Second Hand Sex

I recently came across a report from the Czech Republic that suggests that making porn accessible may be a prime contributor to a drop in child sex abuse cases. Rates of abuse dropped once a ban on sexually explicit material was lifted after the Commies lost control in the late ‘80’s. Researchers think potential perverts are using porn to get off rather than a real live kid.

I think the same trend is happening here in the larger sexual arena, particularly among us gay guys, including, surprisingly enough, younger guys who are using the hook-up sites and all the male porn available on the web to shoot a load instead of making it in the flesh, what I’d like to call virtual or second hand sex. From my view, we are fast becoming a subculture of Peeping Toms and social cripples.

Sure, in the old days before the web and DVD’s, there were the men’s magazines loaded with hard dicked pics of every variety and type, and those porn videos with the loud sixties vintage jazz tracks in between the moans and dirty talk. Many a boring, lazy afternoon, they and my hand were my happy companions. But that didn’t stop me from playing hunter that weekend at the baths, bars and sex clubs that once gave NYC its stellar, now long gone, gay reputation.

More and more, though, I’m getting the feeling with all the bullshit that goes on on the web and in the baths (walking … and walking… and walking) and in the sex clubs of today, whether most guys, or at least many guys, are more than content with, or may even prefer, no human contact whatsoever. Hell, even the sexy mags have become just extended ads for the porn websites.

After all, you have to admit, the web has made it a hell of a lot easier to get off without even having to brush your teeth. Have a shitty Saturday night where you felt invisible in the bars? Flick on xtube or cam four dot com, flip to any fetish you’re into or in the mood to explore, and in seven and a half uncivilized minutes you can get off, have your warm milk and toast, and go to sleep, at least physically satisfied. What makes sites like these especially naughty and appealing is that the guys are amateurs, like the cute guy you saw in the jeans aisle at Sears last week, not air-brushed porn gods. Not perfect, but real. Baring it all for the camera. And you. And if you’re into fucking goldfish, you’d find at least ten clips of guys into the same shit having a good old time.

Christ, there’s even a new gizmo you can stick your cock into to simulate getting blown or fucking a guy in sync with some hot video of the beauty of your sweet dreams right on your pc. Who needs a man?

Besides dirty pics and dirty talk, the web has also made possible real time interpersonal porn with a hot cyberbuddy, better known as camming. Camming with a bud might be a bit more intimate but there’s still no contact with flesh, and while I can see its value if you’re some lonely gay boy in Helena, Montana, us guys who live in gay hotbeds like Lauderdale, Chicago, L.A., or New York City should be getting it for real, not a facsimile thereof on a pc screen. That is, unless that’s all we want. No real contact, no dressing up and dressing down, no mileage on the car, no conversation, just the fantasy of the right camera angle, some edging up there and, bingo, out comes the cum rag and “see ya next time, Jake.” Hell, even I’m tempted when some hot, hairy stud from Dubai hits me up on Manhunt and asks, “You skype?”

Even the gay sites which were meant to bring people together for real are fueling the virtual sex trend. Again, I’m like a frustrated porn star wannabe when it comes to showing it all off in my profile pics (you gotta sell whatever you got, baby), and I know, for a fact, that my profile, and I’m sure hundreds of others, have become mini-porn sites unto themselves. Many a guy will actually E me, thanking me for his morning boner, and when a would-be web mate starts in with all that dirty talk, you just know he’s getting off on all those Kodak moments you’ve posted and has no intention of ever coming within ten miles of your dick. One Midwest guy, no pics up on his profile, e-mails regularly, thanking me for his surrogate sex life and signing off, “Your fan forever.”

Even the sex clubs where you would think you’d be pressing the flesh are becoming haunts for voyeurs who are afraid of disease (no, you can’t get syph, gon or HIV touching a guy’s dick) or more likely rejection, or who simply don’t want any real human contact, just a live porn show. Two guys are getting it on in the orgy room and twenty guys, all yanking on their soft dicks, are watching. I love making scenes in places like that, you know, getting some guy to go down on me, then standing up on the platform under one of those soft lights, watching as the carnival crowd gathers, and disappears just as quickly when it’s all over.

It’s all kinda sad isn’t it? Relying on a Xerox copy of what could be a very sensual, intimate life moment between two human beings, even if it is transitory. Guys, wake up! We’re all growing older by the second. Enjoy one another while you can. There will be time enough for virtual sex when you’re 95 and drooling in that nursing home without even a hot young male nurse to wipe your saggy ass.

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