Take My Survey At The End Of This Post – Play It as It Lays: Is Bisexuality Something To Be Envied?
The title of the Joan Didion novel published in 1970 and set in the late 60’s crazy, anything goes world of Hollywood came to mind when I read about Kate Brown becoming the nation’s first openly bisexual governor. (Unless all you listen to is Beyoncé, you should have heard about the jerk she replaced, former Governor John Kitzhaber, who was forced out when it was discovered his wife-to-be was pushing clean energy policies at the same time she may have been accepting money from the companies most likely to benefit.)
Surveys are only as good as the honesty of the people surveyed, but according to a 2013 study conducted by the federal Centers for Disease Control, about 1.6% of the American population identifies itself as gay, while less than 1% classify themselves bisexual. Twice as many women are bisexual than men, maybe because it’s a lot easier to hide a sexual relationship with a girlfriend than a buddy.
First off, I think a lot of you share my view of bisexuality. Is it for real or only a closet gay cop-out? Even if you’re truly aroused by both sexes, wouldn’t you be more attracted or feel more comfortable with the sex that has the same equipment as you do?
Yet, deep down I have to admit, at times, I’m actually jealous of fucks who can fuck both ways, even have deep emotional relationships with both sexes, or as in Didion’s title, “play it as it lays.” Lately I’ve run into some younger guys who represent members of what I’ve labeled the Pan Sexual generation. Again, they have male lovers and female lovers and str8 friends and gay friends and never think twice about it.
A healthy way of looking at sex and life?
Like many guys my age and probably many even today, once we knew who floated our boat, we were forced to make a choice of either shamming a str8 existence or choosing, in the words of poet Robert Frost, “the road less traveled.” Many of us then and many guys even in today’s enlightened times decide to “play” str8 and marry – a woman – and have kids because they think it’s the right thing to do or because of family, ethnic or peer pressures. They are either successful at sublimating their “deviant” desires or at some point go off having “Down Low” encounters or even relationships with other married guys, or lose it all and rape some kid, or just blow the closet door off its hinges and after forty years of wedded bliss, leave wifey and become gay blades. Hell, a retirement haven and gay party town like Fort Lauderdale has a shit load of ‘em, enough to fill the Titanic. (These are the naïve bastards who you read about getting rolled by young hustlers – or worse.)
But what I found most fascinating about Kate Brown’s experience is that she herself admitted, “Some days I feel like I have a foot in both worlds, yet never really belonging to either.” And when she came out to her parents, their response was particularly bizarre: ”It would be much easier for us if you were a lesbian.”
So it could be my perceived envy of folks who can “play it as it lays” may be misguided. And studies by the CDC validate that bisexuals tend to suffer from more “serious psychological distress” than str8’s and even gays.
Maybe the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Or as Shakespeare put it, “to thine own self be true.”
But what do you think? I wanna hear from you on this one. I’ll report on the results of my little survey in a future post.