“Online Solicitations Require No Reply.”

“Online Solicitations Require No Reply.”

This was the headline of a recent advice column from Miss Manners, today’s Etiquette Guru.

A guy who used online dating sites was complaining that he often never received a response from women to whom he had sent a “personalized letter … five to eight sentences long … pointing out some of our common interests … and suggesting we meet for coffee and conversation.”

He felt their ignoring his little missiles was rude and uncouth. He continued:

“Even if there is no interest on their part, what is so difficult in a response, something like, ‘Thank you for your interest. While l enjoyed reading your profile, l do not see us as a couple. Best of luck in your search.’

Miss Manners’ assessment of the guy’s dilemma went on for six paragraphs (maybe she’s paid by the word like Charles Dickens was. His profuse prose had its reasons, all financial). She ended with:

“Although your tactful wording could serve as a model for rejecting an acquaintance, there is really no charming way, other than silence, to express, ‘l can’t imagine that it would be worth my while to meet you.’

How would l have answered the guy?

What fucken planet did you land from?

I akin hits on the web to cold sales calls, which means if l ain’t interested in your product – which in this case is you – l don’t have to do anything, especially if telling you l’m not interested is going to eat away at my data usage.

Hell, if l hit up a guy l dig and whose profile sounds like we should be compatible once, maybe twice if l just came home from the bar and l’m drunk, and he doesn’t respond, l MOVE ON. I don’t expect shit if he ain’t interested. Like l say, if they don’t want you, they don’t want you.

Yet l get guys who l’m not interested in who have been hitting me up off and on FOR YEARS. If l didn’t respond to your fifth fucken “You’re hot!“ or your tenth, “Breed me,” do you really think haranguing me will work??

Or may be you’re a MORON ( which by the way was a psychiatric clinical term) and don’t get it.

Some of you may consider me tight assed and egocentric to not at least graciously thank a guy who gives a “You’re hot!” compliment but l find if l do, the guy often interprets this as an entree for more extended conservation. Exactly what l don’t want. Sorry guys, l’m on these pick-up sites to get picked up, not chat.

The worse are those guys who you have to insult by clearly stating, “l”m not interested. I’m into fur and you’re not furry. Sorry.” (l don’t have to give a reason why but l do so that the guy sees there’s a very concrete black and white reason why we wouldn’t click) who two weeks later hits me up again with another “Be my baby daddy.”

If there was ever a reason for a mercy killing, this is it.

 

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