Is-In-The- Flesh Sex Losing Out to Cyber Sex?

The results of two polls recently conducted by a daddy site caught my eye. Sure, maybe they’re not scientific and perhaps even skewed to an older demographic, but right now, there ain’t much else out there to gear behavioral trends, so here goes.

The first asked, “how many guys did you have sex with in 2011?” Since the poll didn’t, I would define “sex” as anything from jerking off in front of a guy to sticking your fist up his ass. Of the 1500 guys who responded, only 15% boasted they were pigs with a scorecard of any where between 25 and 100+ men for the year. Half said their body count was a 10 guys or less for the year, and over 10% admitted they had had none. Now, as I’ve said a previous blog, the average scorecard for us Fort Lauderdale boys, including web “dates” and sex club encounters is minimally around 2 a week, but admittedly that’s assuming you’re assertive and persistent in your hunting. But, OK, let’s just take this 100 guys a year as a typical gay urban stat for those of us in places like NYC, Chicago, LA, San Francisco and south Florida. If we fall in that 15% pig category, what about the rest of us guys out there in the hinterlands of America?

My conclusion? We ain’t getting much.

Now contrast this with our second poll which asked, “do you like cyber sex?” which I would define as whacking off while you chat dirty with a fellow profiler, drool over his pics, or even do it in real time via camming or skyping. Of the 1400 guys who responded, only 10% admitted they loved cybersex; half said they were not into it at all, and a third admitted it “can be fun once in awhile.”

As my friends in accounting say, something doesn’t foot. I say that because I feel cybersex is a much bigger gainer in the spunk department than this poll stat would indicate, based largely on my own observations playing the web. Eight out of ten of the guys who hit me up or me them who I think are available and interested and who I carry on a conversation with either start with the dirty talk which, in the end, goes nowhere; or admit all they want to want to do is trade pics like baseball cards. What, so they can print them out and use them as wallpaper for their bathroom? I don’t think so.

Now I can understand some hottie in Missoula, Montana (like my buddy Jay)  or Baghdad, Iran (like that anonymous hairy built motherfucker who asked me if I skyped) wanting to cybersex, but as I’ve lamented before, pinning townies or vacationers down to connect – in person – is becoming harder and harder (no pun intended). In just the last several weeks, I’ve had close encounters of the gay kind supposedly all lined all and ready to pop when either the guy does not follow up or just disappears off the radar screen like some plane in the Bermuda Triangle.

If the average gay guy is maybe having one tryst a month and only j-oing on line with a guy once in awhile, are we becoming a bunch overly selective snobs, AIDS paranoids, porn addicts or – perish the thought – celibates?

If so, I think a lot of guys’ homo licenses should be revoked. That is until old age or lost libido does it automatically.

BTW, if you’re in the mood for some raunchy gay tales with a film noir flair, check out my other site,; or my e-books on’s Kindle or Barnes and Nobles’ ( Nook under me, RP Andrews.

2 thoughts on “Is-In-The- Flesh Sex Losing Out to Cyber Sex?

  1. cliff

    You are so right Ray..I want to visit Ft Lauderdale and I sure as hell would love to have you in bed fucking me!!! I will not even consider jerking with someone in front of the computer when “touching and tasting and smelling” is so much part of it!!!

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