My Month as a Rentboy: Part II

My first “john” was a 67 year old retired dentist from Palm Springs staying at one of the gay guest houses off Birch Road and the Lauderdale Beach. He actually was looking for two guys to fuck him (something my late meth-head Mitch would have loved) so I was not that surprised when I arrived, a smooth, thirty something Latin stud was already there, drilling the guy’s hole, doggie style. He barely paused from his mission to glance my way.

“Randy,” whispered Lennie, my dentist who resembled a pursy Episcopal minister, giving me the once over, and gesturing for me to join in. I quickly forsook my nylon running shorts and jockstrap that I had worn, so I thought, for some enhanced foreplay, and, thanking that Canadian online pharmacy for the two thousandth time in my life, went over and gave Latin Stud a breather.

All the way over to the guest house, I had been wondering if I could really do this, but I soon discovered, in this, my baptism by fire, that just the idea that someone wanted you so bad that they would pay for you made my 50 mg. of Viagra superfluous. I also gave a mental finger to all those guys who had rejected me over the years. Would anybody pay you, fuckers?

Actually Latin Stud and I got into something of a fucking competition, seeing who could pound poor Lennie the longest, but in the end I think it was a draw. Two minutes before the hour was up, Lennie shot his load and, lying back in a pool of sweat, gestured to the bureau and two envelopes. “Thanks, men, it was great.” Not that Latin Stud was my type – I liked ‘em hirsute – but my quick flirting wink and cockteasy smirk produced absolutely no response from my co-conspirator. He was apparently all business. I wondered as we both strolled out like two total strangers if his hourly rate had been higher.

My next suitor was actually fun, young, and farmboy cute, a multimillionaire software developer from D.C. I found out later in the brief chitchat that followed us doing the nasty. He was in town on business and had no time to beat the bushes searching for dick. When I had called Josh back – he had left a message for “Coach” on my Tracfone – he told me he had a jock fetish and could I come by in sneaks, a jockstrap, nylon gym shorts and a cap. No problem I replied, and that night at 11 after Josh had schmoozed some potential clients at dinner, I arrived in costume at his plush suite at the ritzy Ritz Carlton right off the beach. I think square footage wise it was larger than my house.

Keeping Josh entertained was like taking candy from a baby. In decent shape and striped down to his old fashioned white jockey underwear, he lay on his stomach, with me sprawled on his king size bed, legs slovenly spread, my crotch in his face as he felt underneath my shorts, then jockstrap for the prize. After teasing it from the outside with his tongue, he whipped out my very erect cock and slowly blew me – no reciprocation required. We spent almost half of his hour talking about Life – and his very mousey wife.

Ralph, a social anthropologist and university professor in town to judge a doctoral dissertation, was a bearish, hairless, six foot five actually-not-all-that-bad-looking kind of a guy who, like Josh, made very little demands on me except that I keep my cock hard so he could suck me off. The motel he was staying at was only a few minutes from my house and when I got back to my car after our 11 p.m. Sunday night appointment and counted my cash, I realized he had either given me a bonus (he did keep telling me throughout our session how he adored my fur and that I belonged on a magazine cover) or misread my hourly rate on the Rentboy site. But I was not about to return it, that’s for sure, and went on my merry way.

Hands down, my fourth client who revealed himself in an e-mail in my Rentboy dropbox was my most bizarre but one I wish my shitty little two by four life would have allowed me to act on:

“Hello, handsome. Just browsing the web and found your profile so cool and nice sexy pictures. I am an engineer, 42 yrs old, from Great Britain and I will need you on my Business Trip to Eastern Europe on the 30th of June for 8 days. I need someone who will follow my instructions and obey my orders, someone who is very decent, kind, honest, trustworthy and undetectable to protect my image and name. Just need you to come and give me some massages and keep me warm throughout my stay in Prague and Warsaw. I am ready to offer you a good sum of 2000.00 pounds per day for 8 days, which I will pay you upfront even before you leave the country. All necessary documents will be arranged for you, so feel free to get back to me only if you are interested and willing to go with me.  M.”

Was this guy for real? Who knows? He sure sounded enticing. But even if he were on the level, I doubted I could keep up the charade that long – an hour or two 15 minutes from my house is one thing, eight days halfway around the world quite another. Though, when it came to both my very legitimate career in public relations and my very illegitimate career as a male hooker, the most valuable courses I ever took in college had been my acting classes.

Tomorrow: My last and most challenging “client.”

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