Fuck Buddies Vs. Partners: Who’s Better?

Each has its benefits, each its downside. So here goes.

Partner Pluses:

  • Someone there to rely on when you’ve got a problem
  • Regular sex
  • Someone who’ll listen and guide you
  • Regular sex
  • Someone to socialize with and be with
  • Regular sex
  • Some to share life’s experiences with
  • Someone to share the expenses or even big life investments like a house
  • Regular sex or flexible enough to “share.”

Partner Minuses:

  • Someone almost always around, often questioning and attempting to control your every action because he thinks he knows better
  • Predictable sex
  • Someone critical of what you do beyond the kind of healthy criticism we can all benefit from
  • Someone who disagrees with you even on the weather (“Beach today?” “No, look there’s a cloud in the sky.”)
  • A neat freak or pure slob
  • Predictably boring sex
  • Someone who doesn’t always meet his end of the expenses
  • Someone who gradually begins not to give a shit how he looks or is extreme in trying to look too good
  • Someone whose past friends aren’t your cup of tea or whose ex’s keep popping up like warts
  • Either a believer in monogamy or a Runaround Sam and you’re the exact opposite.
  • Often nasty – and sometimes costly – to get rid of

Fuck Buddy Pluses:

  • Predictable, lustful sex
  • Someone who’ll listen to your bitching about your partner as long as you keep it short
  • Predictable, lustful sex
  • No emotional roller coaster
  • No questioning about who else you’re fucking with – in fact, you may even compare notes and share
  • Someone you can experiment with without being accused of being a pig
  • Someone who knows how to be discrete because he’s usually in the same boat you are
  • You’re not limited to just one.

Fuck Buddy Minuses:

  • Predictable sex that starts to get stale
  • Someone who begins to let himself go because you’re his chief source of dick
  • Not someone you can rely on if you got a real problem
  • Can be awkward to get out of if you’ve been fucking around for years
  • Can be dangerous if he’s got a catty partner who spills the goods to your partner

So who would I choose?

Some stud I could keep in my bedroom closet and pull out when I needed him to (a) get my rocks off, (b) write out checks for the mortgage and DSL bill, (c) go with me to the movies or on a cruise, and (d) get my rocks off.

And NOT question who I’ve got stowed away in the linen closet.

I know, I know, I want nsa dick and someone to argue with, all at the same time.

But come on. Don’t we all?

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