Enablers can be both good or bad but in this life they’re mostly bad. What am I talking about? (I’m about to offend half of you, but here goes.)

… sex addicts who edge one another on by comparing score cards as to how many men they had the past week, day, or afternoon (hey, sometimes you just get lucky)…

… meth heads who almost exclusively will not have sex unless you get high too. Sometimes you playing the candyman is another pre-req. Even allowing the guy to slam (that’s shooting it up with a needle in your arm) while you defer to just the pipe (smoking it) ain’t good enough. “We have to be on the same page,” says he. What page??

… alcoholics who only hang together in 4-for-1 bars, with look-the-other way bartenders hungry for tips, each vying for who can fall off the stool or collapse in the middle lane of the street first.

… effeminate, over-the-top twinks who live off one another’s immature, girlish, childish, boorish, plain silly, stereotypical behavior.

… today’s bears (in my heyday bear was reserved for a humpy, beefy, usually hairy guy) who are essentially the gay version of America’s overweight middle-aged men. They usually hang around in packs so they can feel good about themselves (“I’m fat but he’s fatter.”) But as a former health exec I can tell you their fat is costing all of us higher health care premiums.

… guys with their boastful “Was I a pig?” story, each trying to top the other: “I got fucked in the parking lot of Target’s by a black guy,” countered with “so what, I fucked a black guy in the ladies room at Target.” Till one guy, trying to top them all, stops the show with his grand revelation: “I suck the balls of my unspayed German Shepherd every night!”

… over-the-top muscle boys with steroids coursing through their veins, edging one another to get bigger, until their neck muscles could balance the Eiffel Tower, and their totally out-of-proportion bodies are no longer sexy but grotesque to everyone but themselves. (Did I ever tell you the story about the twenty something guy I screwed in Chicago who told me he lost his 39 year old bodybuilder dad and steroid junkie to liver failure?)

Yea, enablers can be good or bad. Or maybe it all depends on what side of the fence you’re on.

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