I’ve noticed that some of the perpetually politically correct jerks who write for our weekly gay rags lately have added a new caboose to the already overly long and getting-weary name the gay media calls our community. Now our sandbox isn’t just filled with gay men, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders. No, now we’ve got a new social outlier: “the questioning.”
Who the fuck are they supposed to be?
Right off, and I know I’m goin’ to piss off some of you when I say this, and I’ve said it before, I’m a gay man who likes gay men. Period. No apologizes. No guilty feelings of not being inconclusive. Not that I got anything against everybody else who’s vying for the same pail and shovel that I am in our little sandbox, but, Jesus! – hear me out:
1. Sorry retrofem twinks, and Ru Paul wannabes, I’m a homo who wants a regular, average, unadultered, guy I can bring home to mother (if the bitch were still living).
2. I got nothing in common with lesbians who have a totally different psychology goin’ on than us gay guys. And they’re women – I got enough of them elsewhere in my shitty life.
3. Bisexuals can be fun like “str8” married men and those younger guys who claim to be pan sexual and swing both ways without blinking an eye. But my conviction is if you like your own sex in bed, chances are you’re gonna prefer that sex over the opposite one.
4. Transgenders can do whatever they like, but how can I as a gay guy who loves his dick and other guys’ dicks have any affinity to guys who voluntarily have theirs chopped off because upstairs they think like women?
OK, now that I’ve got that out of the way, we’re back to my original question.
Who the fuck are “the questioning?”
Guys married forty years to a woman who they had children by who are still wondering why the 17 year old jock bagging their groceries gives them a woody?
Priests or nuns who used religious life as a cover and now want it all?
I don’t fucken know – do you?
If the “questioning” need a gay guy to talk to to better understand themselves, fine, (buy me dinner), or better, go to a shrink. But make them another subset of us? Huh?? What’s next? Guys and gals who like, I mean REALLY like their Fidos?
All I can say, when you, “the questioning,” have stopped questioning and made up your mind what gets your motor running, let me know. If you’re cute and interested, maybe I’ll even break you in. But until you know who you are:
Stay out of my sandbox!