He Sounds Like a Great Guy But …

He wants to bare back and you don’t.

He doesn’t have a car and can’t host which means you would have to pick him up, unproduct tested, take him back to your place, and then, once if and when you’ve played, take him back. Like some private sex cab service. Why not throw in dinner too?

He came all the way from Canada or England or Australia but is too cheap to pay roaming charges on his smartphone so that, like, you can call him once you’ve sealed the deal on the web about having sex and not drive around looking for an address that doesn’t exist.

He opens his private pics for you but when you pose the question – “wanna connect?” doesn’t respond. What is this all about? IS he some kind of virtual flasher?

He says he just “loves to bottom” and “get fucked for hours,” but when you get him spread eagle, he confesses he hasn’t had it in “awhile” and is so tight a broomstick would have problems getting in.

He asks “you party?” which means he wants you to provide the Tina, G and crack free of course, so that he can be high while you do all the work. Has anybody under 35 who has hit you up on the web lately with a lot of sweet talk (“Boy, you’re fucken hot, dude!”) not ask you that 4 e-mails into your little chat?