Those Notorious Hook-up Sites

As down I am on the hook-up sites, I have to confess, I get most of my sex off them, at least quality sex, at least some of the time, in contrast to the mostly drive-by, hit and run shit I encounter at the sex clubs. But having played these electronic sex slot machines (you never know who’s gonna come up) for years, I’m convinced seven out of ten of the guys on it are on it either for social networking (which was not these sites’ original intentions) or for virtual sex and have no intentions of ever pressing the flesh. For the latter group, it’s all about the camming, the dirty talk, the hard cock or luscious ass or penetration pics and a convenient cum rag. I’m being a bastard when I say this, but I think this also includes once handsome guys now ravaged by AIDS, or just plain old Father Time, who are living their former persona vicariously through pics of what they looked like in their glory days, making guys think they’re ready to hop into their bed but knowing they never will. They always have an excuse why they can’t connect – out of town guests, family, leaving on a trip, cleaning their goldfish tank, etc.

So now you’re down to the three who may, I say, may be available. Of the three, two are either out of town (like in Cambodia), and have no intention of ever visiting Florida (“but if you’re ever in Peoria …”) or not your type. (How come I say I want hairy, in-shape masculine guys 35 to 55 and I get smooth eighteen year olds? Has our education system failed us that bad that guys can’t even read hook-up profiles?)

But don’t despair! That one guy out of ten who you like, who likes you, and who sounds compatible is – lo and behold – available! You open the door and yea, the guy looks just like his pics, sounds just as hot as when you spoke to him on the phone, but the chemistry just isn’t there. For in the end, webdates are still blind dates.

Bottom line, maybe one or two out of the one of ten ends up being satisfying sex, or fuck buddy material. Or more.

Given all that, how would I rate the websites I’m familiar with?

Manhunt: the most eclectic with guys of all ages and types, and the one whose membership blows every other site out of the water. Also the site that out-of-towners coming in town to play use the most. I love to watch how MH’s banner boasting the number of men online at any given moment fluctuates throughout the day like the Dow Jones averages. At the same time, MH is chock full of the super ego “my shit don’t stink … I’ll wait for God … thanks but I don’t think we’re a match” guys even if objectively when you study their profiles and look at their pics you suspect they have one of those fun house mirrors in their bedroom.

Daddyhunt: Here’s where you’ll find the more seasoned, rough and ready rebel boys, personally more my kind of man, though its membership numbers pale against Manhunt’s. Also, often when I’m on DH, there are a lot more dads looking than hunters. Hey guys, two dads can have fun together, too, you know.

Daddydater: Just as its name says, it’s full of hot profiles of hot daddies and their equally hot admirers across the country and around the world. Plus it’s got places for “I want it now” want ads and posting your own blogs, and it runs weekly polls on a variety of man4man subjects, frivolous and serious. So what’s not to like.

Bear411: Yea, a lot of hairy, beefy guys but also a fair share of Jennie Craig failures, though B411 has done well by me. But it’s also the biggest I think on social networking and, sorry guys, I’m not a chatter. (That’s why you got Facebook, boys.) My whole reason to be on any of these sites is to get sex. Period. Also, a major technical shortcoming is the fact you can’t save or copy messages like you can on MH and DH so you’ve got to make sure you jot down the guy’s screen name or phone number before you click off; otherwise your potential sex for the night is lost in cyberspace.

Silver Daddy: where the mature man peddles his wares to a younger audience. Sorry, but most of subscribers are not just older, but old and I’m admit I ain’t young anymore either.

Bearwww: some good stuff but mostly international, i.e., Greece, Spain, Italy, France. Great if you’re traveling I guess. But, again, I’ve met a few Florida guys or vacationers here too.

Dudesnude: hot, hot pics (ah, those Aussie men drive me wild!), no doubt about it, and a lot of virtual ego lifts, but again not many local hits. Great for j-o’ing.

Adam4adam: Yea, there’s a lot of so-so men and jail bait (you sure you got your back molars in, kid?), but also a fair share of regular guys who are actually willing to have sex – with me – now or in the foreseeable future.

Bearcentral: one of the newest members to the daddy/bear group, but more chatty than nasty.

Now a lot of my fellow sex pigs swear by the Craigslist personals, but I’ve had checkered experience with them. Often times, there are no pics to judge a would-be suitor by or they won’t send one (I wonder why?) even though they’re quick to critique yours. And again, you’ve got to be ready to drop your drawers immediately if you want to catch the monkey by his you-know-what. Plus, while you can be getting hot over a hook-up site profile even if the guy has been dead for three months from a meth overdose, the shelf life of a Craigs personal is about 40 minutes.

But, hell, ain’t technology grand?

Tomorrow: Going Versatile


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