Excess Baggage

O.K. you’ve met the guy of your wet dreams. He has a great personality, is physically ever thing you’ve ever wanted, is just the right age, is great in bed and … he thinks you’re the Second Coming of Christ. But while we realize nobody’s perfect, Mr. Wonderful, well, comes with what my friends and I like to call “excess baggage:”

He’s poz and you’re not. Not a deal breaker but still a source of understandably concern, particularly when he has one off-the-wall health issue after another (related to his status or not) that he likes to whine about.

He’s coming off the end of a bad relationship or even a bad str8 marriage and you spend half your time playing a cross between a marriage counselor and a divorce lawyer.

You got a good job and are financial comfortable; he’s a two night a week DJ,  bar back, or an assistant to the assistant manager in some pet store, with a whole thousand bucks in the bank, and looking to you to “help him out.”

He’s got a meth habit he can’t afford, and wants to lead you down the same primrose path – using your wallet.

Sexually, your dick gets stiffer than a morning piss hard on just thinking about his furry butt.

Emotionally, you’re like a kid again in ninth grade when you had a crush on the class jock.


Intellectually, you know you’re a jerk if you continue anything more than a fuck buddy relationship – assuming the sex doesn’t get stale.

So what do you do?

Well, what would you do?

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