Were The Shrinks Right After All?
Back in the day during my college years when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, the textbooks for my Psychology courses described homosexuality as a psychiatric abnormality and asserted that homosexual men were the way they were because they were in some arrested stage of development, i.e., stuck in prepubescence where most boys had a hankering for other boys till girls caught their fancy. In other words, gay guys or at least some gay guys have never grown up.
Okay, I know a lot of that psycho mumbo-jumbo was thrown out a long time ago and the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as an “abnormality” way back in the seventies when Gay Liberation was still in diapers. But after dealing with some guys on the web I wonder if the old fogies of the Psych world had it right the first time.
I know l keep returning to my experiences on the web, but let me ask you, how many guys have you met lately in the flesh, huh? And it may be that the web is skewed to the outliers in our sub-culture. But too many times l have to remind myself that l’m dealing with adult men, in many cases mature middle-aged adult men, who act like little coquettes at a prom.
Three times in the last week guys have come on to me, make a preliminary commitment to connect, and when l attempt to confirm the day of, l’m confronted with cyber silence. Hey, nobody’s got a gun to your head to have sex with me, and since l’m the top and the guy’s a bottom, you should be sucking my ass (figuratively, of course, though if you like rimming my hairy hole I ain’t gonna complain), not me begging you.
I mean, what does it take to send a text like “Sorry, something came up. Another time. Let’s stay in touch,” or just “Sorry, man. Changed my mind. Gonna pass. Happy hunting.” Okay, at my age, my ego is dented for about 56 seconds. Hey if you don’t have an ego of an elastic band in this life, stick with porn. If somebody doesn’t want you, they don’t want you. Period. Move on.
But not to respond to a text? Again after you’ve gone on how much you want my dick up your butt? I mean what assholes are we dealing with out there?
Then there’s the guys who hit me up totally out of blue: “l’m real horny, man.” My reply: “You look pretty hot bro, but it’s my mother’s funeral today.” His response: “l’m real horny man. How about a quickie?” My reply: “l can’t man. I told you, I’m burying my mother today. How about the weekend?” His response: “But l’m horny now man. Come on over.”
Am I dealing with a full deck here? It’s like he’s like a little kid who needs his pacifier NOW.
In exchanging notes with my pushing fifty but still very sexy female neighbor who plays the str8 hook-up game, maybe we gay boys don’t have a monopoly on ignoramuses. When l was still teaching college l was struck how my female students – not all of them but many of them – were more mature in their behavior and outlook on life than their male counterparts.
Do grown men prefer the fantasy even when reality is within their reach? Or has hiding behind the cyber screen made polite behavior a lost art?
That’s when I actually connect with a guy who has his shit together, including a few under thirties l’ve had the Daddy luck of having lately, I’m shocked sensible people still exist in our little sub-culture.
All l can say to those prom girls out there:
Got fuck yourself. (You wish.)
Now have a nice day.