A Hard Dick Is Hard To Find: Gay America’s Erection Crisis! Part I

A Hard Dick Is Hard To Find: Gay America’s Erection Crisis! Part I

I’ll say it straight out: I have no bones about using Viagra to get a boner. My male ego ain’t fragile enough to pass up a good thing. And, when you no longer needed a doctor’s visit or a script and could order it online like you would some new tech toy, I became a proud, full-fledged member of the Big V generation overnight. I must say the magic blue pill has done good by me. Chew on it (it works faster that way), and 45 minutes later (you can almost set your watch by it) Mr. Peter is up and ready for action. In fact V has added a whole new meaning to being a top. It’s fucking in the third dimension.

Recall that scene in “Cat on A Hot Tin Roof” when closet-case Paul Newman says to Burl Ives that he drinks until he feels that click in his head? Well, that’s the same with Big V. You take it, waiting for that warm twitch in your dick; only, the first sign you know it’s working is that click in your head.

I remember a well educated Ph.D’ed up-to-his-ass fuck buddy of mine when I lived in New York who worked for Pfizer telling me how the company had used its male employees as guinea pigs of sorts. Seems this high blood pressure med they had developed had this unforeseen but very interesting side effect, and so they decided to distribute the stuff to their staffs to see what happened. All I can say, we screwed for hours.

Now, I got a good reason for turning to pharms. I’m not 22, 32, 42, 52, 62 – let’s stop there, O.K? But what the fuck’s the problem with these twenty somethings or thirty somethings who still can’t get their wiener stiff even after five minutes of my award winning blow job? Hell, when I was in my twenties and thirties, I was playing with myself three or four times a day if I could. Give me a rainy Saturday afternoon and a hot issue of Sports Illustrated and I was in jerk-off heaven.

Could it be they’re all too high to get hard? Meth or Tina seems to be the drug of choice  down here in Fort Lauderdale and I’m sure elsewhere despite the difficulty and risk in getting it and its exorbitant cost (hold up a packet of Splenda – that’s $300 fto $500 retail here in SOFLO, though prices vary wildly depending on geo-region.) The ironic thing about T is that it makes you feel like you could fuck every guy in your local standup gay bar, only your penis is on a snooze.  A friend of mine who did his doctoral dissertation on the physiological effects of meth -yes, I ain’t kidding folks – says the reason for “Tina Dick” that even Viagra can’t overcome is that meth makes the body feel like it’s drowning and puts it in a survival mode, draining blood from optionals like your dick to your core organs.

I’m also convinced that the reason a lot of hot, humpy, built-like-brick shithouse guys go bottom after they turn 40 is because it’s just easier. You don’t have to worry about Mr. Peter or “performing.” Just spread those cheeks and get off from the other direction. Hell, most guys I’ve fucked the shit out of or massaged their prostates with a finger fuck aren’t even hard when they shoot.


More on Friday…

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