Cruising in Limbo

Cruising in Limbo

Are you one of those guys faced with this no-win dilemma when you’re out for more than a cold beer?

You’re 35, 38, north of 40, maybe even 50 and beyond. You’re in decent shape, go to the gym at least more often than the average American male, have a clean bill of health, don’t take pills for anything, don’t smoke (because you’re cheap), don’t do drugs (because you’re cheap and smart), and don’t drink excessively. Or either by luck or good genes, and an occasional touch of Just for Men or an every-six-month botox shot, you look good, buddy, a good ten years younger than your momma would tell you.

Now, who wouldn’t be flattered when a guy old enough to be your son comes up to you and whispers to you in a deep guttural tone, “Man, you’re hot. I wanna be your bitch.” You certainly wouldn’t kick him out of bed. (Most older guys who ONLY go for younger guys I think are setting themselves up for eventual failure, but, hey, that’s their business.) But your preference is a guy 35-55, your chronological or mythical (he or you are 55, but look 45) contemporary. And a kissing cousin in the looks/physique department.

One problem.

Three out of 4 of the guys in your preferred age range have their stomach in New Orleans and their ass in the Panhandle, are triple chinned, chain smoke (a notorious fag habit) between double shots of vodka, still sniff coke or smoke grass like they were college freshmen, or do meth like candy and/or are a walking medical dictionary.

And … they don’t give a shit. They actually think THEY’RE hot. And like there’s a lid for every pot, there are guys out there who think they are, too.

Oh, these men will come onto you Big Time like the train wreck (see above) who came on to me once at the now gone 2206 leather bar in Tampa. I tried to be polite but every  time I cruised on, he made it a point to come over and resume the conversation, telling me down to my shoe size that I was IT to him. Finally, he popped the question which he should have asked ten rounds around the bar earlier. “So what are you lookin’ for?”

“My clone,” I replied dryly. “If I had a twin brother, we’d never leave the bedroom.”

And I’m a sincere believer that the 50+ generation, in particular, lost a lot of hot guys who probably would have stayed that way if Big A hadn’t spoiled their plans.

So what about that fourth guy (you know, three minus four equals one), the guy who’s a 47 year old hottie? Well, nine out of ten times (stay with me, guys), he wants somebody who’s taller than you or shorter than you, furrier than you or smoother than you, butcher than you (whips, chains and ropes hanging off his belt loops) or girlier than you (eyeliner optional), heavier than you or skinnier than you, darker than you or blonder than you, or shit, younger than you … you get the drift.

So, where are we then?

Yep, cruising in limbo.


6 thoughts on “Cruising in Limbo

  1. Male Exstacy

    I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m 60… and still pretty damn handsome. I still get hit on by men and women alike. Hot enough to still attract a few true hotties I am interested in bedding down… ranging in ages from 25 to 50. Thanks to good genes, good health, good nutrition and good skin care I look 10 years younger than I am (though I need to lose 20#) and have all my hair.
    BUT… there are enough hot guys who pass me by…or delete my emails without ever reading them, that this is what my profile on Manhunt says:

    Here’s why there are so many lonely, sexless men in the Gayborhood:
    Average men want hotties.
    Hotties are just too hot for anyone.
    Older want younger.
    Younger want it all.
    Eveyone wants the next guy around the bend.
    No one wants who’s available!
    Let’s get off this sad merry-go-round!

    When I was 44 I met a guy who was 65. All he wanted was to spend some time with me naked and blow me. It turned out to be some of the best sex of my life. He made our time together ALL about me and my dick, and he had oral talents I’ve never found since. He worshipped me and I could call him and get head on a moment’s notice. In fact I became addicted to his mouth and saw him at least once a week for nearly a year. If I had refused to even meet him because of his age I’d have missed some truly great sex.

    All I am saying, is give guys a chance.

    1. Absolutely. I think a lot of guys, pretty or not, are living in some fucken gay fantasy world – I mean are we dealing with mature adult males or adolescent school girls? The web is even worse. Having played it for a number of years, I think what started as hook-up sites have morphed into chatty Cathy/virtual sex sites. The problem is where else do you go?

      Thanks for the feedback.


      1. Male Exstacy

        I met a guy recently on Grindr and then in person at the gym who is one fucking hot muscle hunk. I would never have imagined he’d give me a go at his hot muscled butt. But he showed off for me in the shower one day, so I knew he was interested. He’s 47, played college ball, cute as can be, and still built like a brick shit house. You’d love him, from what I can tell. AND he has no attitude… or Dallitude as we call it here in Dallas. We got together last Friday. I knew he wanted some “daddy time” and wanted to be dominated a bit, but had no idea… When I showed up he was naked and on his knees in the BR. Chowed down on my cock like a man dying of thirst. Best head I’ve had in ages. Tossed him on the bed where I ate out his ass listening to him moan and pat my head. Deep throated his nice big cock as a thank you, lubed up my pole and plowed him hard and deep while I played with his big pecs and nice nips. He came with a roar and so did I.

        Now, I’m really not a hottie like you, or like him. But he said it was great sex and he wants more. Most guys at my gym either look at me like I’m invisible or give a brief passing nod and hurry by looking for some 30 year old. Sad isn’t it? I DO give great sex… great head, a great fuck, and everything still works (yes, better living through chemistry, as DuPont said… viagra is my friend.) But my ego is intact. I know what they are missing…this new guy found out too.
        Rewarding when it happens, isn’t it?

        Too damn bad you’re so far away. Your writing says exactly what I think most of the time, which mean I think you’re pretty damn smart . The hint of pics I’ve seen make you appear a real hottie.
        I’m MALEDALTX on Manhunt if you want to say hi.

  2. Lucas

    WOW.. you Nailed my Life ~EXACTLEY~…

    I am 39, Goodlooking, and Have my Act Togather.. & am Happy with myself. I look 28(not that it matters to me-or that I even try), but ALL the Guys I am interested in between 35 & 55 are Exactley as you Described..
    All the time I spend looking for a Guy its Always the Same Story which you have Described to a T. The 50’s Guys (who I find Physically MOST Attractive) are all but Non-Existant, and if they do meet me they dont take me Seriousley because I have very little in common with them because I am soo Easy-Going. I look “soo young” they say, and their Biggest Complaint seems to be that Im “Content with My Life”, & I have NO VICES.
    And your Right about the Late 40s Hottie Guys, $Success$ is SUCH a Big Deal to them that unless I am pulling up in a New Lexus they want NOTHING to do with me. Also, they are SUPER PICKY about what race they want and are EXACTING About Physical Features…
    ***and you are EXACTLEY RIGHT about the Smoking Thing*** I DONT SMOKE and this I Feel puts me at an INCREDIBLE DISADVANTAGE for my age Group & Amongst ALL Gay Men PERIOD.. Soo Much so that I have found it EASIER Latley to Meet and Date Women.
    Please Keep Writing..
    You are SPOT ON.

    Lucas Tischler
    Venice, Florida

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