You Ready for Retirement? (I don’t mean from sex, dude.)

No, you haven’t reached Money magazine’s website by mistake. I think it’s delusional for people with kids, straight or gay, to think that their adult children will automatically, positively be there for them in their old age. (I’ve seen otherwise too many times.) But one thing for sure about us gay men. Unless you have a life partner or sugar daddy better off than you who leaves you his $$, very, very devoted friends, a super-caring sibling without his or her own family responsibilities, or millionaire parents who will leave you everything, baby, the only one who’s going to care about you if you live that long is you.


That’s why, when I hear twenty-somethings, thirty somethings or forty somethings chatter on at the gym or in a bar or on the beach or on their website profiles about the next international Fuckfest or Bearfest they’ve got lined up, sandwiched in between two others, plus a couple of RSVP cruises, I’m tempted to ask two questions: you making a six figure salary or, if not, have you thought about tomorrow?

Listen, I didn’t sacrifice and I pissed a lot of $$$ away in my day, have done my share of domestic and international traveling, and bought the clothes and tech toys, etc., etc., etc. But, you also have to prepare for a rainy day, whether that be no job or, shudder the thought, old age. While I’ve enjoyed an early, comfortable retirement in sunny Ft. Lauderdale, thanks to good luck and some prudent planning, I know some guys now in their 60’s who tell me they’ll be getting five or six hundred dollars a month from Social Security when they retire, and they’ve got nothing put away. Huh? You can’t even live on Walmart Rob Roy dog food for that.

Granted, Social Security quarters, 401K’s, real estate, and IRA CD’s may not be the most erotic subjects on the planet but, no matter where you are job wise, Gaymart clerk or corporate lawyer, just sit on this:

When the botox and fillers don’t work anymore, will you be able to afford the cruises and dinners and 2-for-1 drink specials and that once-a-month Hotspot guy for some fun? Or some hunk of a male nurse to wipe your leaky ass when eye candy is all you can enjoy?

Or will you be selling off your Star Trek memorabilia to eat?

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