Could The True Fountain of Youth Be – Dog Doo?
There are between seventy and eighty million dogs with owners in the U.S. and you can count me as having three of them. I think having pets is the biggest social welfare scheme ever devised by the animal kingdom, and you know us gay guys treat our little pooches or felines like surrogate children.
Now my property is fenced in, so instead of having to walk my brew l let them do their thing in the backyard and go with my plastic bag and gloves every couple of days to tidy things up. But my two miniature doxies (my third is an adorable chihuahua/terrier mix) have a rather disgusting habit. Yes my little babies are into – how should l put this? – scat.
Where did l go wrong??
In fact, Bebe is right at Annie’s hole to catch it like it was coming out of one of those Dairy Queen ice cream dispensers. Ugh! Though l’m sure I’m hardly the only dog owner who has witnessed such revolting behavior from their pet.
But then l got to thinking. Both my little darlings are pushing 14 which is 98 in human years, and while they’ve slowed down, they’re as frisky as ever when they wanna be. Like when l yell out, “Okay, who wants a cookie?”
Could it be that one might attribute their youthfulness and vitality to their eating one another’s crap?? Stuff I’ve been throwing away by the ton for decades? (My ex and l have had ten dogs and one cat in our years together.)
If l’m right, can you imagine the product lines we could develop? Dog Doo cream for those wrinkles. Who needs Botox or fillers. Dog doo vitamins. Dog Doo shampoo so you never go gray again. Flavored Dog Doo ice pops. Dog Doo pills for the pecker. Dog D liquors. Dog Doo spas where you can soak in shit, literally. Hell, nursing homes would go out of business, plastic surgeons would file for bankruptcy and the stocks of GNC who l’d partner with would go through the roof.
The possibilities are endless.
Maybe l’ll test my hypothesis on one of my tricks, mix some BeBe (the name of one of my doxies) Natural Potency Nectar with some flavoring and see if it improves his performance.
If it does, goodbye Viagra!