If things are going well, my next move will vary. In fact what I do next is the based on intuition, confidence, being able to read the guy well. What I do is somehow work in to the conversation that I am ‘into guys’. Note, I don’t say I am gay. Never say that. That word has a big red warning sign. When you admit this, don’t admit it as if also implying you are into him. Just say it as if you are being honest about who you are and about your life. After all, the two of you are kinda buddies now. Then follow this comment up with something like ‘I hope that does not make you uncomfortable’. Leave it at that. Look forward, take a few sips of your beer, and then try to continue the good conversation you’ve been having with this guy.
First and foremost, if he seems disgusted, makes negative comments, says he does not believe in that life style, that he voted for George Bush, etc., then disengage. Say nothing more and order yourself another beer. When comfortable, head out and home. Do not try to argue with him; don’t talk about gay rights; don’t talk like you want to change his attitude. If anything, you just want to apologize and disengage.
But if he is not disgusted then what you hope for is the flip side of disgust. In every case I’ve picked up a straight guy at a bar, it is the guy that will initiate the follow-up of your telling him you are ‘into guys’. Usually they will say something about knowing someone that is gay. Or they will say they are OK with it. Or they will ask you about your life. They won’t dwell on it, but they will try to make you feel comfortable. If you get a straight guy in a bar to this point, then you are about 50% of the way to having sex with him. What ever you do, don’t start telling him about your life; how you came out; about your boyfriend or lifestyle. What ever you do, don’t turn the focus of the conversation to about you.
At this point you still have a long way to go, and your chances of success are still very slim.
The next progression is harder, so you have to read the person really well to try to figure out where his mind and attitude are at. I try to figure out if their mind is spinning. I try to figure out if I’ve got them curious. At this point the golden question I am hoping for is for them to ask me if I ever had sex with a woman. Most will. I answer honestly, and then I ask them if they ever did anything with another guy or were ever curious. I also then follow-up with a phrase such as ‘I don’t mean to offend you, but I am just curious’.
Again, this is where it gets tricky. I usually do a lot of apologizing, and saying I don’t mean to be nosy, etc. But as the conversation progresses I try to turn it to the subject of his sex life. Remember, this is not about you so don’t go on about yourself.
In nearly every case I picked up a straight guy in a bar the guy will eventually admit some detail such as (a) he has not had sex in a long while, (b) he does not get it as much as he likes from his wife or girlfriend, (c) their wife or girlfriend hate doing certain things (such as giving blow jobs). During my experiences, in three cases I got the guys to admit they like having a finger or tongue up their asses.
Eventually I work my way into saying something like ‘Look, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I will admit that I would be into you. So if you ever want to do something, you should just let me know’. Don’t gross the guy out by giving any details.
At this point variations of several things will happen:
- The straight guy will immediately chuckle and say thanks for no thanks. He will say that guys are not his thing. You should just chuckle back and drop the subject.
- The straight guy will be cold silent and be annoyed. He will make it absolutely clear he his not interested, and then he will disengage with you. Make sure you are covered and can easily exit if he goes off the wall. Chances are he will not. After all, you and he have been talking all evening. If he was really negative, he would have been pissed when you told him you were ‘into guys’.
- The guy might start getting quiet. Don’t take this as a negative sign, because he is thinking. He is digesting the thought. Give him a chance to ask questions. I would not hurt to repeat your interests.
- Sometimes the guy will fairly quickly take you up on you offer. He will ask if you have a place to go. He may even suggest the parking lot. He will want it right then and there.
There are other approaches worth trying. Some times you need to give the guy an ‘excuse’ to go with you. For example, if the guy has been drinking, offer to drive him home. I once offered the guy to sober up at my house by playing a game of pool. Once at my house he asked for another beer.
If you do get the guy to agree, then strike while the iron is hot. Don’t make a date for the next day or later in the evening. If you do I guarantee that any action were hoping for will never happen. You need to take advantage of the moment.
Once you get this guy’s dick out, from my experience you can expect one of two things:
- They either want a quick blow job. They may even reciprocate with painful tugs on your cock, or a few very poorly executed sucks.
- They will go hog wild and want to try it all. This has happened to me only 3 times, and I will say that these episodes have been some of the best sex I have ever had. I think these guys feel that they’ve come this far, they may as well got nuts and get all their curiosities out. He will want you to do things to him that he cannot get his girl to do for him. He will also want to do what he may never have a chance (or nerve) to do again in his life.
Don’t attack the guy or be too aggressive; and don’t initiate kissing (though I’ve found that guys who get all worked up will sometimes go crazy kissing). There is a high degree of probability that you are the first guy he has been with during his adult life. Also, don’t take your time. He does not want to be with you for a long time.
One other observation is that the guy may be shaking. He will be ultra nervous at first to the point that he cannot even talk because his mouth is so dry. He usually cannot even hold his hand still because of the nerves. Try to calm him the hell down, but be careful of him backing out if he gains his senses back. Answer: Offer him one last beer.
Also, remember that this is most likely the guy’s first experience. So he may be disgusted by a lot of stuff. Don’t force him and don’t take his repulsion personal. Just go with the flow and give him a good time.
In Case Things Go Wrong
I am not sure what advice to give if things go wrong. I’ve never had a bad experience once the guy has agreed to go with me. This is why it is important to read the guy well during the evening. However, it is entirely possible. My strongest suggestion is to not be drunk and to always have your wits about you. Don’t force anything. Read the guy really good. By the time you tell him you are ‘into guys’ you should have a good feeling about him. Oh… and don’t be wearing flip flops that you cannot run in.
Above all else, remember you are not in a gay bar picking up a gay guy. The rules are different. You are playing as a ‘visitor’ and not as the ‘home’ team. Know your place.