“Monogamy Turns Into Monotony”

“Monogamy Turns Into Monotony”

That was the title of a recent column by “Ask Amy,” the syndicated advice columnist who appears in my local paper, the Sun Sentinel. Seems sex between a guy and his girl fizzled out after a year and now the girl’s distressed her boyfriend favors porn over her.

Sound familiar?

But what was more surprising was Amy’s response: “Sexual relationships are bound to fizzle if one partner finds a sexual outlet that interferes with the connection between the couple. Perhaps your guy would be willing to share his porn with you so you could have parallel pleasures.”

I’m sure there are gay couples out there who do just that, but G and I don’t even agree on the kind of guy we like anymore. He digs increasingly younger, me, more seasoned like the Trivago guy who’s gone through a redo -fucken hot motherfucker!

In fact, my partner of double digit years has preferred porn for years even with me prancing around the house naked half the time (“Put on some clothes will ya?!”) As I write this he’s debating which package of discounted DVD’s he’d like to order from Titan. While he bates me about going out on a weekend night, he rarely wants to join me since I give him a couple of hours of unbridled time to watch his boys while I attempt to get blown at our local sex club or troll our leather bar.

And those of you who follow my blog know my conviction on how the hook-up sites have morphed into private porn sites where guys, partnered or solo, have less interest in pressing the flesh when they can drool over some hot pics of their favorite profiles, or discover some new ones, and jack off without even having to brush their teeth. Ditto with the phone apps like Growl’r where I can have ten minute sexcapades with guys in Dubai or Omaha, exchanging dirty talk and rock hard cock shots til one or both of us shoot our loads. (You know the guy is done when he stops responding to your come hither rantings.).

But the one thing I don’t tolerate is some trick wanting to watch porn while we fuck.

If you need the porn, you don’t need me.

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