Is Masturbation Going The Way of the Landline Phone?

Can we talk?

You know and I know nobody knows how to get you off better than you.

But according to a study conducted by Indiana University, masturbation, if not a dying art, may still be in trouble. In its survey conducted in 2013, 16.5% of males 25 to 29, at the peak of their sexiness and testosterone levels -that’s almost one out of 5 – NEVER masturbated the entire previous year. And the numbers get worse the older you get. Twenty percent of guys in their thirties admitted they hadn’t shot a geyser the whole year, and with 50+ guys it was one out of three.

Hell, when I was in my twenties and thirties, I was jacking off twice a day. Even today – well, let’s just say I’m not in the 28% of guys over 50 who are keeping it in their pants.

OK, though, even with those percentages, the vast majority of us apparently still know how to make ourselves feel good, real good. But considering all the exploding 24/7 avenues for getting up and getting off, streaming porn sites, hook-up sites with their alluring profile pix, camming, etc., etc, etc., etc., you would think the numbers would be going up, not down.

Does that mean the rest of us masturbate at least once a year or don’t need to masturbate at all because we having in-the-flesh – S-E-X? With our partners or gentleman callers?

I doubt it given all the guys I encounter on Manhunt or bear411 or adam4adam, with and without other halves, who say they like me and I like them and the distance between us is a few miles not light years, yet who flake out when you ask the burning question: when and where?

(Methheads don’t count. They’ll pulling on their dicks feelin’ good as they dirty talk to you, but nothin’s happening downstairs with Willy.)

So what’s the problem?

Are we becoming increasing jaded to sex because of all the titillation everywhere we look that’s supposed to horn us up and is actually having the reverse effect?

Has stress and bullshit overtaken our lives?

Are we playing with our phones when we should be playing with our pensises?

Are more of us taking an oath of chastity? (Who says the priesthood is dead?)

Are guys waiting for that phone app still being kept under wraps by the gurus of Silicon Valley that they’re gonna call, “Beam Me up Scotty!” Where you’ll be able to cum without an erection and without touching yourself. (technically not masturbation, right?)

Or is it true like a pharmacist friend of mine has theorized that all that dumping meds down the drain and down our toilets that can’t be filtered out of our water supply is fucking up our libidos?

Who knows? All I can say if and when you can do – do it! Not only is it good for your prostate to shoot a wad on a regular basis (that’s why priests have a higher rate of prostate cancer than the rest of us):

As the old saying goes, use it or lose it!

Or if you ain’t pleasuring yourself anymore, sell it to a transgender who’ll be delighted to have a real dick, and at least make some bucks for your 401K.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s