Threesomes: Utterly Decadent or Somewhat Problematic?

Threesomes: Utterly Decadent or Somewhat Problematic?

It all depends. Partners welcome them now and again to revitalize a sexual relationship that’s becoming mundane, but many times, threesomes aren’t the equal deals in bed that gay fantasies have portrayed them to be.

I’ve had my share of them over the years and I’ve learned while men and combinations thereof are as varied as numbers on a scratch off lottery card, some common threads still apply.

You have the spontaneous threesomes that take place in some sex club/bath house venue or backroom. Here, two guys are screwing around and, all of a sudden, enters Mr. Number Three. Sometimes the original pair are so into it, New Guy tries butting in before realizing it just ain’t gonna happen. But just as often, the twosome are total strangers who just started getting it on 79 seconds before, and having a third guy to go down on the two of them while they’re warming up in the kissing department just adds to the fun.

Then, there are the threesomes with partners and fuck buddies. These can be spur of the  moment, too, like when a pair of belt loop boys, clinging onto one another all night at the local levi/leather bar, suddenly zero in on what would make them both happy, standing against the wall. But, more often, liaisons with pairs who know one another’s bodies and hot buttons like two well oiled machines tend to be prearranged, often on the web, or pre-screened as happens when the twosome is at a vacation hot spot or on some RSVP cruise. Such adventures give them an opportunity to size up, cock tease, and come on to Mr. Possibility. (Checking out HIV statuses doesn’t hurt either, particularly when the twosome are poz – or neg – boys.) With fuck buddies where their mutuality is based largely on good sex it’s less of a  issue, but partners are wise to fuck around off local soil so there’s less likelihood of Mr. New Guy becoming a threat to their relationship.

That’s because, as I said before, invariably there’s a subtle or not so subtle stronger connection between New Guy and one of the pair sexually and, yes, even emotionally, which may not end with the used condom or dirty cum rag on the floor.

So what combinations work the best? Two hairy guys into a smooth one or vice versa as a change of pace (like having pistachio ice cream instead of the usual vanilla, chocolate and strawberry); a top, a bottom, and a “versatile,” or, mommy, hold me back, three versatiles. On the other hand, three lids or three pots just don’t make for exciting three-way romps.(That’s why pre-screening is a must.)

What’s the hottest threesome I ever had? When two hot hot guys who I had product-tested separately – sometimes I just get lucky – had voiced an interest in meeting one another and I offered to play host – as long, of course,  I could join in. Surprisingly a good time was had by all. It was one of the few menage-a-trois I had been involved in where every guy got equal billing. In fact, if the cameras had been rolling, we would have the streaming porn show of the month.  Ah, but no sound track please. That’s because while Steve had his tongue up Jerry’s hairy hole and Jerry had his mouth on my tool (adds a new meaning to that iconic line from “Sunset Boulevard,” “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille”) we were chatting about the latest sales at Targets!

Go figure.

More on Threesomes  Wednesday …

 

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