What Happened to Simple Sex?

I know, I know, that Big Bad Bogeyman known as Mr. A. But I still found a recent article in one of our weekly gay newspapers down here in Fort Lauderdale on safer sex, while certainly instructive and needed, also bordered on theater of the absurd. No wonder more and more of us are turning to porn as our penis substitute.

His eyes meet yours, or more likely, your texts synced. The two of you are ready to do it, when what pops up are not two hard dicks but some sobering practicalities:

Is he negative? Is he telling you the truth? Are you telling the truth?

If he’s poz but says he “undetectable” are you OK with that given, what the med experts say, the chances of being infected by a guy where the virus is almost undetectable in his system are pretty low?

If he’s wearing a condom or you’re the condom wearer, what if it breaks or slips? (They do half a percent of the time you know.)

If he says he doesn’t need the condom, he’s taking PrEP, a new Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis like Truvada, do you believe him or believe he’s taking the proper dose when he needs to which is every day? Frankly, do you really believe many promiscuous gay men are using these drugs with their high cost of thirteen grand a year just to fuck or that, as this article claimed, health insurers are footing the bill?

No wonder for many of us who want more than just oral sex or a j-o buddy and are unwilling to throw caution to the wind, porn has become our preferred sex partner.

Like guys who commented on my recent blog on gays and porn pointed out, it’s just easier.

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