Telling Your World: Part II
So you’re ready to tell the people in your shitty little two-by-four world that you’re gay. O.K., but just keep two maxims in mind:
Reality #1: There’s no gay law that says you have to tell the world. Do people walk up to total strangers and ask them if they’re gay or got their ladies to suck their dick yet? Whose business is it anyway what people do in their private lives, as long as they’re not raping young kids or robbing banks? I am constantly bewildered by some gays’ obsession to spill their guts out. Why? Who the fuck cares?
Reality #2: Don’t assume that just because you’ve bared your soul, everyone will be accepting and understanding and ready to buy you a wedding gift in advance just in case you meet the man of your dreams. Contrary to gay fantasies, life ain’t no made-for-Logo movie. We have all known of guys (maybe we’re one of them) who have been:
- abandoned by family, guilty that they somehow failed as parents, or embarrassed that the world knows they have a “pervert” for a son;
- thrown out by wives who feel inadequate or betrayed and take out their anger in bloody, knock-down divorces;
- abandoned by their children who may not be as enlightened as we thought they were;
- shunned by naïve girl friends who thought they had a shot at the aisle;
- demoted or dumped by bosses who just don’t like faggots; or
- deserted by lifelong buds who suddenly begin dissecting every past gesture of buddy affection between the two of you.
So be ready for the backlash; just because you want to lead your life gay doesn’t mean the people in your life (present and past) have to agree with you.
Now, my ex and I never brought up the subject with family, co-workers or straight friends. They all knew we lived together, co-owned houses, dogs, etc., etc., etc. Unless they were all pretty dumb, I’m sure that at some point most of them figured out that with G and me, 2+2= 3. But never, never did anyone confront us or throw it up in our faces. And if they had
, I think we would just say, “yep,” and move on.
Bottom line, you don’t have to flaunt your sexuality or wear it on your sleeve. If people know and respect you, they either don’t care, or have figured it all out a long time ago anyway.