The Gay Marriage Shuffle
Not only have the number of appeals and lawsuits and counter-appeals and counter-lawsuits grown faster than pop-ups on a hook-up site; the kinds of points being debated would give even Joan Rivers fresh material.
First, there’s the federal judge in Louisiana who, bucking the trend, knocked down SSM in that state using the tired worn “procreation” and “tradition” bullshit (another federal judge then overturned his ruling and said LA is violating our constitutional rights).
Then you got pro-ban attorneys at the multi-state appeals hearings going on in Chicago coming up with ridiculous excuses that made even the judges cringe like accusing gays as being too “responsible” for marriage since marriage was created to keep str8 men in line from having kids out-of-wedlock (Yea, sure. Watch any daytime trash TV lately?)
And in another episode of “Can You Top This?”, you got a gal who married her girl in Vermont where it’s legal and then sought a divorce in Florida where it’s not. This inadvertently led to an overturn by the judge of the ban on SSM in the Redneck Sunshine State since how are you gonna get a SS divorce in Florida unless Florida recognizes SSM in the first place. But that ruling, like so many before it, was soon after thrown out this time by the judge himself on a legal technicality when he realized our State Attorney General Blonde Bimbo Bondi who is channeling Anita Bryant didn’t file an appeal.
So is there any sanity left?
Well, the Supreme Court has decided to formally add gay marriage cases to the justices’ agenda for their closed-door conference on September 29. It doesn’t mean anything will happen anytime soon, but at least the Court recognizes it somehow needs to address this mishmash and may – may – this term, which concludes in June 2015, end the legal circus it partially created by wimping out on its ruling last June, and finally declare gay marriage a civil right.
If not, all these test lawsuits and state appeals will continue.
How long? Who knows.
Hey Joan. Taking notes up there?