Monogamy Double Talk
I admire guys who are honest in their web profiles and just spit it out: “not looking for a relationship.” Or guys with partners who freely admit they’re both on the prowl either singly or jointly; after all, Fort Lauderdale is a town of philandering partners. And then, of course, as I did before I unhinged from my partner there are the nasty sneaks who do it on the side.
I say that because I’m fucken tired of the gay fantasy propaganda that depicts two guys in forever monogamous bliss. Or the whole gay marriage thing which implies monogamy is good. And the only way.
I define monogamy very strictly: you have sex with one another and only one another, not together with another guy. That does not mean meeting you at a bath house after the bars close down while your other half roams the same halls looking for his own piece of ass as one fan of mine proposed. The same guy refused to meet me at my place at a more God fearing time of day because I guess that would mean he was cheating. Nuts.
God bless those who can live that gold standard. But when asked “what is your ideal relationship?” in a recent hook-up site survey, two thirds of guys responded “open” or “polygamous” or “being a bachelor.” And when it comes to sex, the overwhelming majority of guys said they would do, or have done threesomes. (My sarcastic view of monogamous couples is that they’re so homely no one else would want to have sex with them. I know, I know, like my Jewish boy school students often shouted when I gave them too much homework, “Teach, you’re a bastard!”)
Also interesting are the results of another mini-poll. While most guys in a relationship where one of the partners is no longer interested in sex would stay hooked up, half would take on fuck buddies, without or without their partner’s knowledge.
So where does all this “til death do us part” monogamous mental attitude come from? A rip-off of str8 society that some of us still think we need to emulate to be truly happy? The gay media that keeps showing beaming young lovers? Gay fiction? Gay fantasy? The lesbian component of our grand community since two women tend to be more loyal than two guys?
Who knows? I just think those who hold this monogamy sword above our heads as something we should strive for should cut the shit. That’s not what many of us want nor should we need to.
Or is it?