Another Installment of My Gay Advice Column, “Just Ask Daddy”
Buddy: Daddy, there is this guy who kept hitting me up on the hook-up sites for over a year but I ignored him, not because he’s not good looking, but just not my type. Finally I agreed to meet, and surprise, surprise, the sex and camaraderie that first time was over the top. But as we connected again and again, I began to notice cracks in his veneer. By our fourth hook-up, we had a major blow-out about some shit and he left my apartment in a huff. I thought that was the end of things, bur an hour later he texted me and apologized for being an asshole and asked for my forgiveness. Because everything else seemed so good in our budding relationship, I agreed to see him again, and after another session of mind blowing, lustful sex, he confessed that he had been in love with me from afar for a long time.
But Daddy, I’m just not an LTR kind of guy right now in my life, and while I thanked him for his expression of affection, I told him not right now. Again, he pouted like a kid, said nothing, put on his clothes, and left. I decided this time to let sleeping dogs lie.
Ah, but he kept texting me, calling me, leaving notes with the security guy at my apartment house. (Interesting – he never told me where lived.) His messages went from how much he loved me to what a heartless queer I was. At first I kept telling him that I liked him very much too, but no romance right now, but by my tenth message I had had it and told him to fuck off. I realize now, Daddy, that he’s an immature psycho, besides being a certified cokehead and methhead. I blocked him on the websites but he’s got my smartphone number. So many family and friends have that number that I really don’t want to have to change it because of this nut job.
So what the fuck can I do now? Call the cops? What have I got to convince them that this is more than just a lovers quarrel between two gay boys?
Daddy: You ignored him for a year before you fell for the bait. Trust your instincts next time. Hey, Daddy here is far from perfect and every time I’ve ignored my gut, I’ve regretted it.
But congrats are still in order on a couple of fronts
Stalking is the highest form of flattery and you got one super-duper stalker here, buddy. Thank the Gay God you got security in your building or you’d really be in deep shit.
And congrats you learned about his addictions before things went any further. If you wanna piss off a buddy of mine, ask him about the guy who he didn’t realize was a functioning alcohol who had Poland Springs vodka, not water, for breakfast until after they had signed the lease.
My advice is simple: DO NOT RESPOND TO ANY FURTHERT TEXTS OR VOICE MAILS. Guys who get hot under the collar with an ex-trick or partner make the mistake of getting into some virtual shouting match. Wrong, wrong, wrong. There’s a fine line between love and hate; by responding, you’re showing the guy that in his twisted mind you still (insert sobs) care. Even blocking him on the sites revealed that he got under your skin. If you don’t give a shit about him, show it by doing nothing. Very soon, he will probably give up on you and move to his next victim.
If things go beyond the wireless world, I mean you run into him at a bar or the supermarket, ignore him. If he pulls any shit on you, call Security and tell him you’re calling the cops. If he’s as much a cokehead and methhead as you say he is, they’re the last guys he’d want to see at his door.
And don’t worry about not having his address – they’ll sniff him out.