?” she exclaimed.

“Sure do, “replied Todd, putting his hand around my shoulders.

Then the two of them began to commiserate abut Don and their reminiscing quickly turned to tears. Todd, my butch, incredibly handsome leather man with an insatiable addiction to drugs and sex was crying like a baby.

A few minutes later as the two of us left in his truck so he could drive me to mine a block away and discreetly retrieve his toys, I voiced my opinion that I had recognized Don from his picture and that I was sure we had fucked around in the bath house years before.

“No surprise to me, “said Todd who just moments before had been crying his eyes out over his dearly departed pal. “Don was a pig. Capital P-I-G.”

As I handed him his goody bag from my car, Todd bid me farewell, and added, “Text me when you get to PA. I want to know you made it in OK.”

I nodded I would. Funny coming from a fuck buddy I thought. Or did he feel just a little guilty about my penis crisis? But I was an adult male and had nobody to blame about what happened than myself.

My Jacksonville web bud, Terry, whom I connected with the following evening, had once been something of a heart throb. We had met on the web and first played a year ago on a similar trip up to PA. We were clones – short, nicely built and very furry – and I invited him down for long weekend where people instantly took us for lovers. This time, though, the blush was off the rose. He had gained weight and looked his age, 49. But with a Viagra coursing through my loins and hope in my brain, I was determined to make him feel good, and happily fucked him awhile til Mr. Peter began to fade, more I think from the long drive and the fact I was, well, bored with Terry, who in the end was just another bottom who did little else but shove his ass in my face, than from the ordeal my dick had gone through a mere 36 hours before.

Two days later, settled in PA, George already nitpicking me about leaving a half empty water bottle from my trip in the frig, and complaining for the two hundred fifth time that our next door neighbor was running a meth lab that was slowly poisoning us, I texted Todd a non-committal message.

“Hey buddy. Arrived in PA yesterday, Hope all is well with you. Ray.”

Next day, I got my reply.

“Was waiting to hear from you.  Glad you’re OK. See you soon.”

Labor Day, my destined return date, was only seven weeks away. Would I be a changed man by then?

How My Last Blow-Out with The Sexiest Man in My Life Almost Became the Nightmare of My Life

25 Aug

For those of you who think I have a great imagination and make up all these hot sexual encounters like the ones described in “The Two Most Sensual Hours in My Life” (7/8-9/12), or “Friday Night and Saturday Morning” (7/10-11/12), you’re wrong. Everything, including what I’m about tell you is pretty much as it happened, with little changes for dramatic license.  About the only thing I change are the names – some of the time.

It was supposed to be my last fuckfest before my departure for the summer to our vacation home in PA’s Poconos and George (yes, despite my protests, I haven’t left him yet). My beach buddies jokingly preferred to my PA hideaway as the Betty Ford Clinic for Lauderdale Sex Addicts and they were right: no bars to speak of, no sex clubs, no book stores or truck stops, and tricks on the web were scarcer than coke at the end of the Winter Party. So, having had both Todd of “The Two Most Sensual Hours of My Life” fame (posts 7/8-11/12) and Brent, an ex-military, lightly muscular, lightly fuzzy fiftyish close second and versatile bottom who had been trying to connect with one another, my solution to the happy dilemma was to have a threesome at my place where I would underwrite the party favors (don’t ask how much) – shots in the dick included. After all, both of them had been product-tested by me (I had even given one another great references when I played with them separately), and even if I ended up on the sidelines watching them, shall we say, get acquainted, having two naked hunks in my bedroom with me, all of us high on smack, and with three dicks as hard as the Rock of Gibraltar – what more of a send-off to Nowhere, PA could a boy want?

Brent arrived a few minutes early but I could see by the grin on his face when Todd came in that I deserved a finder’s fee. We dispensed with the pharmalogical segment of the night by 10:30 (though their chat about their respective, repeated stays in drug rehab bothered me) and soon after we were immersed in undoubtedly the hottest threesome I ever experienced in my gay career. More times than not, I’ve been the sex toy to rekindle a stale relationship; in others, I’m the star as I play with one guy as the other plays voyeur. But this Friday night and this threesome were from a different planet. We were into one another almost equally, one guy tonguing the other’s butt hole while he sucked the third’s cock, or Brent fucking Todd while I fucked Brent. Hell, once, Brent and I had both our cocks up Todd’s butthole at the same time, a very first for even this jaded, around-the-block-a-few-times fag. We were in lust, incredible, utter lust in one another and it showed. About the only bizarre thing that night – at least up to that point – was the nature of our conversations. Other guys in these strange Kama Sutra positions would be spitting out four letter words like a Porn Film Script Writing 101 thesis, but instead we chatted on in smack-speed-talk about the last political gaff or what was on sale at Target, all while we were eating dick and fucking ass in the most delectably decadent ways.

After going at for over three hours, Todd declared he was hungry (slamming totally killed my appetite for days, another sign to me he was lifer when it came to shooting up) and while I went at my third round fucking Brent, Todd left the room to order pizza. The delivery guy either took no notice to Todd answering the door in his jockstrap, after all this was Lauderdale, or was too plain to invite in. We soon were munching our slices of extra cheese and guzzling down Coke in my kitchen, our three hard cocks waiting to be served when both of them almost on cue announced they were done for the night. Brent said he was bushed, Todd that he would be semi-officiating the following afternoon at a Celebration of Life memorial open house for a 75 year old close friend of his named Don, who had died just the week before of lung cancer, at the old man’s Victoria Park – smell money – home . (Had he been a “benefactor,” of Todd’s, I wondered?) He even invited both Brent and I to come: “The Alibi will be catering and they’ll be an open bar.” And so at 2 am I was alone, two slices of stale pizza sitting on my stove, still horny.

And still hard.

Cynical me thought that they were actually planning a rendezvous that night to continue the evening’s fuckfest as a dynamic twosome, but if so, so what? I had had my fun and my money’s worth even if it meant scouring the hook-up sites in the middle of the night to find one last ass to fuck before Mr. Peter thankfully called it a night.

I hit up over a dozen guys who were online and supposedly “looking,” but no takers. It was a Friday night, damn it, so were my hunches about the web correct, and most of these guys just on to dirty talk and j-o? I finally nailed a 39 year smooth Latin who was in Miami but wanted his Daddy bad.  “OK if I party?” he asked on his next to last email to me before hitting the road.  “NP” was the understatement of the night from me who was still flying high, real high.

His profile said 39, his pics said cute, but the reality that walked into my house at close to 4 a.m. was closer to 50, tired and loose. But no matter. After I had had the best of Lauderdale, even God would have looked like an also-ran.

At first Meeko really sounded like he was into it and my hard dick big time. (Gee, drugs will do that to ya, won’t they?) And we went at it for well over an hour. Not able to get off fucking him, I asked if he could suck me off to which he obligingly lay back and worked my dick tenderly with his mouth.  But I was beginning to get worried. I had remembered earlier how Brent had complained his dick hurt if I bent it at a certain angle, and now my dick was beginning to ache – bad. Todd had given us the shots in our dicks around 10:30 which meant they should have worn off (as they had my last two times I had done the needle with Todd) by 4. But here it was almost 6 and my cock remained as hard as a thirteen year adolescent boy’s.  Something was wrong.

Realizing all the mouth action in the world wouldn’t get me off, I told Meeko very nicely that I had had it for the night. But instead of taking the cue to leave like most tricks would, he suddenly switched on some persecution complex, complaining how he had treated me right, had come all the way from Miami – high – and how I was an ungrateful bastard to reject him like this. He who just a year before had had major surgery for colon cancer (Now, that explained the Frankenstein scars across his abdomen – but he still liked to get fucked – odd, huh?). All my pleas that it wasn’t him, it was me, went nowhere. I had only wanted a hole, not a live demo on psychoses. But I realized it was better to say nothing – why throw gasoline on the fire like bringing up his 20 year profile pics  – and finally, finally, he collected his things and left, continuing to mutter to the door what a real fuck I was underneath my cool veneer.

I played with myself another hour, watching x-tube.com, til I came, but my erection remained unabated. I remembered when I had left Todd’s place a few weeks ago how he had mentioned Benadryl was good at bringing the hard-on down, and in fact had given me two for the road. But I had no Benadryl in the house and instead devoured what cold med tabs I had lying around. I waited a half hour and when nothing changed I called my Bud Bill around 8. He knew all about what I had planned for Friday night. After all, what’s the point of having a threesome if you can’t brag about it to your friends?

“You got any Benadryl?” I asked when he picked up the phone.

“No, why?” he said, obviously still groggy-eyed.

“My dick won’t go down.”

“Shit. How long?”

“Todd gave me the shot 9 – no 10 hours ago.”

“Shit.” There was a dead pause in his voice. ”You better go the ER at Holy Cross. They – they might – have to drain the excess blood out of your dick. You – you want me to take you?”

“No, no, I got myself in this mess, I’ve got to face it myself.”

On my way to the hospital – 20 minutes away – I stopped at Walgreen’s, bought a box of Benadryl and popped the tabs – eight all total –like candy on my way over, hoping for a fucken miracle.

Tomorrow: ER Nightmare

The Comings and Goings of Cumming

24 Aug

Funny how no two guys cum quite the same way. I don’t mean the mechanics. No, what I’m talking about here are the special effects.

First, you’ve got the silent cummers. Those who grew up in strict Catholic households and disciplined themselves to shoot in silence. By the time you realize he’s sprung his load, he’s got his shoes on.

Then there’s the dirty talkers, straight from a student script of the USC Film School’s Porn Screen Writing 101. “Fuck yea – yea, man, here it comes, man, ready for it fucker?– Huh, buddy, huh? HUH?” And he keeps that truck stop buddy motif going right to the last drop.

Then you’ve got the St. Vitas’ Dance Boys. You think the guy may be having a stroke. His body is quivering, his eyes are rolling into the back of his head, and he’s barely breathing. And all you’re wondering is how you’re going to explain it to the paramedics, or worse, your partner who just returned from Walmart and thought you were cleaning the oven while he was gone.

Finally, you’ve got the screamers. No matter how butch they’ve been up to now, and I don’t care if they’ve fucked the shit out of you for the last 45 minutes, when it’s their moment for that DeMille close-up, they’re screeching at the top of their lungs like some silly adolescent girl happily losing her virginity. You either hope your very straight Bible Belt neighbors aren’t home, or thank God you live in a gay ghetto.

But somehow, no matter how we cum, just about every one of us will give out a giggle of relief after it’s all done.

Is the sexual climax God’s ultimate joke on us?

Tomorrow: How My Last Blow-Out with The Sexiest Man in My Life Almost Became the Nightmare of My Life

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