“Only Those Seeking an LTR Need Reply”
I admit it. I’m addicted to the hook-up sites. I’m on at least five of them at last count, plus another three or four phone apps, and while they’re like playing the slots – plenty of wasted time and effort – you keep surfing since you never know when your number will come up. And, one time out of hundred, it does. After all, since the popularity of the web, bars which used to be centers of cruising are now largely social clubs where every fifth guy is on his smartphone; and whorehouses like long standing bath houses are dying off faster than the African elephant as the young guys are crazy-glued to their keypads and the baths’ established goers are just growing older and older and older till they fade into the seventies’ gay art that still adorns the bath house walls. (There were over 200 bath houses at the height of Gay Liberation; today their number stands at just 70.) So where else can you find a roll in the hay with honey on it than places like Manhunt, Bear 411 or Growl’r.
That said, I’m convinced from my cyber-philandering that the thousands and thousands of men who these sites boast as members (“103,000 hot guys online right NOW!”)are hardly representative of gay society as a whole. With some minor altruistic exceptions, most guys who populate these sites fall into two broad categories:
“Selfish Sams,”guys looking for sex, just sex (do I really have to tick off what kinds of stuff two guys get into?), but sex on their terms. You use your gas or subway token to come to me, screw me and leave. And, oh, by the way, don’t forget to bring the lube and meth or grass so I can feel good while you fuck me, and a personal pizza me and my doggie Lulu can have after you get your ass out of here.
The other benevolent group are the “Wandering Wally’s,” partnered guys in closed, open and sideways relationships looking for recreational sex and a boost to their frail egos (“if I were your bf, I’d tie you to the bed and never let you leave the bedroom”) just as long as their playdates don’t get in the way of his and Herbie’s weekly bowling league.
So when on a rare occasion I hit up a guy for a little afternoon delight who responds “sorry, looking to date,” or “on here for more” I politely answer, “good luck,” and just wonder, if the guy is not blowing me off but is honest regarding his intentions, what kind of grass he’s smoking. Can guys really meet somebody on these hook-up sites adorned with porn and toy ads who they can take home to mother?
I wanna know what you think and I’ll be publishing the results of my little poll in a future blog.
In the meantime, happy hunting!