Another Installment of My Gay Advice Column, “Just Ask Daddy”
Buddy: Billy, my bf and I have been together for over two years, though we’ve lived in our own pads. Recently, he bought a house on his own (he makes more money than I do), and has asked me to move in with him.
Sounds great, huh? But there’s one problem. I’m pretty out at work and with my family, but Billy is an exec at a very conservative company, so he’s still pretty much in the closet. His family doesn’t know either and he’s never offered to have me meet them. And now that we may be living together, he’s asked that I confine my “stuff” to my bedroom only.
I’m beginning to rethink this living together idea, but I love Billy very much and don’t want to throw everything away. What should I do?
Daddy: Listen, you both gotta be on the same page on this issue of out or not out. And I can tell you from experience, most guys who stay in the closet publicly almost never come out. There’s nothing wrong with that provided you can live by his standards, which is not easy to do. In fact, it sounds like you’re already getting frustrated. Worse yet, it’s HIS house which means you have very little say in what goes on there. You’re basically a roommate with benefits. And that may include not only COD (Cock On Demand), but also kicking in some towards the mortgage and utility bills which cynic me says may be the real reason he invited you to live with him in the first place.
My advice: Have a blunt talk with your Billy, and if your gut (not your heart or your dick) tells you he ain’t gonna move on the issue, and given his employment status he probably won’t, maintain your own living space, or I hate to say it, GET THE FUCK OUT FROM UNDER before you regret in the years ahead you hung around.