Lauderdale’s Top Gay “Professions”

No wonder most of the gay money down in South Florida is Yankee, Mid West, or Left Coast dollars from auto mechanics, doctors, teachers, small business owners, lawyers, engineers and the like who earn their keep in Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Columbus or Boise. That’s because so many of the gay boys living here have what I would classify as pretend jobs. Here’s my take on the top gay Lauderdale “professions”:

Personal trainer (I think there are more personal trainers than trainees)

Nutritionist (pushing under-the-counter steroids to the gym bunnies)

Deep tissue masseur (real deep)

Musician (like running the karaoke at a local watering hole, straight or gay)

Hair Stylist (like I can’t give myself a buzz cut?)

Fashion consultant (selling overpriced bikinis at Gaymart)

Entertainer (like a once-a-week drag show at the Alibi or dancer at Boardwalk, an all male strip joint)

Handyman (as long as the job doesn’t involve more than a screwdriver or a broom)

Painter (like in house)

Exotic Bird Handler (selling finches at Walmart)

Interior decorator (isn’t it great pissing away somebody else’s money on dust collectors?)

Retail manager ( like for Dollar General)

Personal Companion (like in being kept as long as you grease the wheels on his walker)

And last but not least:

Escort.

Finally some honesty!

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