So far during this blog series I described preparing for a trip to Berlin. I also wrote about the process of entering and exiting the Lab. Now I want to describe Friday Fuck at the Lab.
The best way I can describe the Lab is that it has the feeling of an old industrial space. In fact, I don’t think they had to fix it up much to make it look the way it does. It was an old industrial space that looks like it was built sometime in the 1940s or 1950s.
I am guessing the look and feel of the bar is to give you a sense of a warehouse, back lot, factory, and the abandon building of your wet dreams or favorite porno movie. The walls and ceiling are cement, in several areas there are I-beams with gaffs hanging, There will be a series of radiators and heating pipes exposed, so although concrete, the areas are very warm.
The lighting is dim to dark, but not obnoxiously dark like a back room of some bar basement.
Throughout the club will be European techno music with an industrial feel. Do not worry. There will be no dance music or Lady Gaga to ruin the mood. This is in no way a dance club. The music is very cool, and seems to really fit the looks and mood of the club. In fact, I think it adds significantly to the pace of the activity in the club.
Sex at the Lab is a sure thing. While there is always some degree of posturing and cruising in every bar and club, I consider the Lab to have a wide assortment of good looking guys looking to experience their Friday Fuck.
After checking your clothes you will most likely enter the bar area. Order a drink, stand back, get yourself relaxed an oriented. There is no rush.
The one thing I can say about the bar area is that it is very cool. Like the rest of the club it has an industrial feel about it. The bar itself is u-shaped and against a wall, and during this last visit I thought two of the bartenders were pretty hot. Drink service is very fast.
Lining the bar area is heavy piping for leaning against, oil barrels, platforms, radiators, and metal I-beam posts. All areas of the club eventually lead back to the bar.
Once you have your drink, stand against a wall and look around. The very first thing you will notice will be the guys. On a Friday night there will be lots of guys. Since everyone has a grease pencil number written on their arms you can get a sense of how many men are in the bar. During this past trip the doorman confirmed to me that numbers are assigned sequentially so the highest number you see for the night is probably close to the number of people in the club. During my most recent visit, one Friday night I saw a high number of 476, and the second Friday night I saw high number of 532. So from these numbers you can see that this is obviously a popular club.
As I implied earlier, 95% of the guys will be shirtless, and 80% will either be nude, in underwear, or in gym shorts. You will see a few Speedos. Almost nobody will be in regular street clothes, and those that are generally don’t leave the bar area. Some guys will be in leather and rubber, but the bar is quite warm, so I would think being dressed like as such is uncomfortable. For the conservative guy I would recommend no shirt and jeans. Oh… don’t forget. Make sure you wear covered shoes or boots. Never wear sandals. Towards the end of the night the floors will be slippery.
I would say 97% of the guys are of European descent. I would guess over 90% will have normal bodies. This is not to say that this 90% does not include guys with fantastic and trim bodies. In fact, there are a great many of those, as well as guys with just regular bodies. What I am just saying is you won’t find the extremes in body types in high numbers. There are very few big juiced up guys like you see on South Beach, and even fewer really heavy guys. Any heavy guys I saw would be considered chunky in the USA. I have never seen a belly fat apron on any guy at the Lab.
The age group seems to be between 30 and 60 with the vast majority in their 40s. There some guys younger than 30 and older than 60, but they were in the minority. There were nearly no trolls. I define a troll as some sad soul guy, young or old, that are so far past their prime that looking at them sometimes hurts.
Be Warned! I should mention at this point that because this is a European bar most of the guys will be uncircumcised. This means if you are repulsed by a nice juicy piece of flesh rolled over the head of a guy’s cock, then this is not the crowd for you. If you think it is too much work to stroke excess skin over a guy’s cock, or you prefer not to have any extra skin to play with, then this is not the crowd for you. Also, as a helpful hint, you can almost certainly identify the Americans by whose cock is circumcised.
Action in the Bar
You will see action in the bar area of the Lab. Most guys get it on in other areas of the club, but the bar area can be very active. It is especially active for guys that like to get it on in front of many other guys.
For example, diagonal from the bar and up a short flight of steps there is a cell area (bars and all) that overlooks the entire bar area. In that cell is a sling. During my most recent visit, the sling was occupied on and off more than half the night by no fewer than 8 couples fucking. When one couple was done, another would take their turn.
The bar areas also has some benches and platforms, and it is not unusual to see a guy riding someone’s cock, or sucking someone, or just two guys stroking each other. During my most recent visit there were 2 super-hot muscle Germans, and they were taking turns fucking each other (legs in the air and all) while dozens were standing around and drinking their beers; some watching while others were engrossed in conversation.
For the most part, the bar area is for drinking, recharging, and chatting.
The sex areas of the club
The rest of the club is a maze of areas to have sex. I want to briefly describe each area, and I will let you imagine the rest.
One thing I do want to mention at this point is that the accoutrements / accessories around the club change from week to week. So from one week to the next there will be a sling where there was no sling the week before. Other accoutrements throughout the club that seem to change from week to week include large Mack truck tires hanging from gaffs, or laying on stacked on the ground for comfortable fucking or bending over. Throughout the club there are collections of platforms, slings, tables, benches, cages, bathtubs, tires, cots, etc. Dividers between rooms are usually curtains of rubber or heavy chains.
I also found that certain areas of the club are closed off until certain times of the night, or for certain days. All this helps the Lab to always be a fresh experience for the repeat visitor.
There are no porno movies playing. This is OK, because there will more than enough live action to see. I also have never seen anyone on the phone, or even with a phone at the Lab. So for me, it is also a throwback to a time when guys were not messaging and talking on the phone every damn second while at a bar.
In addition, throughout the club are dispensaries of free condoms and large containers of lube with pump tops. There are many strings of paper towel rolls hanging everywhere. These are so you use to wipe the sweat away from your face, or to wipe the cum off your new friend’s face.
The Presentation Room
One room near the bar I call the presentation room. In this room are a series of low platforms, and for effect a number old metal locker that vibrate to the music. In this area of the club you will see guys on all fours or on their back with their legs in the air just waiting to be fucked.
This area of the club is always busy, and usually crowded. In this area is not unusual to see a guy being fucked and being sucked while sucking some other guy while still holding onto two cocks.
From an etiquette point-of-view, if a guy has his ass in the air you can just take it. There is no need to shake hands and exchange pleasantries. When you are done it seems a slap on the ass after you pull out seems to be the appropriate way of saying thanks.
At this point, I should mention several important points of etiquette. If you approach someone and they are not interested. Don’t feel insulted; just go onto the next guy. You will have over 400 guys to choose from. If you see a guy fucking someone while working his own nipples, I found it is usually appreciated to work the guy’s nipples so he can concentrate on the guy he is fucking. Slapping asses seems to be OK. Watching is OK, but don’t be obnoxious. Being a spectator while masturbating is OK, but don’t come on someone unless invited to.
The key no-no I saw someone learn the hard way is if you see a guy getting fucked and that bottom has a dripping hard-on; do not touch it. One time when I was in a fuck group, some new guy came up and grabbed the cock of the guy being fucked. The guy being fucked also had a cock in his mouth and was busy. Before the bottom could protest he shot all over his belly. The group and the bottom were furious and disappointed. For the bottom, the intruder ruined a long night of fucking to the perfect climax.
Another area of the bar I call the jail. It is up a flight of step and is composed of a series of barred cells complete with sling and jail cots. This is another popular area of the club where you will always see action. It gets very crowded at times. I remember one time in this area some guy blindfolded his partner who was already in a sling. The guy then invited passersby to fuck his partner. I personally saw no less than 10 guys take up this offer.
The Lab does not have rooms like a bathhouse, but they do have a small area made up of about 6 small cubicles that are a bit larger than a confessional. I never spent any time in this area, but I guess guys can put themselves into the confessionals and confess all over their partners face whatever happens to be on their mind.
The Glory Holes
There is another area setup for glory holes. This area has two entrances. One entrance is for those that want to do the sucking, and another entrance if you want to get sucked. The sucking stations are up a few steps so that those doing the sucking don’t need to be on their knees all night. This entire area is behind a series of rubber curtains to insure anonymity. After all, isn’t this what glory holes are all about? At the height of the night there will be a line waiting for a spot in both these glory hole areas.
The Labyrinth, Back Rooms, and Dark Corners
What would a sex club be without an assortment of labyrinths, dark corners, hallways to escape to? All these areas are popular in waves. Sometimes they are empty, and other times they are teaming with people. Some have low concrete ceilings, and other areas look like abandon rooms or a factory. Some areas are separated by doors, while other areas look as if holes have been broken through the brick walls.
Guys will be walking through and hanging out in all these areas throughout the night. If you see someone you like, don’t be shy about approaching. If they don’t want you, they will indicate so. If they do, it could lead to 30 seconds of fun, or many minutes of pleasure and excitement.
I will say that these areas are not like what you would experience in backroom of a bar or bathhouse. Here you will see action, and you will experience sex if you want to. I have no doubt about it. During a previous visit to the Lab I remember in one of these areas I happened upon one guy fist fuck two guys simultaneously. The two guys were kissing and playing with each other’s nipples while the third guy was working both of them over. Around were a bunch of spectators jerking-off.
The Shipping Area
This is my favorite area of the club, and I think is pure genius. At about 12:30am the bar will open the doors to an outside area, the large opening of which is about the size you would expect a truck to back up to in order to offload goods.
When you walk out you are initially waking on wooden skids for the floor. Eventually you a make your way to an area where there are several large shipping containers. These are the types of containers you see being offloaded from cargo ships.
Once opened, this area quickly gets its share of action. This is because the bar is very warm, and to cool off guys head outside. Initially action is at the mouths of the shipping containers. Eventually guys make their way to the back of these deep abysses where there is absolutely no light except from the entrance. From the outside you cannot see what is happening in the back. Several slings are hung. Walking to the back does take nerve.
I think the reason I get into this area is because it reminds me of the west side of Manhattan during the good-old-days, when finding action in the back of a truck in the packing district was the norm.
Cock Washing Stations
In case you need to, outside the bathroom area there are cock washing stations with low sinks for good positioning. The floor does get wet and sloppy. Remember, do not wear open shoes at the Lab!
I never had to use the toilet at the lab, so I cannot tell you much about them. I will say the toilet area is covered in cool graffiti with some great images with men having sex. I am going to guess some guys hang out in the toilet area all night long. It is a great cruising area for those into toilet sex.
Having drunk a number of beers all night I do eventually need to make my way to another room where the urinals are. In the urinal area there will two opposing walls with about 5 urinals against each wall.
Every time I have gone to the Lab there are guys either laying on the floor below the urinals, or sitting against the wall between the urinals. Piss is not my thing, but one time I did let a guy hold my cock while I was draining it. I must admit I don’t know the etiquette for engaging a guy that is lying down under your urinal, so I can only guess what to do.
The Piss Pit
There is also a tiled pit that you can walk down to. It stairs are right next to the glory hole area. Once down there you will be in a 9’x 9’ area that mostly looks like a tiled steam room. Above it there is a metal grate that is part of the floor area of the area nearby the glory hole area. If you hang out in this tiled area, guys above you will probably feel free to piss down on you. So for those that are into piss, this is an area for you to hang out and have a few drinks.
There are other areas of this club, but I hope I got across what is available at this club, and what you can expect. I personally think the club has most something for everyone looking to start off their weekend in Berlin.
Even if you are not into having sex in a sex club like the Lab, hitting this club on a Friday for Friday Fuck is worth the tourist experience. You will be with a lot of hot Europeans, and have a chance to make at least one new friend with the 400+ guys that go there on a Friday night.