Who’s Got It Better: Men or Women?

 

My sister called me last week to wish me a happy birthday and tell me one of her married sons – my nephew – is separating and that his wife of three years, wants a divorce “because he doesn’t do enough around the house.” Huh? I smell infidelity here, probably on her end not his, especially since she refuses to go to marriage counseling. They had both known one another for a while before marrying, and were already in their thirties when they got hitched so you can’t blame immaturity. Meanwhile, in mediation, it looks like she’ll get half of his 401K, etc. And with a two year old son in the picture, child support is a given.

I think gay guys who marry and then leave their wives late in life to follow their dream(man)  are fucks since women in their 50’s in American society aren’t exactly hot stuff unless they’ve got dough. Now, of course, if the gal knew the guy was gay before she married him, and thought she could deal with his bf’s, or worse, thought she could change him, well, that’s her problem. No sympathy here. But since in most states which or why one party initiated the parting of the waters doesn’t matter, she’ll still get her half – maybe more. (A cautionary note for you guys who wanna get married to a guy where one of you has a lot more assets than the other.)

But when I encounter women in their little clichés in a restaurant or at the gym or out shopping, where I overhear them bashing their hubbies or boyfriends, I wonder if they really need men at all. Many seem quite content with an all-girl social existence, or maybe they got a toy boy or bf’s on the side or a good rechargeable dildo or maybe, just maybe, they got used to or always liked pussy.

Hell, I’m beginning to wonder if some women have a devious strategy from the get-go: get married and even have the bambinos then, at some point, usually sooner than later, call it quits and grab the dough. If they aren’t some corporate attorney, are working p-t at Burger King or playing full time housewife, they can stand to gain monetarily a lot. Based on some of the divorces I’ve heard about – including my buddy Bill’s which took two years and fifteen thousand dollars in legal fees to finally settle – the courts are against the man most of the time anyway.

So in a still anemic economy, I think the best investment a guy can make is this:

Go for a sex-change operation in Costa Rica where it’s cheaper (if you’re hairy like me, a total body laser job before they cut your balls off is a pre-requisite); come back as a fetchin’ lady and find some well-heeled fuck to marry you; fuck him for a few years – it don’t matter what he looks like, just get in a fantasy mode like you did with some of your worse tricks; then divorce the fuck and …

Take him for all you can get!

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