Five Rules For Getting Through Life

Five Rules For Getting Through Life

With most of my life behind me, l thought it would be interesting to impart what l view as my five rules for getting through life:

Rule Number One: Money ain’t everything but without it you’re nobody.

Steve Jobs’ billions couldn’t save him, but do you know how many fifty somethings l meet down here in south Florida who have nothing because they partied half their life away and now have a notion “God  – as in Government – will provide?”

He won’t.

Rule Number Two: Learn to eat shit.

Trump has to eat shit from Congress, corporate presidents have to eat shit from their stockholders, the unions and their competition, and even Jesus had to eat shit from His Daddy: “Sorry, Son, you have to hang on that cross for a couple of more hours.”  I’m tired of these talentless gay boys working minimum wage jobs complaining about their hours, their bosses, their public. Get over it. Ten people are waiting in line for your job. You should have listened to your father and become a plumber.

Rule Number Three: If a guy doesn’t want you, he don’t want you.

All the pleading, cajoling and threatening won’t make any difference.  l just wish l could follow my own rule. That line from “Brokeback Mountain* comes to mind here: “l wish l knew how to quit you.” The best thing to do is to focus on the nastiest thing he ever said to you – nothing kills your puppy dog love and libido faster. I finally fessed up to the fact that a guy I had a hardon for couldn’t have sex – at least with me – if drugs weren’t in the picture. Drugs I paid for. Stupid? Sure I was. Not anymore. He got annoyed when I called him a flake,  but anybody who can’t have sex without the shit is exactly that.

Rule Number Four: lf it’s at all possible, rely on yourself.

Self-reliance is the best life tool you can have. People who rely on people to bail them out or hold their hand all the time are weak. Remember, nobody gives a damn about you more than you. Sure people may empathize and sympathize but when it comes down to the bottom line, you have to care about yourself. Being self reliant makes you strong.

And finally:

Rule Number Five: Always – Always Have a Plan B

What if you lose your job? Got some money stowed away to tide you over? Lover suddenly pull up stakes for a cutie? Got some activity to keep your mind occupied til you get over the bumps and the urge to hire a hit man to do them both in?

Whoever said life was just a bowl of cherries forgot about the pits.


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