The Top Worse Fag Habits Once You Hit The Bedroom
He keeps calling you Steve, but your name is Jim.
He lights up a cig (not a joint that could be enjoyable) while you attempt to suck his cock. Careful with the ashes, buddy. Or worse, keeps checking his smartphone or watching porn on his phone while you suck his cock. (If you need porn, you don’t need me.)
He looks like he should be lubing car engines but rambles on about how disastrous Beyonnce’s hairdo was on some awards show.
He starts talking about his sick dog or sick mother or last DUI and doesn’t stop while you continue to attempt to suck his cock.
He just talks too much, period. “I like my nips pulled on too, ever since I was 12 and my friend Billy wanted to see if he could hang me from his old lady’s clothesline with some clothes pins. And then …” More than you wanna know about his soiled sexual past.
He said he had a 8 inch tool but even hard, it looks like he started measuring from the crack of his ass. Or measured in centimeters, not inches.
His hard-on is more hard-off and denies he’s partied. (Dicks don’t lie.)
Just as you’re getting into it, really into it in one position (standing, sitting, on his stomach, on his back, upside down), he decides he wants to suddenly change like he’s some moving target at the carnival.
He says he’s a bottom and keeps aiming his dick at your butt hole. And doesn’t understand or has selective hearing when you say no in English and Croatian.
He says he’s a bottom but he’s so tight a stick of dynamite wouldn’t get in.
He says he’s a bottom but isn’t up to getting fucked tonight.
He says he loves a long, slow fuck – just the way you like it – and cums in three minutes after you stick your man meat in him, then just lays there – three feet from you – rattling on about his grocery list while you try to get off.
He says he loves a long, slow fuck – just the way you like it – and you fuck him slow and deep for almost an hour. Then he cums and just lays there – three feet from you – rattling on about his grocery list while you try to get off.
He says he loves sucking cock but barely touches yours.
He’s a top and you’re a top, but agrees two tops can still have fun which for him is you worshiping his not-so-big dick for a hour til he pops.
He loves to get rimmed but hasn’t cleaned up which you find out AFTER you stick your tongue in his crack.
He loves to rim and is pissed you cleaned up.
Wonder why cruising xtube sounds more exciting?