Ever Been “Gaslighted?”
It’s the first time the other day l actually saw it in print, but it’s an American colloquialism familiar at least to me and people l know. It comes from the 1943 Hollywood classic, “Gaslight” `which takes place in the New York City of the 1890’s in which suave but crafty Charles Boyer is trying to make his new young wife, Ingrid Bergman, think she is going crazy so he can have her committed and win her inheritance. He turns down the gas jets in the house externally to make the lights flicker and dim but when Ingrid questions what happened, he denies it and makes her think it is all in her head. Hence to “gaslight” someone is to make them think whatever is happening is not the fault of others but their fault alone.
It’s what l like to call mindfucking.
If you and l were able to have a couple of virtual beers together, l’m sure we could share enough war stories to fill two volumes of “Warped Personalities To Avoid.”
Guys – or gals – who criticize how you look or what you wear when they haven’t looked in their funhouse mirror at home lately?
Guys or gals who criticize your life when their own life is in the shitter? Like the ex-fuck-buddy who criticized my lack of social skills (see my blog, “Pulling a Ray”) and practical views on life when I retired at 55 with $600,000 in the bank and real estate and pollyannic he just lost his job at 56 and is broke and may have to sell his house?
Guys and gals who take advantage of the fact you have a hard-on for them and your emotional feelings override your brains and you even go to the point of loaning them money and then they shit on you and conveniently renage?
Guys who are pissed off that you’ve broke off with them because after all the two of you he claims were having such great sex, only you were doing all the work?
Make it sound like you are the problem child not them?
My advice: Unless the person is supporting you, he or she is your boss, or they’re your mother and you’re living in her basement rent-free, don’t put up with it. Cut them out of your life as quickly as possible. Don’t be gaslighted by mind fuckers.