The Memorial Day Weekend Diary of a Pig

Having decided to stay in town – my town being Fort Lauderdale – for the Memorial Day weekend, I set as my singular and unabashed objective to have as much sex as my body, dick, and Viagra could muster. Easier said than done you say? Not when you’re obsessive/compulsive like me. I was going to have a good time in spite of the shitheads I know I would encounter, and in spite of, most of all, my occasional “I’m not up for it” attitude.

Friday I spent at Sebastian Beach, our gay sandbox, alone for a change since both my beach buddies were tied up with family, Bill with his Wall Street son, Jim and Jim’s live-in girlfriend in from NYC, Jason with his sister from Denver. It was a gorgeous summery day after a week of non-stop thunderstorms, and by the sheer number of guys lying half-naked on the sand, the pale skin of some of them, and the chatter about flight times and shitty weather back in Philly or NYC, I figured rightly there would be a lot of new meat in town for the weekend. Whether they would be available or coupled like crazy glue to their buddies or partners, however, was another story.

That night I bypassed our local bear bar, Bill’s, and its Chatty Cathy cliques for what is always my Friday night main event, Slammers, our local sex club. It was doing brisk business by the time I arrived at around quarter of ten, but the crowd, some regulars like me, some new out-of-town faces, was a bit tight assed about getting action. Either guys expect too much, even when they may have little to offer in return, or they have not had enough experience in man-to-man sex to know what to do. But I managed to lasso a few mouths in the glory hole section and hit the jackpot with a big, lumbering guy who resembled an Igor, not my usual turn-on, but who had a great dick to keep happy and loved my fur.

By the time I had wiped off my dick for the last time that night with my T and had zipped up, it was 11:30 and already too late to sneak a peek at Bill’s. So I headed for Ramrod, our local leather bar, waltzed around, got a couple of crotch gropes and tit pulls from a few drunks while I was having my Bud Lite nightcap and was home by 12:30.

When I got home and flipped on the hook-up sites like I always do to see who loved me before I hit the bed, a young, super hot, smooth, tight bodied, clean cut guy almost instantly hit me up on Daddyhunt. My dick and I thought we were going to be a happy threesome til he threw out what has become the almost predictable question from the under 30 crowd, “You pnp?”

Delete went my hard-on.

Tomorrow: Saturday double dipping.

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