Age CAN Make A Difference

Age CAN Make A Difference

I know a guy, now seventy, who’s married, legally, within the last five years, a trio of twenty somethings because that’s what he likes, each of whom have left him after a year or so and parting with some part of his assets. The last shipped the nice car hubby had bought him to San Francisco, then texted him, “l miss you.” After the rigors of divorcing each of these guys old enough to be his grandson, Mr. Lonely Hearts, handsome and a retired bank exec – that still doesn’t exempt him from being brain dead – is now working on Twenty Something Number Four.

Do age differences make a difference? Sure they do.

Sometimes they’re intentional like here when the old man likes ‘em young or when younger guys are looking for, not necessarily a sugar daddy, but but an older mentor to show them the way. But coming from different generations can and often does lead to great irrevocable divides.

Sometimes age differences just happen, like with me and my ex. While only a decade separated us it was a momentous one in gay history. G, my elder, was nearly caught in a bar raid and always viewed gay life suspiciously. I, the Younger,  came of age with the dawn of Gay Liberation. The result: we never viewed the sub- culture we had been born into it the same way, leaving me often alone – and wandering.

The other very practical issue – romantics you can stop reading here – is when the elder partner begins experiencing the eventualities of old age, often leaving the younger partner still active –  and horney – to become his partner’s caregiver by default  Some soul mates are happy to play the role but many resent it, a few even dropping out of sight when the going gets rough. Just like str8’s who erroneously think their kids will take care of them in their old age, having a partner half your life guarantees you shit. In a bitter irony, while l’ve been there for G’s crises, he has not been there for mine.

So what advice can l impart? Unless guys much younger or older than you are an auto erection turn on, mate with someone close to your own age so you can experience life’s ups – and downs –  on the same page.

Not on different continents.

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