Where Are All The Unencumbered Men?

Where Are All The Unencumbered Men?

You know what l’m talking about: guys who have their shit together and aren’t chained to anybody, guys who are potential lover material.

So where are they? Here in Fort Lauderdale which l only half jokingly call The Land of Philandering Partners and Assorted Predators, and l suspect elsewhere, they ain’t easy to find.

You’ve got guys partnered, even legally married in open relationships (including sugar daddies and their “sons”) who don’t have a place to play, or if they do, are in relationships where they only play together and Joe is hot but Moe is not.

You got guys partnered or married in closed relationships (including sugar daddies and their “sons” ) who can only meet when their other half is away, preoccupied, working, or fucking around himself. The best time for them is seven o’clock in the morning. (No joke.- that’s the time one encumbered guy wanted to meet after hubby had left for whatever.)

You got guys with no money and/or a schlock job (that’s New Yorkese for a shit job or minimum wage) who get around on bike or scooter and usually connect guys with cars because they have wheels. They also who have no place to fuck around in because they either live in their mother’s basement, on their ex lover’s sofa or with four roommates.They’re often the ones on the market for a sugar daddy, but are manipulative and clever enough you have to read between the lines to figure it out.

You got the druggies or the alkies who expect you to pick up their bar tab or finance their next forty dollar bag of Tina. And that’s for starters. (See above.)

Or you got the guy who has everything, the face, the body, the right age, a good job, the apartment or condo with the smart furniture, the car, the right credit cards, even a cute little doggie, who digs you for the night or as a fuck buddy but says he’s not in the market for a lover ( until one – not you – comes along);

Or who is your soulmate but is from out-of town and lives in Butte, Montana. (Butte is beautiful – believe me, I’ve been there – but you guys in Butte find your soulmate is in Nome, Alaska, and it costs a thousand bucks and three connecting flights to see him.)

So what else is new?

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