Are All These GPS-Inspired Smartphone Apps A Crock of Sh*t?

After having Tracfoned for years to avoid another monthly bill and despite the fact, unlike a lot of fags, at least in Ft. Lauderdale, I do not have diarrhea of the mouth, I broke down and in May went for a Samsung Galaxy S III which, BTW, has a larger screen then the current iphone.

Getting the web on the run is great as is the easy texting feature, but I’ll let you in on a secret: I really wanted the smartphone because hits on the traditional hook-up sites are drying up and I – naively – thought it was because everyone was on those god-damn phone apps tracking down the next love of their life on a toilet seat 37.5 yards from their phone. Walk into a bar, supermarket, restaurant or funeral home and every fifth guy’s clickin’ away on some app. (So what if the phone of the guy laying on some slab in the embalming room is still chirping away?)

OK, so I got on Growl’r and Mister and Scruff on the notion my kind of rough and ready guys were on there too (I avoided Grind’r since I heard it’s populated by guys old enough to my grandson) and, since public app pics need to be G-rated, I saved my more provocative hard cock pictures for when a guy hits me up.

Well, I won’t lie. I love flirting and exchanging dirty pics and dirty talk like the next horny guy, but Jesus! The same fucken guys who ignore you on Manhunt ignore you on Scruff, or – don’t you love it – I’m getting hits not from guys a few blocks or the next town over, but somewhere 10,762 miles away from a country I never heard of!

And when I broke down and signed up on Grind’r, there’s ad for a 39 year old guy who says “Hairy isn’t sexy” and is “looking for younger.” Why don’t you ask the 27 year old guy I connectd with last week on good old school Manhunt if hairy is sexy or not, huh, buddy?

ATT, I want a refund!

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