Questions You’ll Never Find on the American Citizenship Exam

Questions You’ll Never Find on the American Citizenship Exam

A Brit friend of mine is applying for citizenship, and in addition to being able to speak English (l think that’s what he calls what he’s saying) and not being a felon (his only crime was robbing a pack of fags from a schoolmate when he was twelve), he needs to pass a ten question exam in American history and the American political system. Now Immigration makes it pretty easy by giving you 100 questions and their answers of which they will choose 10 and of which you only have to answer six right.

But here are some questions you’ll never find on any citizenship exam:

  1. “Washington slept here” is often used by towns throughout the East Coast as a tourist grabber. In which town did The Father Of Our Country have a threeway with two barmaids?
  2. Which First Lady could be considered the Wash Woman of the White House?
  3. What President spent money like a drunken sailor so when he died his slaves had to be sold to pay his debts?
  4. Who was quite possibly our shortest President (how big his dick was history doesn’t tell us)?
  5. Which President’s wife was accused of being a bigamist?
  6. Which future President supposedly screwed around with his male room mate while studying law?
  7. Who was possibly our first gay President who was a crossdresser and had his boyfriend live with him in the White House?
  8. Which President fathered a child out of wedlock (for you millenials that means without being married to the gal)?
  9. Which President was a dirty old man who married while in the White House when he was 49 and she was 21?
  10. Which President may have been poisoned by his wife who was fed up with him fucking around?
  11. Which President was a man of such few words, unlike today’s politicians, that when a woman at some function said she took a bet that she could make him say more than two words his reply was “You lose.”
  12. Who was our first “handicapped” President that most people never knew was physically challenged?
  13. Who may have been our first lesbian First Lady?
  14. Who may have been our first alcoholic First Lady?
  15. What President, well known as a womanizer, was quoted as saying, “Move over, this is your President” to some young thing when the both of them we’re trying to recover from their heavy drinking in one of their party host’s bedrooms?
  16. How many times did John F Kennedy jerk off thinking of Marilyn Monroe on his way to his Inauguration?

And you thought Clinton who lied about getting his dick sucked or Trump and Ms Big Boobs were our only Presidential indiscretions.

Answers Monday.

 

 

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