“Only Those Seeking an LTR Need Reply”

“Only Those Seeking an LTR Need Reply”

I admit it. I’m addicted to the hook-up sites. I’m on at least five of them at last count, plus another three or four phone apps, and while they’re like playing the slots – plenty of wasted time and effort – you keep surfing since you never know when your number will come up. And, one time out of hundred, it does. After all, since the popularity of the web, bars which used to be centers of cruising are now largely social clubs where every fifth guy is on his smartphone; and whorehouses like long standing bath houses are dying off faster than the African elephant as the young guys are crazy-glued to their keypads and the baths’ established goers are just growing older and older and older till they fade into the seventies’ gay art that still adorns the bath house walls. (There were over 200 bath houses at the height of Gay Liberation; today their number stands at just 70.) So where else can you find a roll in the hay with honey on it than places like Manhunt, Bear 411 or Growl’r.

That said, I’m convinced from my cyber-philandering that the thousands and thousands of men who these sites boast as members (“103,000 hot guys online right NOW!”)are hardly representative of gay society as a whole. With some minor altruistic exceptions, most guys who populate these sites fall into two broad categories:

“Selfish Sams,”guys looking for sex, just sex (do I really have to tick off what kinds of stuff two guys get into?), but sex on their terms. You use your gas or subway token to come to me, screw me and leave. And, oh, by the way, don’t forget to bring the lube and meth or grass so I can feel good while you fuck me, and a personal pizza me and my doggie Lulu can have after you get your ass out of here.

The other benevolent group are the “Wandering Wally’s,” partnered guys in closed, open and sideways relationships looking for recreational sex and a boost to their frail egos (“if I were your bf, I’d tie you to the bed and never let you leave the bedroom”) just as long as their playdates don’t get in the way of his and Herbie’s weekly bowling league.

So when on a rare occasion I hit up a guy for a little afternoon delight who responds “sorry, looking to date,” or “on here for more” I politely answer, “good luck,” and just wonder, if the guy is not blowing me off but is honest regarding his intentions, what kind of grass he’s smoking. Can guys really meet somebody on these hook-up sites adorned with porn and toy ads who they can take home to mother?

I wanna know what you think and I’ll be publishing the results of my little poll in a future blog.

In the meantime, happy hunting!

7 thoughts on ““Only Those Seeking an LTR Need Reply”

  1. Me

    The only relationships I’ve ever had came from those “hook-up” sites. Not everyone on them are looking for a quick nut. (most, yeah). My last relationship lasted 3 years. We lived together the entire 3 years, and met on bear411. And just prior to that I was with a guy for 2 years, who I also met on 411. I don’t do hook-ups, never have. But I’ve had better luck meeting guys to date on bear411 than I have on POF or any other site. And I’ve never dated anyone that I just met randomly in a bar or at the store. That’s the kind of relationship that I think is fantasy, cause it’s never happened for me. I’ve been single and abstinent for the last 5 years now, cause I can’t seem to find anyone that wants anything real.

    1. Because I’m convinced more and more of us regardless of age are living in a gay fantasy world that the web has made easy to live in. Could you make contact with some guy as easily on the otherside of the world before the web? Meanwhile, I’ll get men from across the country and around the world who think I’m “wonderful’ til I mention about visiting them or having them visit me. Suddenly dead cyberspace. Local guys – nowhere. Too close to reality.

  2. U.J.

    Well, I met my hubby on a “hook-up”site and we’ve been together for more than 11 years now. It started as just a sex thing and we both were not expecting too much out of it. It just happened and works very well.

    Personally I think you look at it with only stereotypes instead of facing the fact that, even though it is as you described in most of the cases, we are still talking about different people. Yes, we are men and we have needs – but that does not mean that everything ends the way you experienced it. I met sexbuddies online that became good friends afterwards and some just stayed ONS as expected which is fine too.
    Like I said – it depends on the indivuals.

    Did you never meet anyone who stayed in your life and you in his after what was supposed to be only a hookup?

    1. Met my longtime partner the old fashion way – in a bar. But that was when dinosaurs still roamed the earth. i trully think the mentality of today’s gay men is a major obstacle to hook-up sites being a source of lasting relationships, platonic or otherwise. But that’s me.

  3. R. Woody

    I always enjoy your blog. Let’s just say that right up front. And when you post a picture of yourself, I wonder if I’d have hit you up if you were in NE over the last decade. I do like ’em hairy, especially don’t want a guy to shave his ass smooth for me. Now addiction is a tough issue. I too have wasted plenty of time in the past 20 years cruising the internet for a bit of recreational fun. Now and then I find a guy that I fuck for an extended period of time but it is rare. I can probably count them on one hand. But the sites can be addictive. So, I recently deleted every profile I could remember ever creating of me. Cold turkey. I decided there had to be more to life then sitting at the computer hooking up with guys that don’t show up, don’t answer the door when I arrive, don’t look anything like their picture, don’t want to kiss – just fuck me, guys that don’t suck cock, rim ass or even lick nipples (all one sided bastards), or guys that aren’t that involved with the sex and ask what we are going to do next. I decided I can live without all that bull shit. And, I get out and exercise in the morning, my house is cleaned, the laundry is done, I have friends over for the evening, I can do lunch, it is amazing the things that happen when one is not glued to a computer screen hoping to be noticed on ManHunt.

    Keep writing!Kisses, Woody

    Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 04:02:28 +0000 To: woody_hot55@hotmail.com

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