Str8 or gay, fantasizing is a big part of life – it’s what gets most of us through the day. Fantasizing about a better job, having money, winning over more friends, seducing better lovers, or the ultimate wet dream, finding the love of our shitty two-by-four lives But when does fantasy interfere with us enjoying our realities?
I bitch and write about the web and by extension phone apps a lot, mainly because, whether we like or not, it has become a dominant factor in being gay in Twenty-first Century America. More than any other place today, we meet – or try to meet – one fuck wonders, fuck buddies, future partners or just buds cyberlly. But it bothers me, yes, even troubles me when I encounter guys who are nice enough to come on to me – attractive or just pleasant looking and sounding guys – who are on the web, at least I think, more for the fantasy and not the possibility of ever pressing flesh.
I could probably give you dozens of examples, but let’s focus on one I had recently with a guy on one of the daddy sites who was a continent away from me in South Oregon. Judging by his age, look and demeanor, he was, like me, a Daddy, but certainly one I would have no problem bedding down with for an Aviance afternoon. (Aviance was a fragrance back in the 80’s and 90’s that portrayed a sexy, working woman in its ads who, when she was ready to let her hair down with her man, splashed on the Aviance.)
He opened his ice-breaker with a very sweet compliment. “I gotta tell you, I think you’re one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen.” Maybe was he was suffering from macular degeneration, but I thanked him for the ego kick and hit one back at him.
“You ever get to south Oregon?” he asked next.
Now anything’s possible in life but the chances of me, who lives in sunny south Florida, ever visiting south Oregon were, well, as great as me growing anther six inches. (which ever way your dirty mind wants to imagine). So I replied, “I doubt it.”
“You sure?” he countered. So then I got sarcastically cute.
“Well, I do have a friend who has early onset dementia who said that when he knew he was truly losing his mind he would move to Oregon where physician assisted suicide is legal. If he does, we could always fuck around after I went to visit him for the last time before he takes his morphine cocktail. Otherwise, it doesn’t seem likely.”
To which he replied, “Gee, can’t I at least fantasize?”
Now we all jerk off on occasion ( or some of us on a regular basis) over some hot guy on the web, but I found in his reply kinda sad. I really think he was fantasizing about us as a twosome, not just some hot cum rag cyber buddy.
Is this the reason why eight out of ten of the hits I get on the web are from out-of-town guys who have no plans of ever visiting Fort Lauderdale, while the local guys I hit up never reply or hit me back with evasive nowhere responses? It’s just easier to fantasize when you know you’ll never have to deal with the reality of actually meeting the guy.
Like the hot hairy guy in PA who gushed endlessly one summer when I was up at my house in the Poconos on how much I was his type. The problem was he was a half a state away from me in Harrisburg. We dicked around about rendezvousing at some midway point til I got the brilliant idea that I would visit Harrisburg and its National Civil War Museum and make a sidetrip to Gettysburg. (I’m an amateur Civil War buff.) I e’d him several times that now we could finally meet – what was his final e-mail to me two days before I was ready to leave and I tried to pin him down on when?
“Gee, I really did a good work-put at the gym today.”
Huh?? I didn’t even bother to tell him he was brain dead before I blocked him.
I think some, if not many of us just reject guys who want us up front and personal because we’re afraid our daydream bubble will be busted, and choose rather to jerk off over some guy we know is unattainable but who we can mold into whatever dream man we desire. And that is why I also believe that cock in our face, more and more, never really seems to measure up to the cock of our fantasies.