Another Installment of My Gay Advice Column, “Go Ask Daddy”
Buddy: l met this great guy and a month after we met he moved in with me. Everything’s cool except for one thing. He still stays in contact with his ex. He keeps telling me it’s over between them sexually and emotionally, but he admits they have lunch at least once or twice a week – their offices are close by – and talk on the phone even when l’m around. Now he plans to go away for a weekend to be at the wedding of his ex’s str8 sister. I’m getting increasingly uneasy about it all but l don’t want to lose him by making what he feels are unfair demands. Am l the prick or is he?
Daddy: He is, by putting you in this very uncomfortable position. Did you ever discuss with him why they broke up? How long after before you met him? Were you only a boomerang boy? Did he move in with you because the other guy threw him out? Do you really believe when he’s away for that wedding weekend that the sparks of temptation won’t rekindle?
Maybe you don’t want to lose him, but what’s worse, losing him or your own self-respect? Suggest you go with him on this wedding junket (if he was planning to stay with his ex’s family tell him the two of you will grab a motel instead) so you can get to know his old clan. If he resists, be bluntly honest, no matter what his response, that all this shit with his ex is bothering you plenty and that it might be smarter for the two of you to live apart (translation, he get his own place), and see whether what the two of you got going is real. How he reacts to your ultimatum will very revealing how he really feels about him – and you.