Who’s On First?

Who’s On First?

When I was still back in New York, working in PR, Mae West, the buxom, nineteen thirties Hollywood queen of double entendres (“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?”) who didn’t make her first film till her forties, came up in casual office chatter.

“Who’s Mae West?” asked my twenty two year old secretary Jennifer.

“Talk about making me feel real old,” I replied.

Well, for those of you are don’t recognize the comedy team of Abbott and Costello, super big couplein the forties and fifties in both the movies and on radio and later TV, this dynamic duo was perhaps most famous for their skit, “Who’s On First.” (I’ll get to how this connects to the transgender couple pictured here in a minute.) Here’s the skit:

Abbott: Strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names.
Costello: Funny names?
Abbott: Nicknames, nicknames. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third–
Costello: That’s what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.
Abbott: I’m telling you. Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third–
Costello: You know the fellows’ names?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well, then who’s playing first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow’s name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The fellow playin’ first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first base.
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: Well, what are you askin’ me for?
Abbott: I’m not asking you–I’m telling you. Who is on first.
Costello: I’m asking you–who’s on first?
Abbott: That’s the man’s name.
Costello: That’s who’s name?
Abbott: Yes.
Abbott: What was that?
Costello: I said, I DON’T CARE!
Abbott: Oh, that’s our shortstop!

Okay, by now you’re saying, Ray, get to the point.

See, we got this transgender couple in Ecuador. He was a she and she was a he. Cute couple, huh? But since they both still have their original junk, she who used be he impregnated he who used to be a she who is now carrying their baby. Hey, they’re even waiting for the Catholic Church there to bless them.

As Diane, formerly Luis, correctly pointed out, “It would be a contradiction to criticize us for giving birth naturally.”

Understand now why I called this blog, “Who’s on First?”

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