I Don’t Need Your Life Story, Buddy – I Just Wanna Play

Ever notice how some guys responding to your wooing them on a hook-up site start telling you more about themselves than you wanna know?  How they say they’d like to get together but they’ve had a tough week at work or just recovered from the Ebola virus or was taking care of a sick buddy or have a tough weekend ahead – even if they’re conversing with you at 3 in the morning?

Ask me if I give a fuck! Enough already! If you don’t wanna connect, just don’t respond to my “cold call,” or if you’re interested but honestly can’t do it that night because you were on really just to jack off and go to bed, just say when you might be free and ask a follow-up. But keep it to ten words, huh?

One hairy hot  guy I was trying to hook-up with in L.A. went on for three paragraphs but how his day had been a mess, how he had to bury his goldfish, etc., etc., etc.

Back home, knowing the methboys in LA make the meth heads here in Ft. Lauderdale look like amateur  hour, I finally answered his extended excuse with:

“Jesus, were you tweaking when you wrote this? A ‘I’m not really interested after all, dude’ would have sufficed.

I didn’t even get a “fuck you” back.

 

 

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