Duh, Did He Say THAT?
Every time l open Growlr, that phone app appealing to the bearish type and their admirers, l’m asked to sign up for its paid “Pro” membership. Why? Seven out of the ten hits l get are for masseurs, sex parties, guys cleaning houses or guys renting or looking to rent rooms. Of the other three that are actual hits to have sex, most are halfway around the world or not my type at all or are looking for me to open my privates. Hell, these fucken hookup sites are more and more becoming like baseball card trading venues. Show me yours and l’ll show you mine.
Anyway, two recent messages perked my interest for their naïveté, or maybe their stupidity.
One was from a newbie to Lauderdale, a 57 year old retiree from Ohio who was searching for a younger man, preferably under 30, who he could, as he put it, “shower with my love and affection.” Jesus, buddy, get a reality check. While l’m not saying they’re aren’t younger guys attracted to older men for their seasoned confidence, most are looking to be showered in dollars, free housing, and maybe the keys to your BMW. “Love and affection” come in distant thirds.
Then there’s this beefy older guy who cleans houses for a living and was looking for a room to rent since he and his bf (who presumably had the apartment or condo) are breaking up. Out of curiosity, l checked out his profile where he described himself as “engaged.” Not for nothing, but aren’t we carrying it a bit too far, applying hackneyed str8 terms str8’s don’t even use much anymore to gay matings?
I very nicely messaged him back saying maybe he needed to update his profile since it was obvious he and his hubby-to-be were no longer “engaged.”
His response: “After l move out.”
Okay …. I guess he doesn’t want to ruin that “beat the shit out of me” sex till it’s over over.