“Loving”: Fuck Buddies
At first blush (and I don’t blush easy), a fuck buddy is just what it says it is. A buddy you get together with now and again on a regular basis to get one another’s rocks off. No hearts and flowers. No Godiva chocolate on Valentine’s Day. No walks on the beach. No emotional roller coaster rides. Or arguments about your mother. Just slam, bam, thank you ma’am, and see you in a few weeks for more of the same, Jake.
I had a trio of them in New York but it took me years down here in Teflon One Fuck Wonder Fort Lauderdale to develop my stable of hot guys – all hairy, humpy and younger than me – that I could count on for regular, lustful encounters.
But those who have or have had fuck buddies know that these fellow playmates are much more than a hard dick or ass you get to know as good as, or even better than your own.
First, many guys turn to fuck buddies when sex has gone out of their own “LTR’s.” That’s why it’s good that at least one buddy in a fuck buddy duo has his own place. Sleazy motels can add to the experience, but they still cost $$ and mean logistical pre-planning.
But, unlike tricks that might prove dangerous to a relationship that otherwise has something else going for it, fuck buddies are safe like a warm kitten. In fact, many a fuck bud has actually saved a “marriage” by giving the guy an outlet to let off his sexual steam, so to speak.
A good fuck buddy is also a good listener. He’ll listen to shit about your job your partner won’t because a FB doesn’t want anything to spoil that next hour of hot, unbridled sex. He can play marriage counselor of sorts, even if all you do is vent, at least for those ten minutes of conversation before the two of you do what you met for. Sometimes these conversations can include topics like new sex toys, or reviews on new play spots in the scene that only two sluts without any agendas could engage in.
A good fuck buddy is also reliable and convenient. You know exactly what to expect from him and him from you. No uncomfortable surprises like with a trick with whom you haven’t had the chance to go over your sexual do’s and don’ts check-off list. Plus, you pretty much know one another’s schedules and so can predict and anticipate (isn’t hot sex half anticipation anyway?) when you’ll get together. Guaranteed, satisfying sex at 4:30 in the afternoon on the way home from work. What more could a boy want? It beats having your lover pile your shit on the curb if you came home at 3 in the morning from a loser trick.
At the same time, fuck buddies are the perfect sex partners to experiment with, things you’d be afraid to try with your love partner who might accuse you of straying (“where did you learn that?”). Hey, and if those shoe laces and fish sinkers don’t work, no big deal. You already know one another’s tried and true hot buttons.
And do I need to remind you that FB’s are also great for NSA threesomes that a member of a love two-some might feel uncomfortable with or even threatened by?
Where some fuck buddy relationships go sour is when one begins to take the other for granted. While you’re breaking your ass trying to hold onto those three pack abs, he’s decided to live in the fridge. This usually happens when one is content to get most or all his sex from the other and doesn’t feel he needs to keep his marketable edge, the same shit like two straight marrieds or gay partners. A relationship is still a relationship, whatever its premise. You still have to work at it.
Drugs frankly can also bring some fuck buddyships to a sudden firey end. When I told three of my FB’s no more Tina, suddenly their interest in Daddy Ray evaporated. Hey, I kinda knew that the meth was the carrot in front of the donkey and was ready to see them disappear when I had decided their hot bodies weren’t worth it, even after i tolerated a torrid of texts where their fondness for me turned ugly and even vicious.
Another problem is when one member of the fuck buddy duo starts developing feelings for the other which the other doesn’t want. Awkward situations like this can spell the end of the hook-ups as it did for me and Rob who I honestly think suffered from Catholic guilt for which I became the victim. More on that Wednesday.
But on the other hand, if both players are on the same page, a FB can turn into lover as Sean has for me. More on that Friday.
But getting back to your basic, no frills fuck buddy, when things are going good and you’ve had a shitty week at work, your partner is up your ass again (figuratively that is) or prefers watching an eighty year old Bette Davis movie over sucking your cock, or you’re box office poison that week in the bars or baths or on the web or apps, it’s great to know you can rely on a buddy with benefits to make it all right again.
At least for one and a half uncivilized hours.