When Is a Sex Addiction Not a Sex Addiction?
The American Psychiatric Association which is still grappling with whether sex addiction is a disease at all, defines hypersexual disorder as spending so much time pursuing intercourse or masturbation as to interfere with your job or other important activities. I guess what they mean by “other important activities” is social interaction, the responsibilities of daily living, like eating and sleeping, etc.
OK, I can buy that if you’re constantly getting a hard-on by your desk at work fantasizing over the cutie in the next cubicle or the daddy on your pc screen instead of working on that report for the boss; or you call in sick because you were on an all night bender edging yourself up on X-Tube til four in the morning. And your place looks like a contender for the next installment of that hoarders series.
But what if you live alone, don’t have a wifey or kids to contend with, or have a partner who’s on auto pilot, you work from home, are retired, or fulfill your 9 to 5 duties, do your food shopping or laundry, and then spend the rest of the evening thinking about dick? Is that interfering with your job or other “important activities”? Is it any worse than some jock beer-bellied wannabe watching football or baseball six nights a week or obsessed with violent video games on his X-Box? Or some meth head getting perpetually high?
Hey, in between writing my blogs or my next book, I’ll check the hook –up sites to see if anybody loves me. (He loves, he loves me not, he loves me …).
Now the APA definition of hyperactive sex doesn’t distinguish between intercourse ( i.e., actual in-the-flesh hookups) and masturbation, and while studies show regular sex with a committed partner once a day is healthy, only 3% of horny college age men reported they got off that many times with their dick in a hole. So does that mean guys who get it less than seven times a week are just as less healthy as guys who get it a lot more?
As I already surmised as an amateur sociologist, sexuality, according to the experts, including orientation and level of your horniness, involves your brain’s hormonal system which is regulated by our inherited genetic make-up but also molded by environment. Being bombarded by porn if you hit the hook-up sites regularly or the provocative visuals we see everyday in Madison Avenue driven Corporate America can certainly contribute to our heightened sexual longings.
Whether it is a form of diversion or recreation, or borne out of boredom, the desire to be wanted, or just plain lust, is wanting to get it on for real or virtually all that wrong if we have the rest of our life’s ducks in a row?
As for the reclusive isolationism a runaway sexual appetite padlocked to a pc may create, more and more, thanks to camming, smart phones and texting, haven’t all of our direct face-to-face social encounters taken a nosedive?
So is runaway sexual behavior just an extreme version of normal sexuality or sick?
What do YOU think?