Healthy as a Horse

Well, I have some new health insurance with low deductibles and co-pays and went for a full annual physical this month after not having had one for more than five years. Why so long a wait? Because under my previous insurance, I had a very high deductible to keep the premium low which sadly discourages preventive care unless you’re at death’s door, since you know that virtually every penny you spend will be out-of-pocket. (My last physical only cost me $120 for my primary care doc’s time but the lab work ran me two grand!)

This time around, I had an EKG (no, my tech didn’t freak out when she saw my hairy chest) , finger up the butt, blood pressure reading , all the poking around a complete physical calls for, plus full blood work.

The verdict? No problems. Nothing.  Zilch. No cholesterol issues or sugar issues or thyroid or liver or kidney issues, prostate just fine, no hypertension, and despite my piggish ways in the bedroom, I remain HIV negative and free of any other STD’s.

All I can say is maybe I inherited a good gene pool, never smoked (too cheap), don’t drink (too cheap) except for a few beers on the weekend, and outside of my handful of trysts as described in blogs like “The Two Most Sensual Hours of My Life …”) don’t play “the party” circuit either. I watch my calorie intake by living mostly on microwave dinners, and hit the gym an average three times a week where I don’t chit chat but work out strenuously, challenging myself for a good hour to an hour and a half.

But when my dental hygienist at my last cleaning who couldn’t believe how old I was asked  what my secret was (besides biannual botox shots), I responded without even thinking, “Well it ain’t clean living, that’s for sure.”

All that sucking dick, eating butt, and fucking like a Daddy – maybe having lots of sex is the Fountain of Youth.

Ya think?

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