Not Heeding The Red Flags Can Have Serious Consequences
Case in point: after over forty years of marriage in New Jersey to a woman and two kids and a grandson, Eddie decided to play the gay life in Fort Lauderdale. (He has not seen his grandson since his divorce.) Now white suburban married couples for the most part socialize with other white suburban married couples, unlike us gay men who meet and fuck around with all kinds of guys (like a corporate attorney making with a Macy’s clerk) and over the years get to read people.
So after sowing his oats, Eddie who doesn’t even drink, falls in love with a HIV poz former meth head. Or at least that’s what tall, humpy, hairy Jack tells him. All us PF’s – Professional Fags who have been around the block – tell Eddie that if Jack’s a good fuck, fuck him,but don’t have him move in with you until you’re absolutely sure he’s clean.
“But l love him,” replies naive Eddie who has fallen for the Made for Logo movie about romance and gay men.
Red flag # 1: blind trust.
So Jack who has shit and has been sleeping on a buddy’s sofa, moves into Eddie’s beachfront condo and is available anytime Eddie wants him. One morning while still in bed, Eddie overhears Jack on his cell bragging to a buddy that he just snared a daddy to take care of him. Eddie confronts Jack, tells him he may be living here for nothing but he still has to contribute to the utility and food bills to which, of course, Jack totally agrees, gives Eddie a heavy tongue kiss and spreads his ass cheeks for Eddie’s hard pole.
Red Flag #2: Failing to shift reality from the bullshit.
Jack starts exhibiting strange behavior. Sits in his truck for a while after running errands instead of coming right up. Is overly passionate but impotent, doesn’t finish Eddie’s great Italian dishes, and has trouble sleeping. Eddie shares these behaviors with his best bud, me, who having done the shit tells him point blank, “Eddie, Jack’s still a user.” Eddie can’t believe it.
Red Flag #3: Failing to believe someone who knows better than you
Finally, coming home from the gym early, he catches Jack, who’s almost a foot taller than Eddie, red handed, pipe in hand, and orders him to pack up his stuff and leave. Last Eddie hears, Jack leaves town to pair up with all old buddy and fellow meth head in Atlanta.
A month later, Eddie calls me, all crazy, tells me Jack stole his gold jewelry including an heirloom bracelet from his grandmother, no doubt to hock for meth money.
My response: “You’re lucky that’s all that happened.”
Fourteen years ago when l had just moved down here, both main stream media and the gay rags reported on a savage murder of an elderly gay man who had just retired here in Lauderdale at the hands of a young hustler who he invited over. A month ago, that same guy, now pushing 40, voluntarily confessed to the cops in some small Midwestern town he was now living in that he had seen Jesus and felt compelled to unburden his guilty heart of the crime he had committed so long ago and so far away.
Cut the shit.
Lesson: when you know nothing about the Life and are naive and perhaps too trusting, take it slow, listen to your buddies who know better –
And heed the red flags.
Before it’s too late.