Love Machine Or Insatiable Addiction?
You know what l’m talking about. It’s our smartphones, which besides being used to stay in contact with business, family and friends, is our source for “love” or so us gay men think who are hooked to the pickup apps like Grindr and Scruff and Bear411 and all the rest. That’s why Manhunt, the granddaddy of all gay hookup sites, is dying. Though available in a mobile version, MH is behind the times for most of us who don’t want to wade through layers of data junk. Just show me the guys please, especially the ones who desire me, alright?
Okay, the web killed the bars that are now largely social and left the bathhouses for the most part the domain of the old and the anonymous sex boys. But while in the beginning the web promised the possibility of good sex and even better love, sadly it too has deteriorated. Over the last couple of years the guys who hit me up fall into several not very desirable categories:
The illiterate. My profiles say l’m looking for hairy, bearded inshape guys over 40. So why do l get smooth or sloppy 24 year olds or guys who look like they belong in a nursing home or at some Jennie Craig Failures reunion?
The flirtatious. More pics please.
The drive-by breed me all night boys. See Fort Troff > fucking machines.
The out-of town hotties looking for a free vacation in Fort Lauderdale.
The meth heads who think you’re hot till you tell them you don’t pnp or don’t have any candy around.
The don’t get it’s. Fifteen years they hit me up, fifteen years l don’t respond or finally you tell them you’re not interested, and like somebody with Alzheimer’s they continue. Ditto with guys who send you three messages in a row.
The no-shows. promise to call you, promise to come over, even schedule a hook-up and never show or even text you they can’t make it like they were abducted by aliens. (Or maybe they ARE Aliens.)
Do l sound like I’m disgusted. Well, guess what? l am.
A writer to “Ask Amy,” my favorite advice columnist complained about being addicted to his smartphone, and Amy pointed out that studies have linked smartphone overuse to unhappiness and depression. She went on to describe her experience of app fasting which made her feel free.
Could be it be we expect too much from these taps and oinks and “you’re hot” and when they don’t deliver our little fantasies, we find ourselves in worse shape than when we started?
I’ve got one good steady who actually loves me as much as l love him, so l think it’s time l went on my own app fasting diet.
How about you?