Here in Lauderdale, the annual Florida Gay Rodeo’s Sunshine Stampede is back once again for the weekend at the Bergeron Rodeo Grounds just outside of town in Davie. Great, I guess, if you’re a rodeo devotee, but a friend of mine and I, who only mount hairy asses, went to last year’s shindig and found it a total bore. Badly staged, they started the supposed action with some tweet of a minor event instead of some colossal kick-off, and the breaks between events were long and deadly. Maybe that’s how rodeos are run but if you trying to capture a bunch of gay cityslickers who finally have a place to wear that ridiculous cowboy hat they bought two vacations ago, you gotta glitz it up.
Half way through, after a hairy trick of mine from the week before wanted to take a pic of me shirtless for his family album, we left. Even the eye candy outside in the vendor area where they sold western wear, and hotdogs and drinks at prices that rivaled even Disney World, had gotten tired. The next day when I spoke to my across-the-street neighbors whom I had run into at the rodeo, they told me they had stayed for the whole thing which came to a complete halt when some cowboy got thrown off his horse and hurt badly.
But we all know that hosting the rodeo mean more than just the rodeo. In fact, the rodeo itself is just a gimmick for every bar, restaurant and strip club in town to exploit, and exploit they did big time, even the twinkish Alibi and, most especially, our country western bar, Scandals. Though for every genuine Marlboro man you would have paid for to lasso in bed, there were ten guys decked out in ten gallon hats who should have first lost the ten gallons swimming around their waists.
Hey, but the drink specials were great!